DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and “Davy” have had this on-again-off-again thing going for almost as long as I can remember. Since she and my dad divorced, Davy’s been about the only guy she’s seen more than a few times. He even reminds me a little of my dad, except he isn’t a drinker, just a cheater.
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When he cheats on my mother he comes back to her telling her he figures since she won’t marry him, they don’t exactly have an exclusive thing going, and everyone tells my mom she’d be nuts to marry a guy who can’t keep faithful to her. Davy calls it a Catch-22 and he accuses my mom of keeping him in it and stringing HIM along.
Personally, I can’t stand the guy, but for whatever reason my mom seems to love him, at least enough to put up with his cheating. She says he comes back to her when he’s done with the other women, so he must deep down inside have real feelings for her.
I say he’s using her between his other women. I think I’m right and she should dump him, but how do I convince my mom that I am? --- DUMP DAVY
DEAR DUMP DAVY: You mentioned Davy reminds you of your father, which makes me inclined to believe your mother has her type, for better or worse.
If you and the others in your mother’s life have yet to succeed in convincing her Davy’s not the man for her after years of trying, I’m not sure if you’ll ever be able to.
Hopefully she’ll get tired of being Davy’s fallback gal and move on ‒ ideally to a different, better class of man.