DEAR ABBY: I'm a widower who was very happily married. I have decided to re-enter the dating game. I met a very nice widow, and we connected. As I was lonely, it made a big change for the better in my life. The lady I matched up with is a wonderful, caring person, and we enjoy being together doing what dating folks do. We're thankful to have found each other.

She had met a man she enjoyed being with some years ago, but it was of short duration because he died. She told me they had a nice, but platonic relationship. My problem is how often she speaks about him. Something reminds her of him, and she wants to talk about it. I can understand that he might come up once in a while, but last month she mentioned him a dozen times. I don't think she does it to make me jealous, but I find it annoying.

I tried a few times subtly suggesting it would be better if she didn't mention him. I'm not sure she understands it could undermine our relationship. What to do? -- WORRIED WIDOWER IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR WIDOWER: Address this with your lady friend as frankly as you have to me. If she values the relationship she has with you, she will stop "raising the dead" in conversation.

DEAR ABBY: My sister did something that really bothered me. My niece (her daughter) took us to a restaurant she had heard was really good. In this restaurant, you order and pay for your meal first. My niece paid for all the meals, and we sat down at our table to await our food.

My niece had to leave the table momentarily before our order was ready. While she was gone, my sister said I should reimburse her daughter because she couldn't afford to pay for all the meals.

I have never mooched off anyone in my life. The $10 my niece spent is the only time I can remember anyone buying me dinner in my adult life other than on my birthday. My niece has a job that I know for a fact pays at least three times as much as mine does. She has several pets, and I'm sure she spends a lot more a month on pet food than the cost of my meal. I don't think my sister should have made an issue of it. What do you think? -- IRRITATED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR IRRITATED: I agree with you. You were an invited guest and, as well-meaning as your sister may have been, she should have stayed out of it. I hope you will overlook her poor manners.

DEAR ABBY: This past weekend I was walking at the mall and encountered a gentleman in a wheelchair. I was walking down a long, graduated slope as he was coming up. I offered to assist him, and he politely declined.

My question is, what is the proper thing to do when offering to assist? Is it rude, and is someone offended when offered a helping hand? -- JUST TRYING TO HELP

DEAR JUST TRYING: I don't think it is ever offensive to offer a helping hand. What can be counterproductive is when a good Samaritan does something without first asking -- such as grabbing the arm of a sightless person and attempting to help the individual across a street -- which can be not only frightening but possibly unnecessary.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, after 36 years of marriage, my wife suddenly died. Not quite a year later, my oldest son also died unexpectedly.

A year after my wife passed, I began dating, and last Valentine's Day I became engaged to a wonderful woman. Now my daughter, whom I was very close to, says she is done with me. On advice from my Christian counselor, I confronted her, and she gave me a laundry list of reasons. Most had to do with me not spending as much time with her. Although she didn't say it, I think the real reason is she thinks I'm being disloyal to her mom.

She says she wants me to be happy, but apparently only as a lonely dad and grandad. She has never met my fiancee, but my other son has. He likes her and is happy for me. My daughter has now blocked me from her social media accounts, where I could at least see pictures of my grandsons, and won't answer my calls or texts. The only way I can see them is at public events, like ballgames.

I asked her to see my counselor with me, but she refuses. Everyone says I need to give her more time and continue to pray. I've been praying, but it's been months now, and I miss my relationship with her and her family. It's like losing more family members. Abby, what else can I do? -- PUNISHED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR PUNISHED: Do not put your life on hold waiting for your daughter to relent and allow you and your fiancee into her life. I wish you had expressed more clearly what your daughter meant when she said you hadn't spent enough time with her. Did she mean after her mother's funeral, or that you spent less time with her than you did with her brothers?

Continue to remember her at Christmas and her birthday, but what you must do now is keep moving forward. Recognize that it's better to live your life on your terms rather than someone else's. Marry the woman you love. Enjoy the time you spend with her and your son and other family members who are happy for you and less manipulative than your daughter. Que sera sera.

DEAR ABBY: When a person is thoughtful enough to take a dish of food -- a lunch-type dish or dessert -- to the office, and brings metal forks to eat the food with, shouldn't the people partaking of the "gift" return the utensils so the person who brought them can take them home? Must I put up a sign at the table asking that all utensils be returned to me? What's the best way to handle this? It's really a problem in some office situations. -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: One would think that if someone brings metal utensils to a gathering that the recipients would have enough common sense to ASK if the giver wanted them returned. Because your co-workers don't seem to have common sense, the next time you bring food to the office to be shared, make the announcement or bring plastic utensils with you. That should solve your dilemma.

DEAR ABBY: My sister was married recently. At the reception, her new mother-in-law was seen by multiple guests gesturing with her two middle fingers while the father of the bride was giving his toast. It was a very formal event, and it was shocking to see an adult act like this. Our family feels embarrassed and insulted because we hosted the wedding, but our biggest concern is how can the bride move forward?

When the groom politely approached his mom about a week after the wedding, she refused to acknowledge it, insisted it was an "inside joke," and then gave him a long list of complaints about our family. (I suppose they were her justifications for her behavior.)

She refuses to apologize. I feel she should extend an olive branch and apologize to my sister and our parents, but at the very least make amends with her new daughter-in-law. It upsets me that she doesn't care about building a good relationship with my sister.

My sister was brought up to take responsibility for her actions. It's hard for her to move on when her mother-in-law refuses to speak of it. Should she really just act like nothing happened? -- SISTER OF THE BRIDE

DEAR SISTER: The groom's mother's inhibitions may have been lowered because she was intoxicated when she did what she did, and that may also be the reason she won't speak of it, even to her son. It's an embarrassment for their family, not yours. The woman isn't someone you will be forced to interact with often on an intimate basis. That burden falls upon your sister, who has my sympathy because it appears her M-I-L is going to be a handful. Please allow me to offer you some advice: Stay out of this and let your sister and her husband handle it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a daughter of a blue-collar father. I admire him greatly and am beyond grateful for all his sacrifices. He worked more than six days a week for 30 years to give us a nice life.

When I went to college more than 10 years ago, I took out student loans because my parents couldn't afford to help me financially. I still pay a large amount each month and I see it bothers my father.

I have told him many times how grateful I am for his sacrifices and that I manage to pay my student loans each month. However, I know it still bothers him. He keeps saying, "When I die, I'll take care of you." I don't want him to carry around this burden, especially since he's already done so much so we can live comfortably. How can I erase the guilt he feels about my school loans? -- CONCERNED DAUGHTER

DEAR CONCERNED: For your own sake, it's time to realize you cannot wave a magic wand and change the way your father feels. From your description, he seems like a wonderful man. Continue to express gratitude and respect for what he has done for you. Stop discussing your ongoing loan payments, and let your successful life be the proof of your father's diligent efforts.