DEAR ABBY: A childhood friend of mine died from cervical cancer. "Katy" died because she didn't go to her OB/GYN for annual Pap smears.

She was a beautiful, intelligent, talented wife and mother who was responsible in every other way. Katy simply couldn't face a pelvic exam because throughout her childhood she had been molested by her father. I know it's true, because her father molested me, too.

Katy's doctor told her that had it been caught in the early stages, her cancer would have been curable. She hadn't been to see her OB/GYN since her last child was born nine years before. Because of what her father did to her, she was unable to allow anyone other than her husband to touch her.

Abby, my friend suffered during the time between her diagnosis and her death. She fought to stay alive for her husband and children, whom she loved with all her heart. But in the end, cancer took her, and her family will suffer for years to come.

PLEASE remind every woman and sexually active teenage girl about the importance of a yearly exam. Those who feel they can't deal with the exams should force themselves to talk to their OB/GYN and explain their fear. Otherwise, the sexual predators win again. I think they should be held accountable for the deaths for which they are ultimately responsible. -- SICK OF MOLESTERS

DEAR SICK OF MOLESTERS: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your friend. She won't have died in vain if women of every age heed your message about the importance of regular pelvic examinations, which should start as soon as a girl becomes sexually active.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband, "Henry," for 25 years, and he refuses to call me by name. He doesn't call me anything -- certainly no terms of endearment. He just calls out or starts talking. He addresses our daughter's relatives, our neighbors and even our dog by name -- but refuses to say mine.

I have mentioned to Henry many times how deeply hurt and resentful it makes me feel. He admits it's a problem, but refuses to get help because "he doesn't believe in counseling."

I know things could be worse. I'm not abused physically, but I feel mentally abused. I find it hard living as a nobody. Can you give me an insight on how to cope with this? -- NAMELESS IN SOUTH NEW JERSEY

DEAR NAMELESS: What Henry has been doing is called "passive aggression." It's a pattern of behavior that can occur in a variety of contexts. In your case, it's consistently failing to do something he knows would please you, the absence of which he is fully aware is hurtful. He refuses counseling because he knows a counselor will call him on it.

This does not, however, mean that YOU shouldn't have some counseling. Once you have recognized Henry's behavior for exactly what it is, you must then ask yourself why you have tolerated it for a quarter of a century, whether there are other things wrong in your marriage and if this is the way you want to live the next 25 years of your life.

DEAR ABBY: Helping a parent or other adult relative handle their finances and health care can be a challenging gift to give. You want to honor their wishes and respect their boundaries, while at the same time acting in their best interest. But it can be hard to know where to begin and whom to trust, and you always wonder if you're forgetting something.

To help your readers carry out this important role, the Federal Citizen Information Center created the free Family Caregivers Kit. It features publications from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau that explain how to manage a loved one's money and protect seniors from scams. And it also contains publications from the FDA's Office of Women's Health to keep track of medications and learn to use them safely. The kit is full of practical tips that give caregivers the confidence they need to manage a loved one's affairs.

Abby, thanks for sharing the free Family Caregivers Kit. From one daughter to another, you know how important it is to stand up and support family members through life's challenges. -- SARAH CRANE, ACTING DIRECTOR, FEDERAL CITIZEN INFORMATION CENTER

DEAR MS. CRANE: Thank you for offering this important information to my readers. It is important because accepting this kind of responsibility should not be done without fully understanding what it will entail. The publications you sent to me -- and will send to my readers -- provide an illuminating overview of the responsibilities involved.

Readers, this year's packet is not to be missed, particularly if you have aging relatives or a friend who may need you to handle his/her affairs, even for a short period of time.

These booklets are offered free of charge and include the "Managing Someone Else's Money" series of publications, which cover Power of Attorney and Managing Trusts, Property and Benefits. They are written in plain English and are in an easy-to-understand format.

Also included is a pamphlet on using medications wisely. Did you know that 125,000 people die each year because they didn't take their medication as directed -- and many more get sick because they didn't properly follow the directions on the label? (I didn't.) Another pamphlet shares information on recognizing and avoiding health scams, so you and your loved ones can watch out for miracle devices and cures that really ARE too good to be true.

But wait! There's more ... You will also receive a copy of the 2014 Consumer Action Handbook, which contains not only information you need to make the best decisions about what you buy and the service providers you use, but also a sample complaint letter to help you get results.

To order this free kit, go to promotions.usa.gov/dearabby. You can also order the kit by calling 888-878-3256 weekdays 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time, or by writing: Family Caregivers Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009. Every household in the country should have this information on hand "just in case," so order a kit for yourself and more to share. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: May I sit in your chair and give some advice today? It's aimed at men who place ads on dating sites and then wonder why they can't meet "quality" women.

I'm an educated, decent-looking, middle-aged widow who has dated quite a lot through such ads and local social groups. Yes, it can be a jungle out there, but the Internet is a wonderful tool for bringing people together.

I live in a small town, and the pool of eligible men is smaller here than in metropolitan areas. That said, there are few profiles that attract my attention and that of my divorced/widowed friends.

Gentlemen, some pointers:

1. Smile! A dour expression is unpleasant.

2. We may want to see you with your shirt off after we get to know you, but it's not the most appealing or refined pose for a first look.

3. Be realistic. If you are Joe Average, we Jane Averages would enjoy meeting you. Are you REALLY going to hold out for a model who is a decade or so younger than you?

4. Be kind to the English language. You don't have to be a genius, but it would be nice to know you can competently communicate in writing.

5. Consider a shave. Some women like men with facial hair; the majority of the ones I know do not. About 75 percent of men over 50 have a mustache, beard or both. What are you hiding under there?

6. If you're married and miserable, for goodness sake, go for marriage counseling or get a divorce. But please don't deceive women who want to meet a nice guy to share life with.

In case you think I'm being too harsh, we gals welcome any suggestions from men who scroll through those female profiles looking for love. -- SURFING IN PETERSBURG, ILL.

DEAR SURFING: I'm printing your letter, and I'm sure the reaction will be interesting. The No. 1 complaint I've heard about Internet dating has to do with misrepresentation on both sides of the gender divide.

DEAR ABBY: My 83-year-old mother wants a tattoo! She loves classical music and has decided to have a musical note tattooed on her shoulder. Should I institutionalize her, or chauffeur her to the local tattoo parlor? -- SHOCKED IN GARDEN GROVE, CALIF.

DEAR SHOCKED: At 83, your mother is old enough to make this decision without your blessing. She also appears to be young enough at heart that she may not need the ride.

DEAR ABBY: I am being divorced and my oldest son is being married. My soon-to-be-ex-wife does not want my girlfriend to attend. This has put a great deal of pressure on my son and his fiancee.

I left my wife for this woman. I love her and would like her to attend with me. What is proper? -- DANNY IN DELAWARE

DEAR DANNY: Because your divorce is not yet final, leave your girlfriend at home. Her absence would be the most thoughtful and considerate gift you could give your son, his bride and your almost-former wife.