DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband is usually one of the coolest people I know. He is smart, funny, kind, and brave in situations I could never face. But when he gets even slightly sick or mildly injured, he is a bigger baby than our three-year-old and our nine-month-old baby.

I know I shouldn’t lose patience with my husband, but good god, when he is home with a cold, I have a toddler and an infant (who has yet to sleep through the night!) already keeping me on the run.

How do I tell my biggest baby I have other things I need to do more than take care of him when he is home sick for a day or two? --- HAVE AN EXTRA BABY ON MY HANDS

DEAR HAVE AN EXTRA BABY ON MY HANDS: If your husband’s as smart and kind as you say he is — and even if he isn’t — I would hope he’s up to being told that, while you feel sorry for how lousy he feels, you also need him to be an adult and fend for himself when he’s home sick with relatively minor complaints, so you can take care of the people who rightfully need and deserve your attention.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though my husband’s first wife is the one who decided on a divorce after she met someone else, whenever we get together with friends my husband and she had in common, I get the cold shoulder from the women. They treat me like I did something to hurt their friend, and all I did was marry her ex-husband, years after they split up.

While the men in the friends group treat me okay, to the women, I’m just a Hoe. I’ve told my husband about this, since he doesn’t seem to see it when we’re with his friends. He thinks I’m imagining it, but I know I’m not.

It’s like being back in high school, and I’ve told my husband I don’t want to be around those witches, but he thinks I’m just being snooty around his old friends.

What do I do to get this mess under control? --- NOT THE BAD GUY HERE

DEAR NOT THE BAD GUY HERE: My guess is the story being shared by your husband’s ex is quite different from the one your husband’s shared with you. Think of the old concept, “There are three sides to every story — his, hers, and the truth.” Unfortunately, you’re an unwitting character in all three tales, and it isn’t likely you’re going to change the minds of your predecessor’s friends, especially if there’s also an element of jealousy at play. That would help explain the high school freeze-out mentality.

Perhaps the time has come to break with your husband’s social past, and focus on establishing a new set of friends.

If, however, your husband continues to be blind to how awkward the time spent with his old gang is for you, then maybe you can encourage him to go stag to those events, while you choose to use the time to visit with friends and family of your own. He may tire of being the odd man out at couples events, and eventually opt to just stick to gatherings with the guys.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know that I am not always on time for everything, especially now that I have two kids of my own, but I have a friend who even before we started having families could NEVER make it anywhere on time. She was even late for her own wedding.

Back when it was just a group of friends or just us two getting together, it didn’t seem so bad. Now, though, when I don’t have as much time for a social life, it really bugs me that she can’t make it to our meetups on time. Whenever I say anything to her, she just laughs it off.

I don’t think she does it on purpose. I just think she’s one of those genetically unable to be on time people.

What can I do to waste less time waiting for my always late friend? --- WAITING, WAITING, WAITING

DEAR WAITING, WAITING, WAITING: When our kids were small, I used to try and calculate at least five extra minutes preparation time per child for getting out the door. It’s like building in traffic or bad weather time.

Perhaps something along that same line may work with your perpetually tardy buddy. For instance, if you’re able to meet her at noon, tell her to be there at 11:45 a.m. If she beats you to your rendezvous, then it’ll be her turn to wait. If she’s late for the designated time, she may be at least a little closer to what you originally had in mind.

Another option is to become a time nag, but in my experience, constantly prodding someone to be prompt rarely works.