DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my family lost my mother, who was the rock of our family. Two weeks after that, my family started falling apart. My older brother, younger sister and I no longer speak. My brother and I got in a physical confrontation and haven't spoken since.

A year later, I suffered a massive heart attack. I was at death's door. My doctors said it was a miracle I survived. I'm blessed to be here, but since then, not one family member has reached out. The story of my survival was all over social media and even on a few TV newscasts. My heart function is low, and I had a defibrillator implanted.

I have been missing my family more and more, but I'm also afraid my heart will get broken. We have made mistakes, and I know I'm also at fault. I feel awful about what happened, but I'm hurt that no one reached out to my wife or daughter asking if I was OK or if they needed anything.

I recently had some contact with my brother's son, and we have been texting, but I have yet to hear from my brother. My family is growing with grandkids, and I would love to reconnect our families before it's too late. Is it too late? -- ESTRANGED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ESTRANGED: Maybe, maybe not. If you haven't already, write or call your brother and make a formal apology for what happened between you. While you are at it, do the same with the rest of your family members. Tell them you are sorry, that none of you is getting any younger and you would like to be part of the family again. I can't predict the outcome, but this would be a good start. I wish you luck. With the passage of time, people sometimes gain a better perspective.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Mary Ann" is a hoarder. She refuses all offers of assistance (physically and emotionally) to clear her home of the overwhelming amount of stuff that negatively impacts her life. Our extended family is thrilled that she has finally started to make an effort to sort through some of her "treasures." Unfortunately, we have now become recipients of birthday and Christmas gifts, some of which are opened, used, dusty and have animal fur on them. We do not want or need these "gifts."

I sense that unloading these items on us gives Mary Ann a feeling of comfort and keeps her from making difficult decisions that will lead to truly changing her thinking related to letting go of her junk. How do we politely (and firmly) express to Mary Ann that we have no desire to receive her hoard, bit by bit, without reversing the progress she has made in attempting to address her disorder? -- UNHAPPY RECIPIENT IN MISSOURI

DEAR RECIPIENT: You are not going to "fix" Mary Ann. Be glad she is taking baby steps to help herself. I do NOT think it would be helpful to "politely express" that you have no desire to receive her hoard, bit by bit. Instead, accept the items and then quietly donate them or give them to someone who might use them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of a 16-year-old girl, "Leia." She has been living with my parents since she was 10 because that's what she and my folks wanted at the time. I didn't want her to, but I allowed it to happen because I was having health issues.

Leia chose to remain there because my parents spoiled her rotten, and they continue to spoil and pamper her. This has resulted in her becoming the most self-centered, demanding, disrespectful person my parents and I have ever seen, and they now want her to live with me. I predicted (to myself only) that she'd turn out this way due to their "parenting." My parents created an entitled teenager and now they expect me to suffer the consequences of what they did.

They guilt-trip me with their health problems as a reason they want her to leave. I do not want her to come here. I don't want to have to deal with her attitude and try to prevent her from running away. I also don't want to lose my daughter forever because they kicked her out, but she doesn't like my rules. What advice do you have? -- MOM OF A MONSTER

DEAR MOM: Your parents took your daughter in because of your health issues. You enabled their poor parenting to continue by allowing your daughter to live with them and not speaking up. Ultimately, Leia is your responsibility until she is 18, and possibly longer.

Your parents must now explain to Leia that because of their poor health, she will be staying with you. As a minor, this decision is not hers to make. (It shouldn't have been in the first place.) When she and her belongings arrive, explain what YOUR house rules will be and the reasons for them. If she threatens to run away, point out that if that happens, she may become a ward of the state, and foster care could be less pleasant than staying with the mother who loves her but doesn't like who Leia has become while living with the grands.

DEAR ABBY: Two couples I know are getting married soon. Both couples plan on having small, intimate weddings in the near future and larger, grander weddings later on. Each has their own reasons for doing so.

What's the gift policy when someone holds two weddings? I have already purchased something for one couple's upcoming small wedding and will likely attend their big one, but must I buy them a gift for that one as well? Or is one gift at the small wedding for each couple enough? -- EXCITED GUEST IN OHIO

DEAR GUEST: Wedding gifts are given in celebration of the WEDDING. What these friends are scheduling is an "event" following their intimate wedding. No rule of etiquette demands that you give the couple two separate gifts.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited for a long weekend at my friend's new home in South Carolina. She has wanted me to come there to visit ever since she purchased it. I offered to come down, but then I sprained my ankle, and it still has not healed.

My friend then told me her daughter and son-in-law will be there with their two young children. She said we can babysit her grandchildren while I'm there when her daughter and son-in-law go out. I told her I don't want to go down there to babysit. I have no children and do not enjoy babysitting. She used to do this to me before she moved. Now she's upset that I won't help her. What should I do? -- NOT INTERESTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: What you do is this: Repeat to your manipulative friend that your ankle is still healing, it is difficult to get around and you are unable to chase after young children. Tell her that when you are better you would love to see her place and visit one on one. Then stick to your guns.

DEAR ABBY: I am a male singer and guitarist who has been playing in small local venues most of my life. My new duo partner is a nice person and decent multi-instrumentalist. The problem is that he cannot -- and should not -- sing, though he believes he is a fine vocalist.

His new girlfriend recently confided to me that she feels he shouldn't sing because it is damaging to our joint reputation and to my own as a musician. She doesn't know how to tell him or whether she should. I don't know how to tell him either without risking our partnership, although at this point, any gigs we acquire will be one-offs because of the poor vocal performance that will result.

Over the years, I have failed auditions and learned from constructive criticism. Should I tell him or try to dissolve our duo gently? -- OLD CANADIAN ROCKER

DEAR ROCKER: Your relationship with this partner isn't social; it is business. He is in denial about his limited abilities. Bursting his bubble by enlightening him that his singing is holding you back will not endear you to him. It would be best to dissolve the partnership as kindly as you can and find a replacement.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are starting to get older and have a number of health issues. I am one of three children now in our 40s. My parents got an attorney to write their will and have cut one child out completely. They decided to give another child two-thirds of their estate while leaving me with only one-third. They claim the reason is that my sister will be responsible for their health when and if they get to that point. We aren't talking about lots of money, but I don't know what I should do. -- NOT THE FAVORITE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NOT THE FAVORITE: What you should do is accept your parents' reasoning, as well as their generosity, and not argue about it. Be grateful, because doing otherwise will get you nowhere.