DEAR ABBY: I'm a homemaker with two sweet little girls. As precious as they are to me, I have a problem that is preventing me from giving them the kind of life they deserve. I hate to leave my house. Anytime I have to leave the house I start sweating, my heart starts pounding, and by the time I return home I'm exhausted and can do nothing more for the rest of the day.

My girls are asking to go to parties, have me volunteer in their classrooms, and they want to join Girl Scouts. I don't know what to do! I want them to experience all of these things, but the thought of how I'll have to leave the house and all the people I will have to meet and try to converse with brings me to tears. I don't want my anxieties to rub off onto my children. What should I do? -- HOMEBOUND IN ANDERSON, CALIF.

DEAR HOMEBOUND: Call your doctor and have a frank conversation about how stressful it is for you to leave the house and interact with people. Then ask for a referral to a mental health professional who treats panic and phobic disorders, because it appears you have at least one.

Fortunately, problems such as yours are treatable -- but in order to get the help you need, you will have to ASK for it. Make it your first New Year's resolution.

DEAR ABBY: At a recent social gathering I was taking digital photos and handed my camera to a friend so she could view the last shot.

She then proceeded to scroll backward through a large number of previous shots I had taken, most of them from other events. She even questioned me about one of them.

I think what she did was uncalled-for and intrusive. What do you think? I have since dumped the camera's contents onto a computer and purged them from my camera. -- ROBERT IN PORTLAND, MAINE

DEAR ROBERT: Those must have been some "hot" shots to have elicited such a strong defensive reaction. If you didn't want your friend to see the pictures you had shot previously, you shouldn't have handed her the camera.

DEAR ABBY: I have been keeping company with a man for the past 10 years. Our spouses are deceased. He sometimes receives invitations to weddings, parties, etc. addressed only to him. Without consulting me, he will call and tell these people that if I am not invited, then he will not attend -- so they are forced to tell him it's OK if I come, too. I am very uncomfortable about these situations.

I feel that after 10 years my name, or at least "and guest," should appear on the invitation or I should not go. Because I don't want him to stay home, I usually end up going. What do you think about this? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Your gentleman friend's behavior is rude. Guest lists are usually limited for economic reasons. He should not be attempting to "blackmail" his prospective hosts. Many hosts handle situations like this by cheerfully telling the boor who tries it, "Sorry you won't attend. We'll miss you!"

I don't blame you for feeling awkward. My advice is not to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

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DEAR ABBY: I have only recently realized how unhappy my parents' marriage is. On the way home from a concert one night, my mom started crying and said how much she wanted to be with a man who could stay awake throughout a performance. Then she told me I should never get married. She said people "always grow apart." She has been saying it repeatedly over the last few weeks and has even had some of her friends tell me the same thing.

I began asking other people about it, and they all act like they're not happy in their marriages, either. I am now genuinely afraid to get married.

I am 18 and have just started dating a man you would consider marriage material. But I'm holding back my feelings because I'm afraid one day he might propose. Is "happily ever after" achievable anymore in a marriage? -- UPSET IN GRAND RAPIDS

DEAR UPSET: Your parents' marriage appears to have hit a rough patch. When your mother started crying after the concert, I guarantee she wasn't crying because your father couldn't stay awake until the end. She was crying because she was disappointed in him for something else.

While the intensity of feelings can fluctuate over time in a marriage, couples do not "always" grow apart. The fact that your mother's friends are echoing those sentiments makes me wonder what kind of a crowd she's surrounding herself with, because unhappy people usually attract other negative people.

While I know from experience that a lasting, loving relationship/marriage is possible, allow me to point out that the qualities that attract someone at 18 may not be necessarily the same ones you'll find important when you're older. That is why it's important that before you start thinking about marriage, you first establish yourself as an independent, self-supporting young woman and take your time before committing yourself to anyone.

DEAR ABBY: A former professor of mine was a good friend and very supportive last year when I was experiencing some personal difficulties. Recently I have heard that he has not been acting like himself. I was told he has developed a bad attitude, curses in class, and uses his degree to demean his students' opinions on topics. One of his current students told me he's surprised the professor hasn't been thrown out of class for his behavior.

This is not the same professor who helped me last year. It seems like his evil twin. I suspect he may be having some personal problems. Because of our previous professor/student relationship, I don't think I can get involved. However, because of the help he gave me when I needed it, I care and would like to offer support. Is there anything I can do? I want my friend back. -- STUDENT WHO CARES

DEAR STUDENT: While it might not be appropriate for you to reach out to your former professor directly, it still may be possible to get him some help. Tell the student who spoke to you that he and some of the other members of the class should talk to the head of the department or the dean about what has been going on and the fact that the professor may be in need of help. If the man is, indeed, having personal problems, his supervisor would be in a better position to see he gets it than you are.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please advise me what to do with a lot of really gorgeous women's apparel? I'm talking about top-of-the-line shoes, handbags -- everything you could imagine.

My mother left all of her things to me. I have already donated some to charity, but selling some would be nice, too. Any suggestions? -- VANESSA IN AUSTIN

DEAR VANESSA: Check around to see if there are any consignment stores in your area that deal in high-end merchandise. I am sure they would be very interested in helping you sell the items. With the economy down, many women are on the prowl looking for the kinds of bargains you have described. You might also consider offering them on eBay.

DEAR ABBY: My cousin "Stacie" and I have sons who are the same age. The boys love playing together and spending the night at each other's house. The problem is that Stacie and her husband fight all the time. They scream and curse at each other at the top of their lungs, and they do it in front of the kids. Her husband also screams at their son, calling him "stupid" and other things that are not fit for a family newspaper.

My husband and I do not want our son exposed to that kind of behavior, but I don't know how to tell Stacie that this is why I can't allow my son to stay at her house anymore. Any suggestions? -- STICKY WICKET IN TENNESSEE

DEAR STICKY WICKET: Yes. Host the sleepovers at your house. That way cousin Stacie and her husband can have more "private time" to continue their battles, and their poor son will have some relief from the emotional abuse he is suffering at the hands of both of them.

DEAR ABBY: A friend forwarded me an item she had read on the Internet. I have learned a lot during my 38 years of living, and think these important life lessons might be something you'd like to pass along to your many readers.

1. Respect others, even if they don't respect you. Later in life they may remember that respect.

2. Love with your whole heart. It may be broken, but you can't say that you never loved.

3. Treat animals with kindness, and it will be repaid to you a hundredfold.

4. Be honest with the people you love. Honesty really IS the best policy.

5. Admit your mistakes; it shows you are human.

6. Learn from your mistakes, but don't dwell on them. Negative thinking will only make you depressed -- and that's not good for you or those around you.

7. Tell your family often that you love them. You never know when it will be the last time you get to say it.

8. Never tell others that their dreams are stupid or dumb. Each of us is entitled to our dreams. Who are we to say they won't come true?

9. Realize that the only person you can change is yourself.

10. Be thankful for everything you have. Knowing you are blessed isn't arrogant or cocky if you're truly thankful for your blessings. -- JENNIFER IN COLORADO

DEAR JENNIFER: Thank you for sending this worthwhile item. I am sure my readers will agree that it has merit, take it to heart and refer to it when it's needed. I would only add that those people who respect themselves also tend to respect others; people who like themselves usually have more love to offer to others; and generosity of spirit, as well as material things, is what binds individuals and communities together.

To my Christian readers, I wish each and every one of you a very merry and meaningful Christmas.