Ask Someone Else's Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: This week has been rather interesting for me. I work in a medium-sized hotel and get along with everyone very well.

I recently made a bet with a friend on March Madness basketball because both my team and my friend’s team were playing one another in the tournament. The loser of the bet had to enter a bikini contest at a local bar, which is something neither of us would normally do but we both felt our teams would win and we had a few beers before making the bet, plus a lot of other friends encouraged our bad behavior in the moment.

Well my team lost, so I had to do the bikini contest. As part of the bet my friend got to choose my bikini and she chose a cheetah print thong bikini to my horror. In my best effort to make light of the situation I entered the contest.

After the contest, in which I placed third, I went back to the table some of my friends were at, but on the way back I came face-to-face with the entire upper management team at the hotel I work for! They were all laughing in a nice way and told me I looked great! Thankfully they are all women and they didn’t have any problem with the skimpiness of my bikini. But they have been teasing me ever since in a nice way.

Unfortunately for me though, word has spread around the hotel and some friends I work with tell me everyone at the hotel has been talking about me and calling me “The Cheetah” behind my back. Nobody thinks poorly of me or anything like that, but I can’t help but be a bit embarrassed by this whole thing and the attention I’m getting!

The bar posted pictures of the contest on Instagram and the one of me has gotten quite a few likes from some of my friends who work at the hotel, so I figure most people have seen the pictures.

Is this embarrassed feeling I have legitimate? Will it ever go away? Maybe I’m just taking everything too seriously as my friends tell me and it is not a big deal. I did have fun that night so maybe I’m just crazy, or maybe I need a new job? --- EXPOSED AT WORK

DEAR EXPOSED AT WORK: I can understand how the situation’s a bit awkward, but I don’t see any reason your decision to make good on your bet is anything to feel embarrassed about. Nor do I believe you need to hit the job market because of it.

From what you wrote it sounds as if your adventures in a bikini are being treated in a good spirit by most of your coworkers and the management team.

As for the people who are calling you “The Cheetah” behind your back, unless you have reason to believe their intent is malicious, there’s a good chance that they’re just playing into your new-found fame. And, as with most fame it’ll probably be fleeting and your coworkers will soon enough move onto something else they find amusing.

Hopefully, for you it’ll eventually become a fun and funny memory ‒ and a good reminder to perhaps make more careful wagers in the future.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A couple my husband and I are friends with since forever recently divorced. It was a sad enough situation, but now things have turned nasty with a custody war starting up over their two kids.

My husband and his partner have a small general law practice, which means they can and sometimes do handle family law cases. Our divorcing friends know that and both have tried to tap him to represent them, which I think is a really bad idea. Honestly, even if he refers one of them to his partner and the other to someone else he thinks will do right by them, I don’t see how this ends well because someone is going to feel like he steered them wrong if things fail to go their way.

We are both trying to be neutral in the divorce since we are good friends with both the husband and wife. Besides that, our kids and their kids are also good friends, and the whole thing is just complicated enough without my husband getting involved professionally. Don’t you agree?

My husband and I both know that his turning both of them down will cause some hard feelings. I know they trust and respect my husband, but there’s no way this ends well if he or even his partner takes on one of the spouses. --- NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT

DEAR NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT: I absolutely agree with you that your husband’s taking on either of your friends as a client in their custody battle would be a bad idea. I see how his giving specific referrals could also result in problems.

Perhaps his best bet is to sit down with both halves of the divorcing couple and explain his point-of-view and his need to stay uninvolved in their current legal actions.

Hopefully your friends will understand, if not now, then eventually when everything they’re dealing with is settled.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother-in-law tells me my husband was sleeping through the night by the time he was a month old. He told me he expects that our baby should be able to do that too and that I am not doing the right thing by not putting our six-week old son on a regular schedule.

I believe a newborn is going to follow his own schedule. He isn’t going to fall into line with his Daddy’s expectations just because he thinks he should.

Shouldn’t a baby be let to follow his own schedule? --- FOLLOWING NATURE

DEAR FOLLOWING NATURE: My experience with babies is that just like adults, no two behave exactly alike. Eventually it should be more possible and is most certainly a good idea to get him on a schedule, for his sake and yours. At six weeks, however, that’s likely a bit of an impossible mission.

I’d suggest you check with your pediatrician for recommendations on setting a schedule for your newborn. Online sources may give you general guidelines, but your baby’s doctor has a direct connection to you and your baby and ought to have insights specific to your situation.