DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My pastor gave a sermon the beginning of this year urging everyone to make at least one New Year’s Resolution for 2024.

Perhaps stupidly, I made three. One was to lose weight (check, I lost 15 lbs., which have stayed off). The second was to work on my spiritual wellbeing (a little less successful on that one, but I’m still working on it). The third was to expand my social network in real life, not just in the virtual world.

This last one has been a failure in most respects. I did connect with a few guys from work when we put together a company disc golf club, which in turn led to my playing in more tournaments both with people from work and on my own. But I can’t say there’s been any real connections beyond a shared liking for the sport.

I have come to the end of the year and feel like I have failed in keeping almost all the promises I made to myself in January. The one about making new friends bothers me the most because I feel it’s the one I made the least progress on.

Do people actually repeat their resolutions, or is it better to go in a different direction next year? --- MIXED RESULTS

DEAR MIXED RESULTS: I’ve certainly known of cases where people give unfulfilled resolutions another go, but I’m not sure why you’re feeling as if you’ve failed.

Statistically, the vast majority of people who make resolutions break them within the first few weeks of the new year. You, on the other hand, wrote that you already met your first goal and are working on the other two, neither of which are the kinds you can achieve overnight.

Wise men and women devote decades to enhancing their spiritual lives, and your growing interest in disc golf may eventually open doors to deeper relationships with other players beyond the bonds of a shared interest.

I believe you should give yourself credit for your partial success on getting through your 2024 wish list, and I’d encourage you to continue your efforts into 2025.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am beginning to worry about my boyfriend and his obsession with cocktails.

I like a glass of wine with meals and have a cocktail when out with friends. I see that as fine. But my boyfriend not only constantly collects recipes for cocktails, but he has started planning our weekends around distillery tastings and trying new drinks at local bars.

His birthday is in mid-January and he told me if anyone asks for gift ideas, he is mostly interested in building his home bar up so that he can mix more drinks. He sent me the link to a mixology class he wants me to help pay for as my gift to him. I heard him joking with his brother that maybe he can quit his job and become a professional bartender.

I don’t like when he says stuff like that. He is a smart guy with a job people would give a lot to have.

How do I know if this is just a thing he’s into right now or if he is getting too serious about his interest in mixing fancy drinks? --- MAKES ME NERVOUS

DEAR MAKES ME NERVOUS: I’m not the person to ask about your boyfriend’s true intentions. He is, and it may be time for you to discuss his interest in mixology with him.

People pursue all sorts of hobbies, and this might simply be one for him. Joking with someone about quitting their job to go pro in a field they like or admire is a far cry from their actually doing it.

Talk to your boyfriend about your worries. His response could give you what you need to figure out what his true intentions are.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I feel like I have been sent to social purgatory and I am not sure if I can correct the damage of someone else’s words.

I am hitting my fifties and have been with a social group of sales professionals, brokers, and such for over 15 years. Everyone is into boating and golfing. There has been quite a bit of drinking mixed into the sporty fun. Sure, I drank, but never as part of the late crowd. I work in a field where I cannot have a DUI. I would excuse myself saying that I need to let my dogs out and leave by 9 p.m.

Two years ago the unthinkable happened ‒ one of our friends was diagnosed with liver cancer and died after a very quick decline. No one knew she drank “that much.” This shook me up and made me examine my own behavior.

This year, two other friends have developed pancreas and liver problems. Recently, “Socialite Suzie” was giving me an update on their conditions. I told her that I am curbing my drinking because I want to live to enjoy grandchildren and, “We all need to do our best to stay healthy.”

Suzie reacted in shock that I was suggesting a link between alcohol and these illnesses. She asked if I was, “Blaming them for making themselves sick?” I assured her that I was speaking for myself.

Ever since that conversation people have been snubbing me. Folks who would have bounded up to give me a hug are giving me a stiff lipped smile and a wave. The guy with the pancreas issues recently pointed his finger at me at a business event. I am being excluded from holiday parties.

Should I retreat from social life? Confront Suzie? Go to AA to make friends who don’t drink? --- NO WORDS

DEAR NO WORDS: I can see how “Socialite Suzie” possibly originally misread your intention to cut back as a judgment on your ailing friends. However, after you attempted to clarify you were speaking only for yourself, “Suzie” apparently chose to hold fast to her take on your words and to go ahead and share it with your social circle.

It seems you’re getting an education in who your real friends are. The people freezing you out based on an erroneous interpretation of what you said aren’t showing you any loyalty or benefit of a doubt, but rather have decided to add their condemnation to “Suzie’s” ‒ no questions asked. That’s not how real friends should be expected to act.

While confronting “Suzie” could afford you some satisfaction, your next step might be just letting it blow over, accepting that for the time being this particular social circle is closed to you until someone else in it provides gossip fodder.