DEAR ABBY: I have an awkward wedding conundrum I hope you can help me with. I am getting married in April and want to invite two co-workers with whom I am very close. One of them is married; the other, "Sara," is in the process of divorcing her husband. Sara was unhappy for years with her almost ex-husband, and we witnessed the deterioration of their marriage over several years.

About a year ago, while still married, Sara began an affair. She's still "seeing" this man -- sneaking out, meeting him on his lunch break, going to motels -- while she goes through the divorce process. She considers them to have been a couple for the past year.

I'm keeping a very tight grip on my guest list to control the costs. I don't want to pass judgment on Sara, but I don't think her situation at present qualifies as a true, committed relationship, which is the parameter I set when deciding who gets to bring a plus-one. I also don't want my wedding to be the event where she "debuts" her new man.

I know she will feel slighted because in her mind he's her boyfriend, and they are a couple. I have met him only once, but because they have been so secretive, he's a complete stranger to me. Sara may resent that I invited our other co-worker's husband and not her "boyfriend." Is there a way I can handle this tactfully? -- BEWILDERED BRIDE

DEAR BEWILDERED: If you invite one close co-worker's significant other and exclude the other, there are guaranteed to be hurt feelings. If you explain that you don't feel she is in a committed relationship (after a year!), you will get yourself deeper into hot water because she will be insulted. Believe me, if you do what you are considering, it's going to cost you far more than the price of two dinners.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 67-year-old woman. I've been single all my life but now wish I could find a companion to share my later years with. My problem is, I'm not interested in a sexual relationship. I have never been good at the physical part of intimacy. As a result, I've had limited experience and not much luck with men. When I was younger, I had a reasonably healthy sexual appetite, but couldn't seem to do "the act" right, although I enjoyed the prelude.

My idea of a relationship now would be with a kind, supportive man who likes to dance and enjoy life, but who's OK with no sex. Is this a reasonable expectation at my age, or should I just give it all up? I don't even know how I'd go about finding such a partner without fearing I'd have to prove myself and experience more loss.

Incidentally, I had counseling years ago about other issues, and the strong possibility arose about childhood sexual abuse, but it was vague and not resolved. -- WANTING THIS BUT NOT THAT

DEAR WANTING: I can't guarantee that you will find a partner, but there is a website for asexual people that offers a lot of information as well as a way to connect with the rest of the "ace" (short for "asexual") community. Its members call it AVEN, which stands for Asexual Visibility and Education Network. It can be found at asexuality.org. You and many others may find it helpful, and I wish you luck in your quest to find a loving relationship.

DEAR READERS: Well, contentious 2019 is at an end! Please accept my heartfelt good wishes for a happy, healthy and successful 2020. And if you plan to be out partying tonight to ring in the New Year, please be sure you have appropriate transportation arrangements and be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm a widower who was very happily married. I have decided to re-enter the dating game. I met a very nice widow, and we connected. As I was lonely, it made a big change for the better in my life. The lady I matched up with is a wonderful, caring person, and we enjoy being together doing what dating folks do. We're thankful to have found each other.

She had met a man she enjoyed being with some years ago, but it was of short duration because he died. She told me they had a nice, but platonic relationship. My problem is how often she speaks about him. Something reminds her of him, and she wants to talk about it. I can understand that he might come up once in a while, but last month she mentioned him a dozen times. I don't think she does it to make me jealous, but I find it annoying.

I tried a few times subtly suggesting it would be better if she didn't mention him. I'm not sure she understands it could undermine our relationship. What to do? -- WORRIED WIDOWER IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR WIDOWER: Address this with your lady friend as frankly as you have to me. If she values the relationship she has with you, she will stop "raising the dead" in conversation.

DEAR ABBY: My sister did something that really bothered me. My niece (her daughter) took us to a restaurant she had heard was really good. In this restaurant, you order and pay for your meal first. My niece paid for all the meals, and we sat down at our table to await our food.

My niece had to leave the table momentarily before our order was ready. While she was gone, my sister said I should reimburse her daughter because she couldn't afford to pay for all the meals.

I have never mooched off anyone in my life. The $10 my niece spent is the only time I can remember anyone buying me dinner in my adult life other than on my birthday. My niece has a job that I know for a fact pays at least three times as much as mine does. She has several pets, and I'm sure she spends a lot more a month on pet food than the cost of my meal. I don't think my sister should have made an issue of it. What do you think? -- IRRITATED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR IRRITATED: I agree with you. You were an invited guest and, as well-meaning as your sister may have been, she should have stayed out of it. I hope you will overlook her poor manners.

DEAR ABBY: This past weekend I was walking at the mall and encountered a gentleman in a wheelchair. I was walking down a long, graduated slope as he was coming up. I offered to assist him, and he politely declined.

My question is, what is the proper thing to do when offering to assist? Is it rude, and is someone offended when offered a helping hand? -- JUST TRYING TO HELP

DEAR JUST TRYING: I don't think it is ever offensive to offer a helping hand. What can be counterproductive is when a good Samaritan does something without first asking -- such as grabbing the arm of a sightless person and attempting to help the individual across a street -- which can be not only frightening but possibly unnecessary.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, after 36 years of marriage, my wife suddenly died. Not quite a year later, my oldest son also died unexpectedly.

A year after my wife passed, I began dating, and last Valentine's Day I became engaged to a wonderful woman. Now my daughter, whom I was very close to, says she is done with me. On advice from my Christian counselor, I confronted her, and she gave me a laundry list of reasons. Most had to do with me not spending as much time with her. Although she didn't say it, I think the real reason is she thinks I'm being disloyal to her mom.

She says she wants me to be happy, but apparently only as a lonely dad and grandad. She has never met my fiancee, but my other son has. He likes her and is happy for me. My daughter has now blocked me from her social media accounts, where I could at least see pictures of my grandsons, and won't answer my calls or texts. The only way I can see them is at public events, like ballgames.

I asked her to see my counselor with me, but she refuses. Everyone says I need to give her more time and continue to pray. I've been praying, but it's been months now, and I miss my relationship with her and her family. It's like losing more family members. Abby, what else can I do? -- PUNISHED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR PUNISHED: Do not put your life on hold waiting for your daughter to relent and allow you and your fiancee into her life. I wish you had expressed more clearly what your daughter meant when she said you hadn't spent enough time with her. Did she mean after her mother's funeral, or that you spent less time with her than you did with her brothers?

Continue to remember her at Christmas and her birthday, but what you must do now is keep moving forward. Recognize that it's better to live your life on your terms rather than someone else's. Marry the woman you love. Enjoy the time you spend with her and your son and other family members who are happy for you and less manipulative than your daughter. Que sera sera.

DEAR ABBY: When a person is thoughtful enough to take a dish of food -- a lunch-type dish or dessert -- to the office, and brings metal forks to eat the food with, shouldn't the people partaking of the "gift" return the utensils so the person who brought them can take them home? Must I put up a sign at the table asking that all utensils be returned to me? What's the best way to handle this? It's really a problem in some office situations. -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: One would think that if someone brings metal utensils to a gathering that the recipients would have enough common sense to ASK if the giver wanted them returned. Because your co-workers don't seem to have common sense, the next time you bring food to the office to be shared, make the announcement or bring plastic utensils with you. That should solve your dilemma.