DEAR ABBY: I have been married for quite a long time, and I am seriously contemplating walking away from it. We no longer have anything in common. I'm active and hike, bike, play golf and lift weights. My wife is 100% sedentary and wants no part of any of these activities that could keep us both healthy. It has taken a toll on her to the point that she has become obese and has mobility issues. Even a small amount of exertion exhausts her, which leaves me doing almost everything. I did not sign up to be someone's caretaker because she didn't take care of herself.

For a long time, I have become friendly with a woman who is active and healthy like me. We have much more in common than just being active. She tells me she loves my intelligence and what a great career I had. I never received any support from my wife. I am tired of being a slave. I want a partner. Your thoughts? -- FIT IN NEW YORK

DEAR FIT: I think your marriage started failing before you met this active, health-conscious woman. As it stands, you are emotionally divorced before being legally divorced. Talk to an attorney, then tell your wife that you haven't felt emotionally supported by her for a long time and you want a divorce so you can be with someone whose interests and lifestyle more closely align with yours. From what you have written, I doubt your marriage could be saved by counseling because, emotionally, you have already moved on.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single female in my 60s. I'm very much a loner and mostly keep to myself. While I know my lifestyle may be unconventional, it is the one I choose.

My concern is the possibility of dying alone in my house. I have serious health issues and don't expect to live a long life. I sometimes go weeks without contact with another human being, and if I should meet my demise, there's a very real possibility that it could go completely unnoticed for quite some time. I am not asking that you offer advice to fix my solitary life because, frankly, I accept it. What I would like to know is if there is a way -- a service or device or something -- that would alert someone in the likely event that I am alone when I meet my end. -- FLYING SOLO IN TEXAS

DEAR SOLO: Great question. If you have a newspaper delivered, your carrier would notice if they were starting to pile up on your doorstep. The same would apply if your mail carrier noticed your mail starting to accumulate. There are also apps and services that will check in daily with you to be sure you are OK.

One I have heard about is the Telephone Reassurance program. It is often a free service provided by a county's department of aging and disabilities. Volunteers place daily phone calls to older or disabled adults to help them remain independent in their homes for as long as possible. If this isn't available in your area, check with your local senior center, AARP or department of senior services for recommendations.

DEAR ABBY: Many months ago, a family member's husband was charged with possession of and distributing more than 10,000 items of child pornography. The police and Department of Homeland Security raided their home and seized computers, cellphones and other devices. He was arrested and spent about a week in jail. He hired a very good attorney, and all the charges were dismissed.

His wife, our blood relative, stayed by his side. She remains married to him and doesn't plan to leave him. She has been keeping us up to date on the legal developments and says his attorneys believe he won't serve any jail time because "he's in his mid-70s and has no prior convictions of any crimes."

Although the charges were dismissed, we are not comfortable having him in our homes because there are small children at our gatherings. It's important to note that his wife never denied that he was viewing and distributing these materials. She only said, "They're making him out to be a monster." How can we remain supportive of her while at the same time let her know when the time comes, that he's NOT welcome? This chain of events has been devastating to our entire family. -- DEVASTATED IN THE EAST

DEAR DEVASTATED: Your concern is understandable, but I have to question whether you have all of your facts straight. On the one hand, you state that all the charges against this man were dismissed. On the other hand, you say his attorney thinks he won't serve time because of his age, which makes me wonder if some sort of plea deal happened, and he will be required only to perform community service.

You may want to be emotionally supportive of this family member, but if the parents of minor children feel her husband could present a danger to them, those children must be protected. And, if that means not exposing them to the couple, then so be it.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for 16 years. He has two children, ages 17 and 19. Every year, he spends the major holidays with his ex and his kids. I can't go with him because his ex has ruined any chance of my having a relationship with his children. Frankly, they hate me and blame me for their parents' divorce.

I have five children. I make time for them at holidays, but I prioritize my husband. I don't think he should be doing this. Am I wrong? He's done it for 16 years. I mention it every year, and he always says next year will be different. Please tell me your thoughts. -- MISSING HIM THEN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR MISSING: This year won't be different, and neither will the ones after. My question to you is, were you responsible for breaking up his marriage? According to the mail I have received over the years, many marriages were over long before either spouse filed for divorce. If the "kids" are right, they aren't going to change their attitude at this late date. If, however, you were blameless, their father should have straightened them out when they were old enough to understand.

DEAR ABBY: I caught my husband talking on the phone to another woman. I heard him say, "Get some sleep, sweetheart," and "Thank you for being my companion." When I called him on it, he claimed nothing was happening and he had used the wrong words.

He admitted to whom he was talking, and I called her. She said she was just a friend and had no feelings for him that way. Afterward, I still felt something was going on. That was two years ago, and I do not think the same way about him. He knows this, and continues to tell me he loves me and that nothing went on. Am I right to feel this way? -- DIDN'T BUY IT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DIDN'T BUY IT: People have been known to speak affectionately to each other without an affair going on. Both your husband and the woman denied it. However, with the trust between you and your husband broken after what you heard, the time to begin dealing with it was two years ago. It is still not too late for the two of you to have some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist, and that's what I am urging you to do.

DEAR ABBY: I'm hoping that you can help me. My sister and I are distanced from each other. We haven't spoken since the passing of our mother three years ago. Today I learned that she has been diagnosed with stage-3 cancer. Of course, this has hit me hard. I want to reach out, but I'm not sure how to go about it. She has blocked me from her social media and won't accept my calls. I need to let her know that I'm here for her. Please advise how to approach this. -- TRYING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR TRYING: Whatever caused the rift with your sister, it is clearly more serious than "distancing." If you put your thoughts and feelings in a letter to her, it will let her know that you love her, are concerned about her diagnosis and ready to do whatever she will allow you to do to help. That's all you can do. After that, the ball is in her court. I hope it works.

DEAR ABBY: You often respond to a person who has been "ghosted" by a friend or relative. I have the opposite problem. I have a longtime friend and colleague who has begun to drive me nuts, creating anxiety and anger whenever I must deal with them.

They are a nice person, but every time I communicate with them, they respond by texts and emails multiple times a day. They have only four go-to topics -- one of them being weather. I don't know how not to hurt their feelings, so ghosting seems like the softest approach. Ideas? -- FUTURE GHOSTER IN OREGON

DEAR FUTURE GHOSTER: Explain to this colleague that your schedule is swamped. Then stop responding to the unnecessary texts and emails. If the person asks why or what has changed, repeat that you are jammed and do not have time for personal exchanges during work hours. Period.