DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Connie," is an angel. She takes care of her aging father as well as my sister, who suffers from Alzheimer's. This, in addition to her religious practices, consumes most of her time, energy and emotional resources. She often arrives home in the late afternoon or early evening stressed and completely exhausted.

An elderly and physically challenged neighbor has occasionally relied on Connie for help with little tasks. However, the woman recently suffered an event that requires her to have a great deal more help, and Connie feels "roped into" providing it.

I think that in light of Connie's prior family commitments, she shouldn't feel obligated to provide the extra help this neighbor now needs. I worry that these extra responsibilities will be detrimental to her health, and I have told her so. She acknowledges my position, but feels obligated toward this neighbor.

What can I tell my wife to make her realize that for her own sake, as well as the sake of the family for whom she provides care, she needs to determine her limits and priorities and resist yielding to additional cries for help? -- AT THE LIMIT IN OREGON

DEAR AT THE LIMIT: You are married to a rescuer. She continually puts the needs of others before her own welfare. You are not wrong to be concerned. At some point, Connie may very well burn out. All you can do as her husband is be supportive, remind her about the importance of taking care of herself (she won't be able to help anyone if she breaks down), and step in if it starts to affect her own health.

Rather than take on all of the day-to-day care for this neighbor, might it be easier for Connie to coordinate outside help to do it? It is a question worth asking.

DEAR ABBY: After attending a water aerobics class for three months, I have had it with the talkers in the pool. I'm not the only one annoyed that a handful of ladies disrespect the instructors and the rest of the class. They have been asked to quiet down by instructors and the other participants. There is even a sign on the door asking for limited talking.

These elderly ladies are oblivious to how loud and disturbing they are. Some have hearing loss and the acoustics in an indoor pool are terrible, so their voices just get louder and louder. I kid you not, two of them talk the entire hour, which makes it difficult for the rest of us to hear the instructor or the music very well.

They are kidding themselves if they think they are working out -- they just bob up and down and talk. Once in a while, they ask "What are we doing now?" because they are not paying attention. When these ladies start talking to each other, those nearby get distracted and can't work out, either.

Am I wrong to think that when a class starts, the talking should stop so everyone can participate in the class? -- SPLASHING MAD IN NORTH IDAHO

DEAR SPLASHING: You are not wrong. The instructor should tell these ladies they are being disruptive to the class and to confine their chatter to the changing room -- or, if they cannot comply, to leave the area.

DEAR ABBY: My brother recently called to tell me he had proposed to his girlfriend, and she happily accepted. While I'm glad he is happy, I'm worried about what to do if he asks me to be his best man.

While his girlfriend can be a nice person, they have a one-sided relationship in which she controls a lot of what my brother does. She always needs to be the center of attention at family functions and piles on the PDA toward my brother in public places.

I feel bad for him because he hasn't been in many romantic relationships and, to me, it just seems like he's settling. I may be jumping the gun on this -- maybe he won't ask -- but I really believe that the best man at their wedding should be someone who truly supports this relationship -- and that isn't me. Any advice? -- "WORST MAN" IN NEW YORK

DEAR "WORST MAN": Bide your time. Because your brother's fiancee is the one in control, she may be the one who decides who should be the best man. If she has a brother or a male cousin she feels close to, you may be off the hook. However, if you are asked, you will have to fess up and tell him about your concerns as diplomatically as possible.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 57-year-old single mom. All four of my children live at home. My oldest daughter is also a single mom, with two beautiful children. She's in college so she can get a good-paying job.

I have another daughter who is in her 20s and has intellectual delays. She lies around the house reading her phone or using her computer. She's very messy and refuses to take care of herself or help with household chores.

A third daughter is also in college, but she lives in a dorm. When she's home, she's also kind of sloppy, and my son is beyond messy. There's trash and dirty dishes all over his room. If I say anything, he ignores me. What would you do? -- MESSED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MESSED UP: You have created this monster of a problem by failing to assert your authority as a parent. What I would do is something you should have done at least 15 years ago: Tell the "children" what is expected of them, and what the penalty will be for ignoring you. Then, if they don't shape up, show them the door. You have given your children everything except the incentive to take care of themselves.

DEAR ABBY: I love animals and currently have a flock of chickens, all hens. I care for these girls, and in return I get wonderful fresh eggs. I live in a right-to-farm community, and I'm considering getting a rooster to give the girls some excitement. The problem is, roosters crow, I have neighbors and I'm not sure if they will be upset with the crowing early in the morning. Advice? -- WAITING TO CROW IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR WAITING: If you think the hens will become excited when you adopt the rooster, imagine the stir it will cause among your neighbors. Ask them first, unless you want the feathers to fly.

DEAR ABBY: My ex has primary custody of our young daughter, "Kayli," and is with her 99% of the time. I have Kayli every other weekend. Her mom has been dropping her off with a bag filled with wrapped presents. These presents are marked by day and hour. Along with the presents, my ex has created multiple alarms in our daughter's phone to let her know it's time to open the presents.

I have asked her to stop doing this, as it is a huge distraction and disruption that interferes with my time with Kayli. On multiple occasions when my daughter and I are eating dinner, her alarm goes off and she gets up and leaves the table to open a present from Mom. Sometimes, she'll delay leaving the house if she knows it's almost time to open a present.

Sometimes, I turn off the alarms and silence Kayli's phone because if she's not reminded about them, she doesn't care about the presents. However, what also happens is that Mom will text or call our daughter to see if she has opened the presents. She has refused to stop this practice and replied by saying she will continue because it makes our daughter comfortable.

Kayli has been visiting my house for 10 months. This practice only started three months ago when my ex and I finally settled on a custody agreement. Besides turning off the alarms and silencing her phone, is there anything I can do to limit Kayli's mom's interference during our time together? -- DISRUPTED IN THE EAST

DEAR DISRUPTED: There is plenty you can do. Contact your lawyer and put a stop to her intentional sabotage. Your ex is trying to prevent you from building a close relationship with your daughter, and it isn't healthy for you or for Kayli.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Buddy," did some HVAC work for some friends of ours. We live in California, where it can get super warm. My husband paid upfront ($600) for the expenses. He sent them an invoice, and the husband replied, "No worries, Buddy. I'll reach out to you next week."

It has been four months -- and still no payment. I know my husband should not have waited this long to collect, but the couple had just bought a house, so he was trying to be sensitive to their money situation.

A few weeks ago, he sent another message with a reminder and a similar response came back: "No worries, Buddy. I will come see you Monday." Well, Monday has come and gone and NOTHING. No one wants to fight or go to court about this, but how can friends do that to other friends? Can my husband still ask for the payment? Or should he just write the money and the "friends" off? -- SHOW US THE MONEY!

DEAR SHOW US: This appears to be another example of "no good deed goes unpunished." Now that you know these "friends" lack character, cut your losses and write them (and the debt) off. Unless you have something in writing proving they owe you the money, I don't think you stand a chance in court.