DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm in the 10th grade, and after moving to a new country, city and school, I was "taken in" by a group of other high-schoolers who seemed to think of me as their friend right away. They took me into their clique, so to speak.

However, as the weeks go on, I've noticed that they make continual sexist and racist jokes. I've asked them to stop -- as far as I know, in a polite way.

No one has stopped, though. I'm not sure if it's because I'm being too weak-willed or if my "friends" really don't care.

I've now come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest to end these friendships (if that's what they really are). But I don't know how to tell them to leave me alone without offending anyone. What do you think I should do?

GENTLE READER: Make new friends. Just as it is easier to find a new job while you still have one, so will it be to find a better class of friends. Then you can ease your way out of the old friendships, citing an overtaxed schedule.

If you are feeling very brave, your older self would thank you for politely telling them that you have conflicting viewpoints. But Miss Manners is not impervious to the cruelty of teenagers and would forgive you if you didn't. That you drop the friendships should be enough to convey to others that you do not agree with their unbecoming prejudices.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a sister I love and a niece and nephew I adore. I love that the convenience and quality of mobile phone cameras are at the point where pictures of them are plentiful and aren't necessarily hampered by poor quality.

Unfortunately, my sister seems to enjoy using Instagram-style filters that are in vogue, especially ones designed to look like vintage photos, when camera technology produced charming and interesting effects -- which are, in essence, of lesser quality.

My assumption is that I must accept that my sister enjoys these filters and try to not let them distract me. However, if there is the opportunity for me to gracefully tell her that I wish I could enjoy more true-to-life, unfiltered pictures of her gorgeous children, I would love to find it.

GENTLE READER: "Oh, I do so love getting pictures from you. And it's so interesting how the new technologies change the children's looks so drastically. Perhaps you could send me the unfiltered ones so I could try it myself."

This should achieve what you desire and assuage your sister's artistic sensibility. If not, Miss Manners feels certain that "unfiltering" will be the next rebellion from purists such as ourselves.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it socially acceptable to remove your retainer at the table?

GENTLE READER: Ewww. Please tell Miss Manners that you are not seriously contemplating doing this. If she is queasy just hearing the idea, she can imagine how people feel who might be forced to watch.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who routinely brings tasty treats to work for me. Although I appreciate her generosity, these treats are routinely accompanied with an insult.

For example, today she gave me a piece of a loaf with icing on top but promptly advised me to scrape off the icing. It's little nuggets of advice like this that lead me to think she thinks I am overweight. (I most certainly am not!)

However, I can't reject her food because she often leaves it on my desk. How do I get her to stop insulting my healthy (but never gluttonous) appetite?

GENTLE READER: It is unfortunate that the icing on your friend's cake is an insult. But since the two are in direct contact, Miss Manners wonders, why, exactly, can you not politely reject the whole package?

Hand back the treat and say: "You are so right. It's so kind of you to offer, but I really can't." If this makes your friend rethink her method of delivery, you will be in the happy position of having your cake and eating it too.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I tell the person who is cutting my hair or cleaning my teeth that I don't want to talk about my personal life?

GENTLE READER: Keeping your eyes shut might alert them that you are tuned out. If necessary, Miss Manners recommends telling the hair cutter that you are blissfully relaxed. To the dental hygienist, you need only say a version of "Ummpphhh," which will be recognized as the inability to hold a conversation when there are instruments in your mouth.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How much courtesy do I owe street solicitors?

I'm not referring to the homeless (for whom I feel compassion), but to salespeople who stop me as I'm going about my day and try to engage me in a conversation about some random product, service or cause they'd like to sell me.

I find the ambush sales-pitch imposing and rude. What I do now is to say, "No, thanks" without breaking my gait, and even then I feel a little guilty about being gruff.

However, in the scheme of things, I feel my response is more polite than the situation calls for. I would like to say, "Please don't bother me," but that seems disrespectful to a person who is just doing a job, albeit an annoying one.

I don't think that accosting people, taking advantage of a natural tendency to avoid conflict, is a reasonable way to do business. I don't like responding to it with more consideration than I've been extended.

I live in a major urban area and encounter tons of these folks. I'm sick of it. What's your take?

GENTLE READER: Responding to rudeness with more consideration than has been extended is something of a guiding principle for Miss Manners.

She also knows that the alternative is ineffective: The people whom you wish to lecture are the agents, not the originators, of the approach. Far better to pass on with a "No, thank you," as you are doing, leaving the would-be salesman without successes to report to his boss.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are both in our early 30s and have been married for three years. Finally, we have been able to get the engagement ring we have always wanted.

We are not wealthy by any means. We work very hard; we both have two jobs after deciding that our priority was to pay down all our debts and live below our means (which means severely limiting going out to dinners and the movies).

At first, it did bother me when I saw from my friends' social media posts and pictures how much fun they were having, but our method has allowed us to start saving toward building a house overseas.

I knew that there would be mixed emotions from people in our social circle once the ring became public news, and since then we have received the wonderful and expected congratulations.

Unfortunately, we have also been met with sarcasm and critical remarks, such as, "Of course you guys were able to afford a ring -- you don't have kids!"

This comment hurts me deeply, as we have secretly struggled with miscarriages in the past. It also makes me feel that I am an outsider and like my hard-earned happiness is being trampled on.

I have made mistakes in my life, financial and otherwise; but it seems that because I did not make the same choices my friends have (such as starting a family at a very young age, job hopping every few months, or consistently going out every weekend) that my happiness is somehow not substantiated.

I am not sure how to respond without being rude when comments of this nature are directed at me, but I am tired of being beaten down for my success.

GENTLE READER: Exactly how did your buying a ring become "public news"?

Miss Manners doubts that even people who are brash enough to grab the hand of a newly engaged lady to check out the expected jewelry would think to do so to someone married three years previously.

You told them, didn't you -- directly or through a social media posting, or both?

And by labeling it an engagement ring, you (as you acknowledge) expected congratulations -- not on becoming engaged, after marriage, but on acquiring a piece of jewelry.

Mind you, Miss Manners not only agrees that how you spend your hard-earned money is none of anyone's business, but she even can understand that the illogic of calling it an engagement ring has sentimental charm for you and your husband. Had a friend happened to notice the ring, it would have been in a complimentary way, and you would not likely have been subjected to criticism for confiding that it is the engagement ring you never had at the time of your engagement.

But you made it, as you say, "public news." And therefore you solicited reaction from the public. Not everyone is polite and sympathetic enough to go along with your notion of this as an engagement.

Your response to criticism can be to say, "Well, it makes us happy," stiffly enough so as to discourage further comment. Then you should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)