DEAR ABBY: Forty years ago, a neighborhood boy fathered a child with a neighborhood girl. "Billy" was 17 at the time, and "Becky" was 14 or 15. Both were friends of mine. They were not a steady couple. She liked him, but I feel he used her. I heard that she married an older gentleman who accepted the baby, "Matt," as his own.

Ten years ago, I found Matt on Facebook. I told him I knew his mother, and he shared her contact information with me. When I called Becky, we enjoyed talking about old times, and I let her know that Billy had passed away. She informed me that her husband had also passed away.

I was surprised when she told me she never told Matt who his biological father was. He was raised believing his biological father was Becky's husband. I have photographs of Billy, and Matt has an aunt he is unaware of. As tempted as I am to inform him who his father was, I know that is not the right thing to do.

We don't communicate regularly, but Becky and I are friends on Facebook. I believe she's having health issues now. Abby, if she passes away, do you think I should let Matt know who his father was, share the photographs and let him know about his aunt? I think I'd want to know. -- OLD FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OLD FRIEND: If Becky's health problems are life-threatening, she's the person you should consider approaching. The question you should pose is this: Would she want her son to think he's all alone in the world after she's gone?

I do not think you should lay this news on Matt after his mother's death. His parents would not be there to answer his inevitable questions, and he would likely feel hurt and angry that he wasn't told the truth.

DEAR ABBY: My wife is an active member of her church, whereas I am a non-believer. It is, of course, her right to practice her religion and enjoy belonging to a community of like-minded people. The difficulty stems from the many hours spent every week above and beyond the services, such as prayer sessions, Bible study groups, etc.

I have begun to resent her heavy involvement in church administration that has nothing to do with worship, and the resulting lack of spontaneity in our relationship. To plan an activity or vacation, she needs at least two months' notice because of her never-ending, self-imposed commitments. This has increased over the years.

We have a large circle of friends, and our marriage has no other major issues. We try to find a balance, but it's not easy. What advice do you have for us? -- FAITHLESS IN FRANCE

DEAR FAITHLESS: Does your wife realize you are so upset about the imbalance in her relationship to the church and to you that you wrote to an advice columnist for help? By all means, tell her. The two of you are overdue for a serious discussion about the way she budgets her time, since you feel cheated. Begin that conversation now and, if necessary, involve a mediator.

DEAR ABBY: I recently found out that my 20-year high school reunion took place and I wasn't invited. I'm still occasionally in touch with several friends from high school and easy to find on social media. I did attend my 10-year reunion, although I may not have received an invite myself because I went as part of a group.

I wasn't very popular or close to the "in" crowd in high school, but I was social, albeit quirky. I'm sure it was a simple oversight, but I'm having trouble getting past this. I keep thinking about the trope of the loser in high school coming back to the reunion to shine.

Abby, I feel pathetic because I wasn't even asked. I'm not sure I could have gone because I have two babies at home, and we are still somewhat COVID-cautious, but it hurts not to have been invited. Any suggestions for how to stop feeling slighted? -- UNWELCOME IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR UNWELCOME: Think back. Did you sign up for the alumni association when you attended that 10-year reunion? I'll bet you didn't because if you had, they wouldn't have left you alone and you would be receiving appeals for money and current information. I am pretty sure your omission from the guest list was an oversight. To prevent it from happening again, all you have to do is be proactive about making sure you are included in the next one.

DEAR ABBY: My common-law husband and my daughter don't get along. Even though he is good with kids, she doesn't want him around her children. The last time we were at her home, he got upset with me. He demanded we leave and went out to the car to wait for me. (I had told my daughter we were staying for two nights; this happened after one night.) My daughter felt he was disrespectful. She was upset and asked me what was going on. I became upset and my granddaughters saw me crying, which got them upset. My daughter then informed me she doesn't want him around her kids again.

Now, a year later, my husband still will not acknowledge any wrongdoing, nor will she. I'm stuck in the middle. He has threatened that if I spend time with her, he will spend time away from home. I am not choosing him over my kids. How can I handle this? -- JUST WANTS PEACE IN CANADA

DEAR JUST WANTS PEACE: Handle this by stepping out of the middle. If you want to see your granddaughters, visit them alone. If your common-law husband follows through on his threat to spend time away from home, that would be the perfect time for him to do it. If you can't trust him while you take a little family time off, then you don't have much of a marriage -- common-law or otherwise.

TO MY READERS: The eight days of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begin at sundown. Happy Hanukkah, everyone. A joyous Festival of Lights to all of us. -- "LATKAS" OF LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: Three days before my daughter "Ginger's" wedding, her fiance called to announce that he could not marry her because she's bisexual. It's something he knew about for a year but waited until three days before the wedding to mention.

Needless to say, my husband and I were shocked, embarrassed and devastated. We had gone to a wedding with Ginger and her fiance the Saturday before her wedding date, and they were excited about their own wedding, talking about the home they were building and about having a baby. By the following Wednesday, it was over! She has reimbursed us for half of our expenses for the wedding.

Ginger has since been involved mostly with women who have stolen from her, treated her badly and lied to her. We no longer trust our daughter because we thought she was happily engaged, but she lied when she told us how happy she was and how great she and her fiance got along. We cannot accept the current situation, and our relationship with her is now very strained.

We told her to live her life but not to bring these women around. Since then, she has chosen to stay away. We miss our daughter but are not willing to accept this behavior. We don't think Ginger is even trying to gain back our trust. Please give us your best advice. -- LOST IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOST: Has it occurred to you that your daughter may be a lesbian who tried to appease you and her father by claiming to be bisexual? It is a blessing to all concerned that the wedding was canceled.

If you're a regular reader of my column, you surely must be aware that some women have dysfunctional "manpickers." In your daughter's case, she's having the same problem choosing her female partners. Rejecting her because you don't want "those women" around is not the solution to her problem. Instead, suggest she seek counseling at the nearest LGBTQ community center so she won't continue seeking love in all the wrong places.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I were excited to go on an $11,000 Caribbean cruise. His 22-year-old son was not that enthusiastic. We invited him to join us for dinner, shows or to play games, but the majority of the time he refused. The only time he'd join us was for events that were paid for in advance.

He called his mom, grandmother and girlfriend every night, but not once did he call his father's mother. To me, it seems like he's not interested in his father, grandma or me. The moment we arrived home from vacation, he bolted out the door to meet his girlfriend and slept at his mom's house. What can I do to bring this family together? -- SOCIAL DISASTER

DEAR SOCIAL DISASTER: Although at 22 your boyfriend's son is legally an adult, he didn't act like one on that trip. In fact, he demonstrated that he was uninterested and didn't want to interact with his father or with you. It is nice of you to want to bring him and his dad closer, but it's time for you to step back and let them work it out. Nothing you can do will fix this.