DEAR ABBY: Is it normal to be disgusted by your wife's lack of concern about her appearance and her belongings? My wife drives a $50,000 car that never gets washed and is so filled with "stuff" that seldom can she take even one passenger.

Her side of the bedroom is just as bad. She never makes the bed and can no longer get to her dresser because there are so many clothes piled in front of it. It's the same down the hall. In addition to plowing things aside or piling them in a spare room, her messes take over the house.

She also doesn't take care of herself. She often doesn't shower for days. Her clothes are frumpy, and I can no longer count how many pounds she keeps adding. It is embarrassing for me, especially when she proclaims she "will never be concerned about her weight again." I feel it's disrespectful to me when she says those things, and I can't let this continue. I am supposed to get used to it? It doesn't seem right.

Most of her time is spent listening to and reading about politics. Some would be OK, but she has dived so far down the self-righteous religious rabbit hole, she has no other perspective. She can't work. She believes she's some sort of activist because she forwards memes on Facebook. It amazes me that she can see neighbors who are older than she is have full-time careers and take care of themselves and their things and yet still believe she's normal and even judge others.

She does a few things for the church, where she can portray an upstanding image, and it's really important to her that they see her that way. I think she has a chemical imbalance of some sort and needs help, but how do you even start? If it wasn't so complicated, I'd move out. By not doing so, is my complacency making things worse? -- AT MY LIMIT IN TEXAS

DEAR LIMIT: Was your wife like this when you were dating? In the year or two after your marriage? If the answer is no, it is important that she be evaluated by a doctor because what you describe could be symptoms of depression or a mental or emotional problem.

The way I would handle this if I were in your place would be to tell her you love her, but you can no longer live the way things have become. Then offer her a choice: Get help, or you are leaving.

DEAR ABBY: I have been struggling with the loss of my mother, who passed away 10 months ago. She was my best friend and was always there for me when I came out as gay. When I married my husband in October 2020, she was so happy -- she actually gave me away. We lost her suddenly, and since then my life has felt dark and sad. I'm currently in therapy, and I have made some progress. But I am stuck wondering, is it normal almost a year later to still feel hurt and sad that my mother is gone? -- SAD SON IN INDIANA

DEAR SON: I am glad you asked. I am also glad you are in therapy. Everyone grieves differently, and it is not unusual for someone to continue to grieve the loss of a loved one after a year. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear mother. There are brighter days ahead.

DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with a man I met online. We texted and talked for months before we met. He told me he had a lady friend he goes fishing with. He said she was just a friend. On our first Valentine's Day, he gave me a teddy bear that said, "I love you." I started developing deep feelings for him, but he then informed me that he loves her.

I tried several times to walk away, but he kept pulling me back. I don't know if he doesn't want to hurt her or if he just loves having two women in his life. I know about her, but she doesn't know about me. Should I contact her and let her know? What is the right thing to do? -- TWO-TIMED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR TWO-TIMED: The right thing to do is to walk away from this person -- and stay away. He lied to you when he told you his fishing buddy was just a friend. Now that you know their relationship is more than that, run!

DEAR ABBY: My parents announced during their recent visit that they are planning to move here. Because of a laundry list of complaints, including them being snippy to serving staff in restaurants, my wife has decided she never wants to visit with them again. My inheritance from my parents is my only hope of being able to retire. What do I do? -- CORNERED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CORNERED: That the reason you won't tell your parents not to move closer is the inheritance you expect to get from them is sad, not only for them, but also for you and your wife.

Explain the facts of life to your missus and make clear that you expect her to show your parents the same respect you have shown to hers. She probably won't have to see them as often as you will, but she can't write them off entirely because of the financial impact it will have on you. Then cross everything you have two of that at the last moment they don't donate their money elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor "Doris" runs our neighborhood group that has in-person meetings once a year. She didn't have any meetings in person or even on Zoom for three years during COVID. Two weeks ago, she contacted me and asked me to come to the next meeting. I told her I didn't want to because at the last meeting I wasn't able to ask all the questions I wanted of city hall officials. Doris apologized several times and assured me it would not happen again.

Last week, I attended the meeting, and they had a sheriff's deputy speak. We were told we could ask questions, so when it was my turn, I began asking questions -- and Doris cut me off and censored me! I saw later that evening that she tried to call me, but I feel it would be redundant to have the same conversation with her. What do I do now that I have been burned twice by her behavior? -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

DEAR BEEN THERE: You have two choices. Either stop attending those meetings or, because you feel Doris is too controlling, oppose her leadership, run for that position (if you have the time to devote to it) and ask your neighbors for their votes. It may be time for the "winds of change" to blow through your neighborhood.

DEAR ABBY: After decades of research, I'm thrilled with the recent major progress being made in treatments for people who already have symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. I'm hoping that, one day, we will be able to prevent people from developing memory impairment and dementia.

Brain changes, including the buildup of a toxic protein into amyloid plaques, begin up to 20 years before a person notices any symptoms. This "asymptomatic" stage may be the perfect time to test treatments aiming to delay or prevent symptoms before they begin.

This is why we are conducting the AHEAD Study, an investigational trial of lecanemab, an FDA-approved medication for mild cognitive impairment and mild dementia due to Alzheimer's disease. The AHEAD Study is testing whether starting lecanemab in those with amyloid plaques before symptoms start can help prevent cognitive decline.

As a neurologist, a clinical researcher and someone who has seen Alzheimer's in my own family, I'm grateful we are seeing such progress in our field. But, Abby, we need help from your readers to test these promising medications before the devastating symptoms of Alzheimer's disease are apparent. Those interested in the AHEAD Study should call 800-243-2370 or visit AHEADstudy.org to help us get ahead of Alzheimer's. -- REISA SPERLING, M.D., PROFESSOR OF NEUROLOGY, HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL

DEAR DR. SPERLING: Thank you for your letter. Readers, more than 6 million Americans have Alzheimer's. Changing the trajectory of the disease before symptoms appear is an important scientific pursuit. Clinical trials hold the key to new and better Alzheimer's disease treatments.

Approximately 55,000 volunteers are needed for more than 180 clinical trials. In addition to the AHEAD study, the Alzheimer's Association offers TrialMatch, a free service that connects people living with dementia, caregivers and healthy volunteers to clinical trials. Clinical trial volunteers are key to better treatments, prevention strategies and a future cure for Alzheimer's disease. Visit trialmatch.alz.org or call 800-272-3900 to learn more.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is married with two kids. They live a few hours away. I love seeing them, but I have just one issue. She constantly corrects the way I pronounce words. No one ever mentioned it before she did. A lot of the pronunciations are how my family members and people in my state pronounce them.

She started criticizing me after she lived in three different states. It has reached a point where I dread seeing her. I feel self-conscious, and my self-esteem gets shot down every time I do. When I tell her it hurts me, she says I'm being "too sensitive." I don't know what I should do. -- HURTING OVER THIS

DEAR HURTING: People who make comments that hurt other people's feelings and then tell them they are "too sensitive" are rude and passive-aggressive. What you should do is tell your arrogant daughter to knock it off because you have had it.