DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I often watch our grandchildren after school, especially when their parents travel for work or pleasure.

Last week our 13-year-old granddaughter was at a “friend’s” house and the friend’s mother came home to find the girls drinking hard liquor from the usually locked liquor cabinet. It would appear that the girl got hold of the key and had a copy made.

Because our granddaughter didn’t want her folks to know what happened, she gave the friend’s mother our phone number to call when she asked for her parents’ number.

My son and daughter-in-law are not super strict, but I can just imagine what they would do if they found out their 13-year-old daughter was drinking hard liquor.

My husband and I both gave her a chewing out and stern talking to, and I think it should end there. But my husband strongly believes we should tell our son and his wife what happened. I think that will at the very least prevent our granddaughter from ever trusting us again, and at the worst, make her hate us.

Do you think it’s better to let her have us in her confidence, and just make it clear that the next time we tell her parents, or do we go ahead and tell them what happened right now? --- DON’T WANT TO TELL

DEAR DON’T WANT TO TELL: While I can understand your desire to keep in your granddaughter’s confidence and good opinion, I also believe her parents should know what happened and be given the opportunity to deal with this issue as they see fit. Think how you’d feel if the same thing had happened with your son when he was a kid. Wouldn’t you want to know?

You’ve already reprimanded your granddaughter, so she knows you’re not pleased with her actions. She may already be seeing you in a different light, not as the ever-indulgent grandparents, but as adults who are part of the team helping raise her.

DEAR READERS: About this time last year a column ran responding to a query from grandchildren about what to get their ailing grandparent for the holidays.

Many readers offered wonderful, thoughtful, and inspired suggestions adding to the ones provided in my response. The ideas they presented were ones they had seen succeed for someone in their lives.

One reader sent me an email with the solution she and her family came up with for a relative living alone, which also works for someone in a care facility, and which struck me as a good one to share. Depending on the loved one’s situation, the distribution of the daily gifts may rely on the help of the care facility’s staff, but the reader who submitted the gift plan found it to be a highly workable one.

Thanks to JT and her family for sharing this suggestion, and I ask that as you did last year, please feel free to also share some of your own gift success stories. Like many of my readers, I too have a dear family member in a care facility, and know firsthand the challenge of figuring out what’s just right to make her holidays brighter.

DEAR ASK SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Make a 12-days basket filled with 12 wrapped gifts, numbered 1-12. We usually start 12 days before Christmas, but you can start on Christmas Day or anytime during the holidays.

Day one can be a small Christmas decoration to go in their room or on their door. Other ideas include favorite snack items if there are no diet-restrictions, footie-socks with non-slip grips, a new family photo, a warm throw, etc. Also, if your family is local, arrange for a different person to visit every day — what a treat to look forward to, even if the visits are short in duration.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Earlier this year my wife started taking anti-depressants. She had been on them before, when she was a teenager and had had a bad time with a bunch of bad things happening at once. She began gaining weight back then, and took herself off the meds and hasn’t taken anything since then until now.

She had a major health scare this summer and that triggered her depression and anxiety, and the family practice doctor we see started her on new meds.

Now my wife is gaining weight again. She is exercising, watching what she eats, doing everything you’re supposed to do, but she has still gained nearly 30 lbs. in the past few months. I keep telling her to talk to her doctor about changing her prescriptions, but she says at least she isn’t depressed anymore, but I am afraid the weight gain is going to make her depressed all over again.

What can I do to help her realize she needs to do something before the weight becomes its own problem, both for her physical and mental health? --- NEEDS HELP WITH MEDS

DEAR NEEDS HELP WITH MEDS: While a primary care physician, especially a good one, is a right place to start in dealing with mental health issues, perhaps it’s time for your wife to talk to her family practitioner about exploring different medication and non-medication treatment options, and whether or not she would benefit by augmenting her care with the addition of mental health professionals such as a psychiatrist and/or therapist.

From what I’ve seen, a team effort can often succeed better than pursuing a single avenue of treatment for mental health concerns.