Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Recently our youngest sibling — of five children total — graduated high school. This marks the end of a long chapter in their life, as well as an even longer chapter in our mother’s life.

Our mom has selflessly spent the last nearly three decades of her life taking and picking her children up from school(always on time too! We were never tardy!), attending awards ceremonies, promotions, graduations, sports, extracurricular activities, school plays, parent-teacher conferences, open houses, musicals, and all the other school events that we participated in.

Our mother has devoted so much of her time, love, attention, care, and lifetime to her children, never asking for anything in return.

Needless to say, we are so incredibly grateful, and we truly could never thank her enough for everything she has sacrificed and done for us. We wouldn’t be where we are today nor made it through school without her. We are beyond proud to call her our mother.

We know this isn’t a question, but we wanted the world to know that this incredible woman exists and has generously given so much of herself to improve the lives of her children.

We love and respect our mom in immeasurable amounts, and we just wanted to take this space to give her the special recognition that she truly deserves!

Thank you, Mom. We’re eternally grateful for ALL that you’ve given us throughout these years. We hope this next chapter in your life brings you all the joy and excitement that you deserve!

We love you so very much!! --- DWARBLERS RULE!

DEAR DWARBLERS RULE!: Thank you for your loving tribute to your mom and all she’s done for your family over so many years.

She’s indeed entering a new phase of life, one filled with its own challenges and rewards.

I wish her and your family well, and encourage you to keep an eye on her during what promises to be one of the biggest transitions of her life. It’s not the easiest to make, but it sounds like she’s got plenty of support, should she need it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: By the time my second child was in kindergarten, I was a single mother of two, who had to go back to work fulltime to support our family with next to zip help from my ex, who eventually fell off the map altogether. The last time I heard anything about him was he had moved overseas with his new wife and was sponging off her family.

So, you could say I didn’t have the best marital experience. The good thing that came out of my time as a single mom was that I learned to be extremely independent, and got really good at it. I didn’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of, or to have to wait around for when I had to make a decision.

My daughter has been married for just under two years now, and even though I love her husband like a son, it drives me absolutely beyond nuts when she refuses to do anything without having her husband be part of it.

I agree they should decide big things as a couple, but I have yet to see my daughter decide anything on her own, including the week’s dinner plans, without having to have her husband directly involved in the decision. She tells me how important it is that they decide things together, otherwise, “What kind of marriage will it be,” she says.

I may have the wrong idea about this, because I had no choice other than to make things happen all by myself, but don’t you think a competent adult woman should be able to and allow herself to call at least some shots all by herself? --- NEEDS HIS APPROVAL

DEAR NEEDS HIS APPROVAL: Just as your outlook is tempered by your experiences, so too is your daughter’s. It’s possible she perceived your having to handle so much by yourself as a burden you faced all alone, but one that she would rather share with a partner.

I suspect as time goes by, their lives get busier, and they build a little more experience with divvying up the responsibilities that come with the territory of being adults, they might yet develop more independence, or at least realize there are instances where only one decision-maker needs to be involved.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife has this idea that our 12-year-old daughter is going to earn enough through modeling to pay for her college expenses — all her college expenses.

The thing is that to be able to model on a more serious basis, she has been told she first needs to get braces, and the braces she and my wife are looking at are lingual braces to correct her bite and straighten her teeth and still be invisible so she can begin more serious modeling sooner.

These braces cost just south of $12,000 versus closer to $4,000 for the regular kind, and we have no orthodontic dental coverage at all, which my wife seems to forget.

I would rather put that kind of money into her college fund now and let it grow instead of gambling that our daughter — beautiful as she is — will make enough money to pay for college in six years when she graduates high school.

Who is right here, my wife and daughter and their blow it all on braces, or me with saving up the sure way and getting less expensive regular braces for a fraction of the cost and financing fees? --- WHAT’S WRONG WITH REGULAR BRACES

DEAR WHAT’S WRONG WITH REGULAR BRACES: My first thought is to wonder how much experience in modelling your daughter has, since at least some is implied in your letter.

From what I’ve read and heard, successful child/teen models can in fact do quite well financially, but it’s not a no-cost process in both time and cash in many cases.

One thing your wife and daughter might do that would help prove either your case or theirs, is to get more than one opinion from reliable professional model sources on whether or not a child with braces is at any real disadvantage in competing for modeling gigs.

If your wife and daughter learn there’s no real advantage in having the appearance of no braces, then I agree with you that the greater potential gain is in walking away with both the income from modelling and the cash saved by opting for the less expensive orthodontic treatment.