DEAR ABBY: I suffered an injury that caused internal bleeding, which then gave me iron deficiency anemia. I was battling its symptoms of depression and anxiety before I was diagnosed. Never having had any mental health struggles in my life, I had no idea what was happening to me. I was happy and calm my whole life until this medical condition changed my behavior considerably.

My wife of 20 years left me. I was diagnosed with the iron deficiency anemia after she had left. After the diagnosis, I was able to stop my blood loss and cure the anemia. Its symptoms went away, and I returned to my normal self.

I was sure my wife and I would reconcile after my diagnosis, but she says I was using the illness as an excuse for my behavior. She doesn't understand it was the cause. She mistakenly believes I am permanently mentally ill. She doesn't understand that these symptoms went away once the illness was cured. She says it brought out my true personality, which is not true.

My wife and family are my whole life. I didn't get this medical condition on purpose. We have a 4-year-old daughter I am a great father to. My wife is throwing away our family and trying to take my daughter away from me because I had a curable illness, which I no longer have. How can I get her to understand what happened and save our family? -- SADDEST MAN IN THE WORLD

DEAR SADDEST MAN: You can't force your wife to reconcile, but it would be beneficial to both of you to consult your physician so he or she can explain the reason for your personality change and assure her the problem is not permanent. If that doesn't help, then you will have to accept that the marriage is over for the most tragic of reasons and go on with your life. I am so sorry for your predicament.

DEAR ABBY: My husband died two years ago. It has been a struggle, but we are making it. I have two sons. One is on his own; the other is in middle school. I want to move back to my hometown, but my son wants to stay here with his friends and go to the local high school like his brother did. I don't have anything holding me here besides my job.

I am so sad and depressed. Moving back home with friends and family closer would be better for me but maybe not better for him. Losing his dad has been really hard on him. It will be four years before he finishes school. I just want to be a good mom. Please advise me. -- NOT SURE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR NOT SURE: Do not move your son while he is in his last year or two at the middle school. By then, cliques have formed, and he may find it difficult to fit in at the new school. The time to make that move would be the summer before your son's freshman year of high school, because at that time every student will be entering a new environment and be on more equal footing socially. It couldn't hurt to discuss this with a counselor at your son's school and ask for suggestions.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married three years, and we generally trade off spending holidays with each of our families. Because neither set of our parents is willing to travel to us, we go to them.

My mother-in-law takes great pride in hosting and sets a beautiful table. She'll spend an entire day in the kitchen, forgoing visiting with guests and wearing herself out to present an amazing dinner. If this brought her pleasure, there wouldn't be a problem. But, Abby, she complains bitterly about how tired she is, how much her feet hurt, how much work it is to have people in her home and how she resents it.

The thing is, she won't let us help. I've offered each time to help her cook, bring dishes made ahead of time or take a turn so she can sit down. Each time I have been sternly rebuffed, as if I've asked something embarrassing. When I tried leading the cleanup crew, her response was a hard no. I even suggested I come a day early and help with prep work, also no. I'm pretty sure she tells her friends she has lazy kids. Suggestions? -- BAFFLED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BAFFLED: Your mother-in-law appears to love to suffer. She is a martyr, so please stop attempting to deprive her of her pleasure. Try as you will (and have), you can't change her. Of course, you and her son could offer to take her and Dad OUT for a lovely dinner. If you haven't already experienced enough rejection from the woman, you could give it a try. But don't be surprised if she refuses the offer or takes this personally. What she may say to her friends about you should not affect you.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like your opinion regarding the financial help I give my sister. When her husband passed 18 months ago, it was clear she needed some help each month. I've been sending her $200, which I can afford for now. (My husband and I are on Social Security.)

Eight months ago, she took in an old acquaintance for the purpose of collecting room rent. Turns out he can't or won't work, and she is supporting him now as well as sharing her bed. Also, their past relationship was disastrous. Both of them were alcoholics at the time. She has now resumed drinking with him, after having quit a few years ago.

Abby, I don't want my dislike for her lifestyle to impact my financial help, but on the other hand, I feel I'm being taken advantage of. Should I keep sending her money? -- SOUR SISTER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SISTER: Have a talk with Sissy. Tell her you have been sending her money because you felt she needed it after the death of her husband. Then remind her that she has a new partner in her home, her life and her bed, and he should be contributing -- which is why you will no longer be sending her money. She needs to hear it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who came out late in life. I have three grown, married children and five grandchildren. They are my world, and we are all very close. I've had one partner. My family readily accepted and welcomed him because he made me happy. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.

I have been seeing another person, and our connection is very strong. We have lots in common. I think I'm falling in love, and I envision a future with him. He is HIV-positive. I am on PrEP, or preexposure prophylaxis, the most effective medication to prevent contracting HIV. We have not been intimate, but I'm aware of all the literature about the extremely low risk of transmission.

My kids are bright, intelligent and "enlightened." I wonder if I should tell them about my boyfriend being positive. A part of me says that's his truth and he should tell them if he feels compelled. I will not reveal it without his approval. Another part of me says it's not my children's business because it applies only to intimate situations. But I've always been completely upfront with my kids about practically everything.

So now I'm torn about what to do -- tell them (or he tells them) and risk getting a negative reaction, or I keep it a secret, no matter how uncomfortable that is for me. Please advise. -- HOW HONEST IN THE EAST

DEAR HOW HONEST: If there were a compelling reason for your adult children to know your friend's HIV status, I would urge you to tell them. However, because none of them are likely to have sex with this person, I see no reason to share that information.

DEAR ABBY: I have one sister I love. Our parents passed away 12 years ago. We don't have a good relationship, although I try. Recently, we have been texting again.

Her son is being married in a few months. I have three children. My 26-year-old has been in trouble a lot and caused my sister's family hurt. He's not going to the wedding. My other boys are younger, 18 and 21. They have never been in trouble.

I have maintained somewhat of a relationship with my nephew. He has only three cousins on his mom's side. There are at least 17 cousins on his dad's side. Many of them have spouses, and they are all invited. My younger sons are not. Because I am deeply hurt, I have decided not to attend. My nephew's excuse for not inviting my sons was that "attendance is tight."

Am I wrong for not going? I can't help but think my sister and (all but one) of her kids don't want a relationship with my family. Should I let it go or continue pursuing a relationship when it seems obvious the feeling is not reciprocated? -- DEEPLY HURT IN TEXAS

DEAR DEEPLY HURT: It's a shame that your two law-abiding sons are being tarred with the same brush as the one who is a black sheep. They do not deserve it. However, I caution you against overreacting by boycotting the wedding. If you attend, it will give you an opportunity to tighten family ties and to talk about how proud you are of your two younger sons, who are on the straight and narrow.