DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love to send out Christmas cards, greetings and an annual holiday letter to about 150 people. I do so at a great investment of time, finances and commitment, but I enjoy sending holiday greetings in the joy of the season.

This year, for some reason, I received a large increase in the number of electronic Christmas cards and electronic Christmas letters, which I do not appreciate nor welcome. I choose not to respond in any way to these electronic greetings and cards.

Had I shared my real response and feelings, it would not have added to the joy of the season. How would you suggest one respond to such electronic Christmas cards and letters?

GENTLE READER: “For some reason”?

The reason is that technology has made it infinitely simpler to address people electronically than by hand and regular mail. The content, which you characterize as spreading joy, remains the same. And many paper Christmas cards contain a mere signature, which is sometimes even printed.

This does not merit an unpleasant response. You are free to reply using actual cards, or to ignore the exchange and let it drop.

That said, Miss Manners actually shares your annoyance. To her, it is the time and computer space occupied by receiving such greetings because they often have animated features. But she is willing to concede that this is a prejudice, and would not hold it against the senders.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is it acceptable to cancel engagements? My friend thinks nothing of filling up her calendar with what must be “options,” and is famous for canceling the morning of -- or hours before -- meeting for happy hour or dinner.

Usually there is a flimsy excuse and little apology. Seems like a great system for her. I tried to call her on it recently and she pushed back and doubled down. Any hope for this friendship?

Has rudeness become acceptable these days?

GENTLE READER: Not to its victims. Miss Manners even doubts that the perpetrators believe it to be acceptable, but your supposed friend, who must know but not care that she is inconveniencing you, is brazening it out.

It is acceptable to cancel engagements when you are hospitalized. Showing consideration to your hosts is not an outdated concept.

If you are to continue this friendship, you should make -- and politely keep -- engagements only on this person’s turf. Why you would continue to set yourself up for more disappointment on yours, Miss Manners cannot imagine.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just received a Christmas card with the message, ”A donation has been made in your name to ...” I am not sure why I find these “gifts” offensive, but I do.

Am I just a grump for feeling this way? I am not quite sure how to respond to these notifications. Do I just send a simple “Thank you for thinking of me”?

GENTLE READER: You’re offended because they didn’t think of you, unless this was a favorite charity of yours. They thought of getting credit for philanthropy and generosity for the same price.

Miss Manners would forgive you if you merely wrote, “I admire your support of ...”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: With the advent of current events being headlined via social media, what is the proper way to inform a participant that their information is false, including verification, without this Southern gentleman’s informing said offender that he/she may be the stupidest creature ever to draw breath?

GENTLE READER: Well, not that. No matter how much Southern charm you dress it up in.

If one were to go around correcting and berating everyone who spoke an untruth, one would do little else. And the fact that this behavior is being modeled by people we nevertheless elect to office does not excuse it.

If you wish to shield yourself from lies and propaganda, Miss Manners suggests that you disengage from offensive social media. Doing so provides a much more pleasant existence, and allows you to maintain friendships that might otherwise be dissolved.

If you cannot resist engaging, she would limit you to the occasional response that the offender “might be mistaken,” accompanied by corrected information. But as it is as easy to manufacture and call up incorrect “facts” as correct ones on the internet, do not be surprised if that person comes back for more and the battle continues.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family, including three children, are vegetarians. We are not the preachy, whiny kind; we just don’t eat meat. We have a full, fun, colorful, healthy diet of pastas, fruits, veggies, pizzas, bean dishes, etc. Most restaurants these days offer plenty for our family to choose from.

A cousin of mine also has children, and claims they have gluten allergies and lactose intolerance. (These are undiagnosed by a doctor. She just “feels” that’s the case.) Regardless, whenever they are at our home at meal times, I ALWAYS provide gluten-free/lactose-free options. I even baked a separate, gluten/lactose-free birthday cake at my child’s party so their kids could have cake.

When we go to their home, no such courtesy is extended to us. Family cookouts are basically just meat on the grill. No side dishes, not even any buns. Though one time, they did have potatoes.

Is it wrong to expect that when you are invited to a mealtime gathering that there be something you can eat? I can’t IMAGINE being so rude to my own guests.

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners is sympathetic to your situation, she notes that you began by boasting that you were not the “preachy, whiny kind” of vegetarian. But unfortunately that appears to apply only to situations (your own house, a restaurant) that could easily accommodate you.

Your attention to your cousin’s mere feelings about certain foods (which, Miss Manners reluctantly points out, are also what yours are) is commendable, and it is not unreasonable to assume that your cousin’s family would act in kind. But they have not. So to maintain your low-maintenance status, eat around the choices and, if necessary, fortify before you go. Yes, it might be noticeable, but then it will teach your cousins to provide something of sustenance for you in the future.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband has a movement disorder and neurological condition that is only going to get much, much worse. It is clear from things he says (there are “filter” issues) and from his balance issues that he is ill.

Strangers and neighbors bluntly ask what is wrong. I simply say my husband is private about his health, but is there something better I could say? Even firmer? I am getting annoyed, but have been worried about hurting people’s feelings.

When he is rude to strangers in public, it baffles them, hurts their feelings, and humiliates and worries me. My response is to take him out of the public place and get him settled in the car, and then go back and thank the person for their kindness to someone who is clearly ill. Is there a better way?

When we are invited out socially, unless it is by someone who knows us well, I always feel I have to refuse. Is there a polite way to accept an invitation for myself but make it clear he won’t be able to come? I simply cannot enjoy these things if I know he is going to say something horrible to people who are hosting us. As it stands, I simply thank people and refuse. And I would want to reciprocate, but again ... his behavior in our home is unpredictable, so my social life is pretty much shutting down.

GENTLE READER: It is surely small consolation, but the more common filter issue these days is people who are fully capable of controlling their impulses, but choose not to.

Miss Manners does not suggest that you pretend that your husband is one of those people. Rather, it might be a relief for others to hear that, in this case, there is a medical reason for the disorder. She hopes that healthy people do not glom onto similar excuses for their own rudeness.

If versions of “I am afraid that he is not well” (also a perfectly good reason for him to stay home when you are invited out) do not satisfy nosy inquiries, however, you may provide some levity by saying, “It is an unfortunate condition, but at least he is not running for office.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a sudden allergy attack while waiting for a friend in the lobby of a nice restaurant. A very kind older gentleman saw my situation and offered me his handkerchief. I was very grateful and thanked him through tears and runny nose. Before I gained my composure, he was gone.

I just stuffed the used handkerchief in my purse, but what would be the proper thing to do if this were a person I would be in further contact with? Such as at a dinner party, or on some form of public transportation? Surely I wouldn’t give it back?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but only after assuring the owner that it is being returned in better condition than after it was borrowed.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)