Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son and daughter-in-law hosted their first big formal dinner party for important business connections. They wanted to impress, and they only have basic daily dishes and nearly no serving pieces.

Not that what I have is all that special, but it is a little fancier than what they have, so they asked to borrow a set of plates, a platter, and two serving bowls.

The day after the party, they returned everything, and when I was putting it away, I noticed a sizeable chip out of the platter, which I know for certain was not there before. Neither my son nor my daughter-in-law mentioned it, and that bothered me more than the damage. It is not an expensive or irreplaceable piece, but it would have been nice for them to fess up to chipping it.

I am not one to make waves, but the more I think about it, the more I become convinced I need to say something. Is it worth it, or do I just let it go? --- CHIPPED

DEAR CHIPPED: Dishes get damaged, and it’s possible that your son and daughter-in-law either didn’t notice the chip after they used the platter or simply assumed it’d been there when you loaned it to them.

If clearing the air is what you feel you need to do, I think I’d approach the topic more as an inquiry than an accusation. That would allow them a chance to give their side of the story.

Depending on how things play out, you may have all the information you need to help decide if you’d be willing to lend out your plates again in the future; not to mention, you might also walk away with some ideas about what to give the couple for future gift-giving occasions.

DEAR READERS: Last year, most of us experienced a holiday season like no other.

We’ve come a long way since then, and this time around there’s a better chance to celebrate in most of the traditional ways we’d come to expect before the pandemic changed so much for so many.

As far as we’ve come in 2021, we’re still not quite back to complete normalcy — whatever that may be. And so, please continue to use good sense and follow the recommendations put in place to help keep as many of us healthy and safe as possible.

While remembering those who suffered and continue to suffer from COVID, I wish my readers and those close to you all the best on this special day and beyond. I thank you for being part of my columns, and sincerely hope you have a good, safe, and happy Thanksgiving.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My dad has always been afraid of going to the dentist. He had a really bad experience when he was a kid and the dentist drilled around a deep cavity before fully numbing the area. It didn’t help that his father was a “tough guy” who made my dad feel weak for complaining, even about something like feeling pain in a dentist’s chair.

He has been experiencing some pain in his mouth near one of his molars. Neither he nor my mother can remember the last time he went for even a routine cleaning, and now she and I are worried he could be developing a serious problem in his tooth or gum. I’ve talked to him about sedation dentistry, which several of my friends use, and even found three practices in his town that take his insurance, but that hasn’t been enough to get him to make an appointment.

What else can my mom and I do to convince my stubborn dad that his health is at stake if he does nothing about his pain until it becomes a crisis? --- DAD HATES DENTISTS

DEAR DAD HATES DENTISTS: Your dad is far from alone in his fear of dental work, and his early unfortunate experience makes his reluctance even more understandable.

I agree that in your dad’s case, sedation dentistry may be a wise solution. Perhaps one of your friends who has gone that route would agree to share their experiences with him. It might also help if he’s able to arrange a consultation with one of the dentists you located who practices sedation dentistry. Having the chance to discuss his feelings and ask specific questions of an established dental professional could be the key to easing his anxiety and getting him in for appropriate treatment before, as you fear, what starts as a relatively small problem becomes a complicated one.