DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been teachers since 1999. We married in 2011. She became vegan in 2017. It helped her beat diabetes, which I love. However, she's pure vegan for animal rights and listens to vegan podcasts all day long after teaching and on the weekends. I mean all day, every day with earbuds in. I have to say, "Knock, Knock" to even talk with her.

Right now, she's listening to podcasts and messaging vegan people on social media and doesn't even realize I'm typing. I love my wife, but I can't escape the frustration of not being able to have a conversation with her about anything.

We have no kids together, but I raised her son from 7 years old. He moved to live with his dad because of her obsessions with work and veganism. I love her, but the fridge is filled with kale. Should I stay, or should I go? -- AFTERTHOUGHT IN OREGON

DEAR AFTERTHOUGHT: Tap your wife on the shoulder and ask her to remove her earbuds. When she does, give her an earful. Tell her you love her but you need a partner who is willing to be more of a companion than she has become. Tell her you shouldn't have to ask permission to talk to her because of her preoccupation (obsession) with her podcasts.

If you want food in the house that isn't vegan, go out and buy some. And if she's unwilling or unable to accept and adapt, try marriage counseling before calling a lawyer. The marriage you have described is not a happy one, or you wouldn't have written to me.

DEAR ABBY: I'm growing concerned for my grandparents. They are in their late 80s and homebound. Recently, a new tenant moved into their garage apartment. They LOVE her. The rest of the family is suspicious of her. She has no job and no car and has never paid rent. She frequently spends the day with my grandparents and recently "helped" them change all their usernames and passwords to something more "simple and easy."

My grandparents live on Social Security. They have no savings, and I don't believe they have a will. From my perspective, they are setting themselves up to be robbed, abused and left high and dry by a crook disguised as their friendly tenant.

Is this worthy of an Adult Protective Services investigation? My grandparents guilt the rest of the family by saying, "At least our tenant comes over often, unlike the rest of you." (I live three hours away). Do I need to mind my own business? They aren't suspicious at all. -- DUBIOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR DUBIOUS: An investigation is not an accusation. The relationship your lonely grandparents have with this tenant is unusual. Contact APS, inform them about what's going on with your grandparents and let someone there decide whether your concerns are worth following up on. Better to be safe than sorry.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 28 years. Last year I was diagnosed with cancer. It was discovered because of a seizure I had at work. They put me in an ambulance, took me to the hospital and did a CT scan, which revealed my stage-4 cancer. Prior to this, my wife didn't work, while I had a well-paying job. This instantly reversed for obvious reasons.

My wife was extremely attentive. She started taking me to all my appointments and spent a lot of time with me in the hospital on her days off. This was about a six-month ordeal, and long story short, when I saw my doctors last week, they announced that after 35 radiation treatments and seven chemo treatments, they can no longer find any visual evidence of the cancer. I was so thrilled I cried.

Since then, my wife has been drinking heavily and getting angry with me just about every night. I don't know what's going on with her or what to do. She's the best woman I've ever met, and I don't want to lose her, but she's starting to become violent. Could you give me some advice? -- RECOVERING BUT CONFUSED

DEAR RECOVERING: Your wife may be reacting to the trauma she suffered when you became ill, which meant she had to become the primary caregiver. This, however, does not excuse her excessive drinking and violent episodes. Of one thing I am certain: You MUST NOT allow the status quo to continue, regardless of how much you love her. She should be evaluated by her doctor to see if something is medically wrong with her. And the two of you need to get into counseling right away, and because she can't handle her drinking, she may need to start rehab or join a self-help group.

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old stepdaughter has been receiving very large Venmo payments into her bank account. I know this because my husband, her father, is also on the account and I have access to it. We have asked her several times where the money is coming from. The first time, she lied and said it was from dog walking. (She has a history of lying.)

She has recently started claiming that her old "boyfriend" from four years ago -- whom she broke up with because she found tons of photos of half-naked women on his phone -- was sending her money. Abby, this isn't $20 or even $100. It's thousands of dollars EVERY month. Her ex was a delivery driver. No way can he make that much after-tax money. Where do you think she's getting the money? I say sex, but my husband refuses to believe it. What should I do? -- SUSPICIOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I, too, suspect that your stepdaughter may be involved in something sex-related. She could be an escort, have found herself a sugar daddy, or be participating in a sex webcam show. She could also be involved in selling illegal drugs.

Because your husband refuses to believe his daughter would do anything illicit, for the sake of your marriage, take a step back. Wait to see what transpires. His daughter is an adult and is responsible for making her own decisions. Because she has trouble telling the truth, there is nothing you can do to help.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started planning my wedding. Half the friends I want as bridesmaids are very conservative. They think sex is sacred and should be talked about only discreetly, not joked about, mentioned on TV, etc. I used to hold similar views, but I no longer do. Neither do the other half of the girls I want as bridesmaids.

My dream bachelorette party is the kind you see in movies, a group of girls going out on the town getting tipsy -- maybe being a little stupid -- nothing dangerous, with sexy games/favors and casually swapping sex tips and double entendres. That may not be possible with my straight-laced friends, whom I really like and would like to include.

I pick up on others' feelings easily, so I can't ignore when someone around me is unhappy. I want all my girlfriends to enjoy the party, but two or three of them won't appreciate the humor of drinking from a phallus-shaped straw. Should I split the guest list and have one prudish party and one sexy one? -- GOOD/BAD GIRL IN THE EAST

DEAR GIRL: That's an excellent idea! And we all know which one you are going to enjoy.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out my husband has been texting with his high school sweetheart for the last three years. He contacted her and shares all day-to-day activities, like our vacations, new dog, etc. She lives 2,500 miles away. She's divorced, retired like us and has children and grandchildren. I snooped and read his email. I can tell by her responses that she is being polite.

I don't understand why he contacted her after so many years and why he shares everything with her, as we have a close relationship and share everything. He did mention a year ago that he was in touch with her. I didn't think much about it then, but now that I know how long this has been going on, I'm wondering why. Should I be concerned about this? -- PUZZLED IN MAINE

DEAR PUZZLED: What is happening could be innocent, or it could be crossing a line. You will never know until you discuss this with your husband. You may not have to disclose that you read the texts if you say you recalled him mentioning that they were in touch "a while back" and let the conversation evolve from there.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received an Evite to a surrogate baby shower. I was happy to attend. Each guest was asked to bring a box of diapers, our favorite children's book and a donation to help cover the surrogate expenses. A written explanation of how expensive the surrogate process is was also included.

In my opinion, when the couple started the surrogacy process, they were aware of how expensive it would be, and to ask the shower attendees to contribute to it is a little nervy. Was this proper etiquette? -- WONDERING IN NEVADA

DEAR WONDERING: No. Soliciting the donation was over the top. I can't help but wonder how many invitees declined the invitation because of it. To ask for money was tacky.