DEAR ABBY: At 18, I married my high school sweetheart. After 20 years of marriage and four wonderful children, my husband decided the grass was greener elsewhere, and we divorced. He paid no attention to my children or my grandchildren when they were young.

He has since remarried, has a child with his current wife and acts like he's Father of the Year. Last weekend one of my grandchildren got married. My blowhard of an ex brought a picture of himself, my son, my grandson and my great-granddaughter saying he'd had this picture taken of four generations of the family. He never mentioned that if it hadn't been for ME giving birth to our children, none of them would have even been there.

Am I overly sensitive to feel like a second-class citizen when we attend a family function? Must I continue to say nothing, or speak up? How do others handle this situation? -- CLUELESS IN THE EAST

DEAR CLUELESS: They handle it by choosing their battles carefully. I think it's important that you ask yourself why anything your ex says would make you feel like a second-class citizen. He appears to have moved on with his life more quickly than you have moved on with yours. Concentrate your efforts on expanding your horizons -- your interests and friendships -- and you will find anything he might say will be far less important to you. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a public school teacher with a word of advice to parents who wonder why their children misbehave, argue with them and act out with attention-getting behaviors: Put down your cellphones and pay attention to them!

I just finished a parent-teacher conference with a mother whose children argue, pout and scream when she tells them to do something at home. Her children are not disabled, nor do they demonstrate these behaviors in my classroom. Abby, during the entire meeting, that woman texted on her phone. How rude!

The next time I meet with someone who pulls that, I'll ask if she (or he) would like to suspend the meeting until their pressing business (pun intended) is finished. Maybe the parent needs to be embarrassed in order to realize how inappropriate texting or talking on the phone is when she (or he) is face-to-face with another person unless the other person says it's OK. -- HAS TO VENT

DEAR VENT: Vent away. I agree that what the mother did was disrespectful. It prevented you from effectively giving her information about her child that she needed to know.

As great a benefit as technology has been to society, it appears to also be a double-edged sword. By that I mean, while it fosters communication, it has kept parents from bonding with their toddlers and young people from learning to effectively communicate with each other face-to-face. The ultimate result of this is yet to be determined, but I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of people finding a balance so they can form healthy relationships. I hope your letter will serve as a wake-up call to someone who needs a reminder.

DEAR ABBY: I have a very toxic relationship with my older sister. I still live at home, although I'll be leaving for college in a few years.

Abby, she has been emotionally abusing me for years. It got so bad at one point that I considered suicide. I don't believe I would ever go through with it, but it scared me. She makes sarcastic comments about anything from my weight to what I want as my career. My parents never do anything about it.

I try to avoid her, but it's impossible because of the close living quarters. I don't know how to stop her. She has said she would stop before, but she doesn't, so I no longer believe she's sincere when she occasionally apologizes. -- BULLIED IN MY OWN HOUSE

DEAR BULLIED: Suicide is not the answer. Face it. Your sister is an unhappy individual who enjoys belittling others. She may do it because she's frustrated with her own life, or simply because she can.

The way to deal with people like her -- and there are many -- is to change the way you react to them. There is a saying that applies here: "Just because a jackass brays doesn't mean you have to take it to heart." The next time your sister makes a sarcastic comment, repeat that "mantra" to yourself and it may lessen the sting she's trying to inflict.

Remember, you won't always have to live with her. In the future, she may wonder why the two of you aren't close. When she asks that question -- and she may -- feel free to tell her.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, a friend asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding, which will take place a year from now. I accepted and forgot to write down the date. Weeks later, three other friends invited me on a two-week cruise of the Baltics. I accepted and proceeded to contribute to the pre-booking and group excursion fees, etc. These funds are not refundable. I realized later that the dates overlap.

Both the groom and cruise people are close friends from separate groups. My personal cost at this point is $4,100. What do you recommend I do? -- ALL BOOKED UP IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ALL BOOKED: Do the honorable thing and explain to your friends that when they invited you on that Baltic vacation you had already committed to being a groomsman in someone's wedding. Then ask if they can line someone else up to take your place. As to the money you have shelled out, suggest that the person who replaces you reimburse you some or all of the dough, and then keep your fingers crossed.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose 30-year-old son died suddenly from a brain stem tumor. On the anniversary of his death, I send her a "thinking of you" card to let her know that she is, indeed, in my thoughts.

The sixth anniversary of his death is approaching, and I'm wondering if I should stop doing this. I'm afraid it may cause her more pain than comfort. -- WELL-MEANING IN THE WEST

DEAR WELL-MEANING: Discuss this with your friend in advance, and ask her that question. I doubt that sending a card would be hurtful. She will always know he died on that day, and she may find it comforting to know that you not only remember it, too, but also want to reach out to her.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I married in our early 40s. I have given my all to her, but I have always felt underappreciated.

I always wanted to be a father, but she didn't want to have kids. After we were together for a few years, she changed her mind, so we decided to try for a child and were surprised to discover after only a week of trying that we were pregnant. A few months ago, we were blessed with our beautiful, healthy daughter.

My wife had difficulty with breastfeeding, so she decided to stop and solely bottle-feed. I have been supportive of her decision, but she still feels sad and guilty about it. I have done all I can to encourage and comfort her, but she just brushes me off.

I love my wife with all that I am, but I don't feel loved in return. Since we started dating, she has always called me "Babe." Now she calls me by my first name. I tell her I love her every day, but she hasn't said it back since the baby was born. She also doesn't say goodnight when she goes to bed.

We haven't kissed in almost two months. I receive no affection from her; she never even touches me. I don't care about not having sex, but she won't even touch my arm or try to hold my hand. I feel alone and lonely in my own home. What can I do to change things? -- HEARTSICK HUSBAND

DEAR HUSBAND: Tell your wife what you have written. She may be feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from taking care of a brand-new baby, or suffer from a common condition called postpartum depression. (It's sometimes referred to as the "baby blues" for a reason.) Urge her to discuss how she has been feeling with her OB/GYN because, with medical help, the condition is treatable. Please don't wait because the sooner this is dealt with, the better it will be for all three of you.

DEAR ABBY: I recently housesat for a friend and her family while they were on vacation because they needed someone to water their plants and take out their dog. Cleaning is a favorite pastime of mine, so while I was there, I did some tidying up. I did not enter any of their bedrooms and only did small tasks such as vacuum and mop the common areas. I genuinely thought I was being considerate by going above and beyond.

When they returned, they seemed shocked and even slightly offended, and made jokes about how I must think they are messy. At the time, it seemed fine, but I understand now it may have been misinterpreted.

Did I cross a boundary, and should I avoid doing this in the future? How should I apologize? I feel terrible for offending them. -- CLEANING'S MY THING

DEAR C.M.T.: Stop beating yourself up and ASK your friend if she was offended that you mopped and dusted while you were housesitting. If the answer is yes, apologize. And when you do, explain that you are somewhat of a "neatnik" and thought they would be pleased to come home and find fewer chores needing to be done. If she's truly offended, you won't be asked to housesit again, but I have a strong hunch you will be.