Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR READERS: Last year, most of us experienced a holiday season like no other.

We’ve come a long way since then, and this time around there’s a better chance to celebrate in most of the traditional ways we’d come to expect before the pandemic changed so much for so many.

As far as we’ve come in 2021, we’re still not quite back to complete normalcy — whatever that may be. And so, please continue to use good sense and follow the recommendations put in place to help keep as many of us healthy and safe as possible.

While remembering those who suffered and continue to suffer from COVID, I wish my readers and those close to you all the best on this special day and beyond. I thank you for being part of my columns, and sincerely hope you have a good, safe, and happy Thanksgiving.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My dad has always been afraid of going to the dentist. He had a really bad experience when he was a kid and the dentist drilled around a deep cavity before fully numbing the area. It didn’t help that his father was a “tough guy” who made my dad feel weak for complaining, even about something like feeling pain in a dentist’s chair.

He has been experiencing some pain in his mouth near one of his molars. Neither he nor my mother can remember the last time he went for even a routine cleaning, and now she and I are worried he could be developing a serious problem in his tooth or gum. I’ve talked to him about sedation dentistry, which several of my friends use, and even found three practices in his town that take his insurance, but that hasn’t been enough to get him to make an appointment.

What else can my mom and I do to convince my stubborn dad that his health is at stake if he does nothing about his pain until it becomes a crisis? --- DAD HATES DENTISTS

DEAR DAD HATES DENTISTS: Your dad is far from alone in his fear of dental work, and his early unfortunate experience makes his reluctance even more understandable.

I agree that in your dad’s case, sedation dentistry may be a wise solution. Perhaps one of your friends who has gone that route would agree to share their experiences with him. It might also help if he’s able to arrange a consultation with one of the dentists you located who practices sedation dentistry. Having the chance to discuss his feelings and ask specific questions of an established dental professional could be the key to easing his anxiety and getting him in for appropriate treatment before, as you fear, what starts as a relatively small problem becomes a complicated one.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It’s been nearly three months since we moved into our new house. My older son, who is seven, has adjusted perfectly, but my nearly three-year-old still keeps asking when we are going to go to “his home.” Sometimes he gets agitated and starts to cry about wanting to be in “his home.”

I’m happy that my older son has school to keep him busy and gives him a chance to make new friends, but I feel bad for the little guy, who just does not get what has happened. Sometimes it breaks my heart and I wonder if we should have stayed in the old place awhile longer, but we got a good deal on both the sale of our old house and the purchase of our new one, and it makes for an easier commute for both my husband and my stepdaughter.

What can I do to make our son happier in his new home? --- MOVING BLUES

DEAR MOVING BLUES: Moving is often hard for young children, who have a limited experience with the concept of “home.” Heck, moving is hard at any age. At least as adults, we can balance missing the old with the novelty and rewards of getting to know an unfamiliar area.

It’s going to take some time for your little one to feel at home in your new house and neighborhood. Perhaps doing a little exploring with your two-year-old co-pilot will help him get excited about what’s available in his current environs. He may be fascinated by such simple adventures as a visit to a local pet store or even the closest supermarket. Libraries near you are possibly hosting story times or other young children’s programming that he could enjoy. And there’s always that most basic, yet useful location for both parents and children to meet people and maybe make a friend or two — the neighborhood park or playground.

Once your son has a chance to find a life of his own in your area, hopefully things will fall into place, and he’ll be happier and less stressed — and so will you.