Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR READERS: On January 1, 2019, back before the pandemic and historically divisive events touched nearly everyone, I asked readers to share their New Year’s Resolutions. There was a variety of answers, with the most common comments centered on a reluctance or flat-out refusal to make any at all.

While I too have mixed feelings about New Year’s resolutions, I do believe it’s vital to set goals for myself, even if they’re as simple as what I need to get done by the end of the day.

I also think it’s good to take stock of how the outgoing year went overall. Sometimes I’m left with the impression that the preceding 12 months offered the same-old-same-old, others have changed my world forever.

So, as we prepare to welcome 2022, along with my sincere best wishes for a healthy, happy, safe New Year to all, I’m asking you to please share your reflections on 2021 and/or your goals, aims, resolutions — or whatever term you choose to use — for the next 365 days.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My then boyfriend and I eloped in early November, mostly to avoid a big expensive fuss. But both sets of parents now want to have a celebration anyway.

My husband and I agreed to a simple dinner or family get-together, but every time we talk to one of the moms, it sounds like it’s getting to be a full-blown wedding reception sometime in the spring.

What can we say to convince them this is NOT what we want? --- LIKE IT LOWKEY

DEAR LIKE IT LOWKEY: Getting married is one of the biggest events in most people’s lives, and it’s understandable that those who care about you and your new husband will want to find some way to celebrate your making it official.

Since you’re set on keeping it simple, it may help to give concrete counterproposals to the full-blown affair. Perhaps you can all compromise on a simple backyard party, or as you already mentioned, a nice meal at a local restaurant that can accommodate a dinner party consisting of a few close relatives and friends. Don’t be vague about locations, date, guest list, preferred menu, etc. That way you’ll be making it clear you intend to have a real say in the festivities.

Another tactic is to let your families know you’d rather have a cash gift that will help you in the future, instead of a big party now. No guarantee it’ll work, but it’s worth planting the seed asap.

‘Tis the day before Christmas and in many a house, there’re yet plenty of pre-holiday fires to douse.

Last minute shopping is nearly done, and children are awaiting tomorrow’s big fun.

There are those who must work, and those on vacation; some feel dread, others high expectation.

All over the world joy and hope are stealing, but plenty are struggling, in true need of healing.

Lest we forget the greatest gift of these days, please stop, and remember those in need in countless ways.

A few bucks in a red bucket, a kind word, or a prayer, might just remind someone there are those who still care.

And to all my good readers and to those you love most, I raise a cup of low-fat eggnog and offer a toast.

Be healthy, be happy, be of good cheer, for Christmas Day is nearly here!

Merry Christmas!