Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have always been a super homebody. I am married to a woman who is anything but, strange as that sounds. I have a small group of friends, she’s everybody’s friend.

This has long made for many awkward social situations, especially during the holidays when my wife wants to go to every party and I want to go to none.

This year we were invited to a huge New Year’s Eve blast of a party being given by her boss. She really wants to go, and I really want to spend the night with my parents and my favorite aunt and uncle, who I don’t get to see except for when they come in to stay with my parents for the holidays.

I am trying to convince my wife she should go to her party and let me head to my parents’ for the evening. It’s the perfect solution to me, but she says she feels like she’s not even married if I never want to go out with her other than to dinner and gatherings with my friends and family.

Is that fair, or is she being unreasonable — or am I? --- NO NEED TO PARTY BIG

DEAR NO NEED TO PARTY BIG: I, like you, am not a fan of big parties, and prefer quieter times and settings, so I’m with you there.

However, since the particular party you mention is being hosted by her boss, it might be a good idea to at least put in an appearance for your wife’s sake.

After shaking some hands and meeting a few of your wife’s coworkers and their significant others, you could beg off staying too long because of another commitment to visit with out-of-town relatives.

If your wife chooses to stay, then she’ll be able to indulge in her kind of entertainment, and you’re free to do your thing with your family.

It’ll likely mean you and your wife will miss that kiss at midnight, but perhaps the two of you can start a new tradition of welcoming the New Year not at the stroke of 12, but on January 1 instead.

DEAR READERS: It’s nothing I haven’t said before, and I can think of no more fitting day to repeat my thanks and good wishes to those who write to me, read these columns, and share their ideas, opinions, and experiences with me and their fellow readers.

May you and those you love enjoy health, peace, and joy now and in the New Year.

And if times are hard for you or someone you love, I sincerely hope things will improve. Please remember that even in this season that stresses a heightened sense of happiness, it’s more than okay to allow yourself to feel what it’s only natural to feel when life is painful and challenging.

Be safe and well, and if you find yourself blessed, share those blessings. That’s how we sometimes get to see them grow.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend doesn’t always get why I like to have certain things on hand, like all kinds of batteries, paint for touch-ups, odds and ends of lumber and plumbing accessories, some really good quality hand and power tools, and the such like. I got a lot of it from my father when he and my mother downsized to an apartment.

A lot of the stuff I now have in our garage came from his father’s basement workshop and it’s all in good condition, or I wouldn’t have taken over on it. Having what I might could use comes in handy when there’s a repair to be made on our place or a friend’s or my girlfriend’s own mom’s. So she knows it is more than just a lot of junk.

Most of what I’ve had cause to fix is still in use, so that’s saying something about how being what she calls a packrat can come in handy.

She told me she wants to start using some of the garage for some furniture she’s getting from her great-aunt’s estate. The house we’re renting is too small for it, but we are planning to get something bigger and of our own before we get engaged next year.

She told me I have to get rid of some of what she calls my “junk,” but I most decidedly do not think it’s junk, and neither does she when I fix something at our or her mom’s house.

Do you think she should be able to make me dump my stuff just so we can make room for what we can’t use right now any more than I can use some of what I have laid by? --- MY STUFF’S USEFUL

DEAR MY STUFF’S USEFUL: Like you, I fully understand the value of having items in reserve for when they’ll be needed.

However, I’m betting that your girlfriend sees her great-aunt’s furniture in precisely the same light as you see your own stockpile.

I believe the two of you need to find ways to compromise on how you use your limited garage storage space. It may take some finessing and strategizing, but I’ve found you can often fit more into a space than you think if you do it carefully and creatively.

Since you’re looking at the possibility of moving to a larger home next year, it mightn’t be a bad idea to check out local storage rentals. Even a small unit could make a difference in the amount of space you need in your garage between what you and your girlfriend want to hold onto for now.

These are suggestions for a temporary fix. If you two are planning on making a life together, like most successful couples you’ll soon learn compromise is key. The way you work together to solve issues like the one you and your girlfriend are facing right now may possibly set the course for your future as a couple.