DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her husband have been together for 10 years, married for three of them. They have a 1-year-old daughter. I have just learned they may be getting a divorce. My son-in-law is very controlling as well as verbally and emotionally abusive. He yells, swears and slams doors over the littlest things. It has been going on for the past couple of years.

My daughter deserves to be happy, and she doesn't want to raise my granddaughter in that environment. However, she just confided to me that they have been in an open marriage for the last three months. Both have other people in their lives.

I'm having a hard time processing this. I come from the generation where that kind of thing is morally wrong, and I'm heartbroken about the whole thing. I love my daughter and want to support her, but if I don't, I risk losing her and my granddaughter forever. How can I cope? -- COMPLETELY THROWN IN OHIO

DEAR THROWN: Your daughter and son-in-law's open marriage will soon be over. (Hallelujah!) While you may not approve of your daughter's sexual activity, she's an adult and has a right to live her life as she sees fit. (She may have been pressured into trying it.)

The Bible says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." I strongly recommend you try to remember and follow that dictate if you want to continue to have a relationship with your daughter and grandchild. She may need all of the emotional support she can get.

DEAR ABBY: I have four sisters. I have felt like the "odd one out" my entire life, and they know it. They gossip about me and my children at every opportunity. They are all financially well off. I am not. They take trips and get together frequently, but don't include me because they think I can't afford it. When I have made my feelings known, they say I'm "too sensitive" and a "drama queen."

I told them they don't have the right to look down on me and judge. How can I get them to stop being so superior and accept me and my children? I have been a widow for five years after a long and abusive marriage. They accuse me of exaggerating the mental and emotional abuse I experienced. How can I make them understand? -- EXCLUDED SIS IN NEBRASKA

DEAR SIS: You wrote that you have felt like the odd one out your entire life, and your sisters know it. You also stated that they travel together without including you because they think you can't afford it. If that's true, do you think they should have paid your fare? If you do, it's presumptuous.

After a long and abusive marriage you must feel like you have been let out of jail. For your sisters to dismiss what you experienced as exaggeration is insensitive and cruel. Because you aren't going to change them, eliminate them from your life. They may be unwilling or unable to give you the inclusion and acceptance you seek from them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband wants me to wear more revealing clothing. I've always enjoyed dressing attractively, and have never felt behind the times or like a frump, but I do have my opinion about what is appropriate. For example, if I'm wearing leggings, I wear a long top to cover my bum. My outfits are attractive and not ultra-conservative by any means, but I'm not a crop top, low-cut, skin-tight kind of gal.

I want to be attractive to my husband, but I am growing really annoyed by his pestering me to wear things in public that make me feel like I'm oversharing. He says he's a guy and he would know if it's inappropriate. I conceded a few times, but it just felt showy and uncomfortable. Your thoughts? -- STINGY WITH THE GOODS IN MAINE

DEAR STINGY: My thought is: Do nothing that makes you feel self-conscious. Your husband may be a "guy" and think he knows what is appropriate attire, but the "bottom" line is that YOU must be comfortable and not feel embarrassed by what you are showing when you are out in public.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has immersed herself in politics to the extreme. She believes the other side is wrong no matter what. We are in the same political party, but I don't paint as broad a brush as she does on various issues. I try to change the subject if politics arises. I try to keep an open mind until I get all the facts, whereas she listens to nothing that could be positive about the other side. You guessed it -- our discussions always turn into fights and anger with each other. Any suggestions? -- TIRED OF TALKING POLITICS

DEAR TIRED: In the interest of saving your marriage, because talking about politics causes fights and lingering anger, agree to defer listening to news broadcasts together and engaging in those conversations until after the next election.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married. My wife is demanding that I tell her that my stepdaughter, "Gia" (my wife's only daughter), must take part in the wedding. Gia, who is several years younger, is self-absorbed and has made no effort to be close to her older siblings. My wife has indulged and catered to Gia's every whim since she was a little girl.

My daughter wants a short ceremony, and she doesn't want her stepsister to have a role. She has chosen her close friends since high school to be her bridesmaids. My wife thinks it's my daughter's "duty" to include Gia in her wedding. Is my wife right? -- EXASPERATED HUSBAND

DEAR HUSBAND: No rule of etiquette requires your current wife's self-centered daughter to play a role in your daughter's wedding. If you are arm-twisted into allowing your wife to insert Gia into the wedding as more than a guest, have her stand by the guest register to ensure everyone signs in. That way she'll be away from the altar and out of the picture.

DEAR ABBY: My husband speaks to his mom every morning. For the past couple of months, her health has been failing, and she spends most of her days in the hospital having an extremely tough time. Hearing his mom suffer daily is affecting my husband's mental health. It sets the tone for the whole day, and I spend my mornings trying to cheer him up.

How do I tell him these daily conversations with his mom are starting to affect my mornings? Even the dog has begun showing signs of depression. Would I be selfish to suggest he needs to talk to her at a different time or maybe on fewer days? -- BYSTANDER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BYSTANDER: Your husband may not have much longer to talk with his very ill mother, so I don't recommend you approach the subject that way. What I do suggest is that you tell your husband how much you love him, and that you can see and feel his distress over her condition. Then suggest he talk with a mental health professional who can help him work this through, because you can see how much pain this is causing him. Then cross your fingers and hope he will realize how much he needs it.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this in the hope that the man of my dreams reads it. I don't know how to approach him. He's getting ready to retire, and I have fallen deeply in love with him as the years have gone by.

He's a little on the chubby side (as am I), but his personality has always amused me. Sometimes he poses "sexy" as a joke and will often show his bellybutton. I find him staring at me out of the corner of his eye most days. Please help before it's too late. I'm running out of time. -- HIS DREAM GUY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR DREAM GUY: You stated that your dream man is getting ready to retire. I can't think of a better reason for a celebration. Suggest the two of you go out for a drink or dinner after work "so you can toast his upcoming retirement." Then cross your fingers that he agrees. It could be the start of something beautiful.

DEAR ABBY: My husband suffered a stroke eight years ago. Everyone thinks he's fine physically and mentally, except those closest to him. We know his brain doesn't function the same. Example: When he went to fill out a job application, he asked me whose name should be put in the applicant field.

He occasionally had a short temper, but in recent months, he has grown verbally abusive to the point that I'm considering divorcing him. Anything can set him off, and there is no correct reaction from me. I am going to seek counseling. Any other advice for me? -- READY TO LEAVE IN DELAWARE

DEAR READY: I do have one other bit of advice. You stated that "everyone" thinks your husband is fine physically and mentally. Are you including his doctors in that statement? Forgetting to put one's own name on a job application and having a recent personality change could be signs of dementia. You should let them know you are worried so he can be evaluated.