Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am curious to know from another mother how she would react to coming home from work or being out to find her teenage son in the backyard on a sunny day laying out in the sun on a chair fully nude ‒ being able to see it all, full view of his penis, pubic hair, etc.

If no one else is home do you ignore it and let him be, or scold him for just being nude? --- MOTHER OF A NUDE SUNBATHER

DEAR MOTHER OF A NUDE SUNBATHER: My first consideration ‒ after any potential legal issues over public nudity ‒ would be whether any neighbors or passersby are able to see into the yard. If so, your son needs to take into account that his nude sunbathing may not be as private a practice as he thinks it is.

The same applies if his being nude in the backyard makes you or anyone else living in your household uncomfortable. He started his session when no one else was home, but that’s not how it ended, and if he’s planning to make this a regular thing, he’d do well to have something at the ready to cover his more personal parts.

For those reasons alone, I don’t believe you should let it go unmentioned.

As to a scolding, I’m not sure if that’s entirely necessary. Given what I know of teenage boys, I’d bet the fact that his mother saw her not so little boy in the buff might just change his mind about getting that allover tan if there’s even a chance of future sunbaths being unexpectedly interrupted.

And PS – remind him to use sunscreen.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: With both sets of grandparents retired and living close by, what on earth could have made our daughter and son-in-law hire an au pair?

Up until they told us that was their decision, we had a perfectly working system covering the days both parents were out of the house.

We are all hurt and baffled. --- HURT BY THE CHANGE

DEAR HURT BY THE CHANGE: To avoid having this development turn into a wrench in your relationship with your daughter and son-in-law, I think it’s worth asking them the question you’ve sent my way.

Their decision may not be any kind of reflection on you and your fellow grandparents. The younger couple has their reasons for what they’ve decided to do, among which could be an assumption this is a good thing for the grandparents, a way to free up your days and enable you to enjoy your retirements more fully. But you won’t know if you don’t politely and calmly ask.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My male pattern baldness started becoming obvious in my early-20s. I turned 28 last year and have been shaving my head for two years.

The woman I am now seeing thinks it’s silly to shave my head. She thinks I should just let my hair, what there is of it, grow out. What she doesn’t seem to understand is that I feel self-conscious with a receding hairline topped with a bald spot.

She thinks once my hair is more visible I can start changing my diet and taking supplements and maybe even treatments to regrow my hair.

I doubt any of that stuff will work. My uncle and cousin both lost their hair early and tried everything from vitamins to surgery, and none of it took. I also tried a few things earlier on, which also didn’t do anything beyond cost me money and give me some uneven temporary regrowth.

I say it’s in the genes. She thinks I can fix it.

It makes me think she isn’t accepting me for who I am. Isn’t that how it seems to play? --- FINE AS I AM

DEAR FINE AS I AM: Either that or she apparently isn’t listening to what you’re telling her about how you’ve decided to deal with your hair loss.

If you’re at peace with your solution, which it sounds like you are, then that’s your best argument in the to shave or not to shave debate with your lady friend. It’s your appearance, your call, and it’s up to her to go with it or not.