DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I are often the recipients of complete verbal medical reports, sometimes from people we barely know.

I am 79 and my wife is 70. We look younger than our years due to healthy eating, exercise and a few cosmetic tweaks. Nevertheless, we both have calendars filled with doctor and dental appointments, which we never discuss with anyone other than one another.

We have grown tired of having to listen to complaints, often coming from individuals younger than us, in which we are spared no details. Quite frankly, we don’t want to be victimized in this manner anymore.

I am tempted to say, “Do you really think, at our age, we don’t have medical/health issues of our own?” Might there be a better way?

GENTLE READER: Certainly not that. If these people have any sense of decorum, they would feel obliged to give you a turn at reciting your medical history.

As an antidote to bores of any sort, Miss Manners recommends chiming in with a slightly irrelevant comment that sounds sympathetic, but also makes it obvious that you have not been following with great attention. For example, while someone is tracing the progress of his kidney stone, you say something like, “Oh, dear, I suppose all this nasty rain we’ve been having doesn’t help.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Now that we are nearing the conclusion of the Christmas season, I would like your insight on what has become a pervasive, narcissistic and somewhat aggravating tradition: Christmas cards proliferated with photos of children, grandchildren and even pets.

Even worse, letters as long as three pages bragging about the sender, their family, their exotic vacations, and any other event that the reader cares nothing about. If a family were to be the subject of the card, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to display the family that started the holiday, rather than secularizing it with the aforementioned?

GENTLE READER: Have you been on social media lately?

Posting pictures, boasting about vacations, and general self-promotion has become a full-time occupation for so many people that Miss Manners looks with longing back to the era when they only did it once a year. At Christmastime, she is happy to look at others’ grandchildren and hear about how they scaled Mount Everest, but not more often.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After mailing a check for a Christmas gift to people like your newspaper carrier and your lawn mower, is a thank-you too much to expect? Whether it be in person, phone call, text, email or regular mail?

I ask because, after giving out checks tucked in a Christmas card the last couple of years to these people for their services, I have never received a thank-you. I can only tell they received them because they cashed the checks. They have all the info to contact me, and I have also seen the lawn man since, but never a word. Is this the norm?

GENTLE READER: Presumably they look upon this as a bonus that is part of expected compensation. But why they would not want to encourage generosity, Miss Manners cannot understand. It is not as though they would have to make special trips to thank you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love to send out Christmas cards, greetings and an annual holiday letter to about 150 people. I do so at a great investment of time, finances and commitment, but I enjoy sending holiday greetings in the joy of the season.

This year, for some reason, I received a large increase in the number of electronic Christmas cards and electronic Christmas letters, which I do not appreciate nor welcome. I choose not to respond in any way to these electronic greetings and cards.

Had I shared my real response and feelings, it would not have added to the joy of the season. How would you suggest one respond to such electronic Christmas cards and letters?

GENTLE READER: “For some reason”?

The reason is that technology has made it infinitely simpler to address people electronically than by hand and regular mail. The content, which you characterize as spreading joy, remains the same. And many paper Christmas cards contain a mere signature, which is sometimes even printed.

This does not merit an unpleasant response. You are free to reply using actual cards, or to ignore the exchange and let it drop.

That said, Miss Manners actually shares your annoyance. To her, it is the time and computer space occupied by receiving such greetings because they often have animated features. But she is willing to concede that this is a prejudice, and would not hold it against the senders.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is it acceptable to cancel engagements? My friend thinks nothing of filling up her calendar with what must be “options,” and is famous for canceling the morning of -- or hours before -- meeting for happy hour or dinner.

Usually there is a flimsy excuse and little apology. Seems like a great system for her. I tried to call her on it recently and she pushed back and doubled down. Any hope for this friendship?

Has rudeness become acceptable these days?

GENTLE READER: Not to its victims. Miss Manners even doubts that the perpetrators believe it to be acceptable, but your supposed friend, who must know but not care that she is inconveniencing you, is brazening it out.

It is acceptable to cancel engagements when you are hospitalized. Showing consideration to your hosts is not an outdated concept.

If you are to continue this friendship, you should make -- and politely keep -- engagements only on this person’s turf. Why you would continue to set yourself up for more disappointment on yours, Miss Manners cannot imagine.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just received a Christmas card with the message, ”A donation has been made in your name to ...” I am not sure why I find these “gifts” offensive, but I do.

Am I just a grump for feeling this way? I am not quite sure how to respond to these notifications. Do I just send a simple “Thank you for thinking of me”?

GENTLE READER: You’re offended because they didn’t think of you, unless this was a favorite charity of yours. They thought of getting credit for philanthropy and generosity for the same price.

Miss Manners would forgive you if you merely wrote, “I admire your support of ...”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: With the advent of current events being headlined via social media, what is the proper way to inform a participant that their information is false, including verification, without this Southern gentleman’s informing said offender that he/she may be the stupidest creature ever to draw breath?

GENTLE READER: Well, not that. No matter how much Southern charm you dress it up in.

If one were to go around correcting and berating everyone who spoke an untruth, one would do little else. And the fact that this behavior is being modeled by people we nevertheless elect to office does not excuse it.

If you wish to shield yourself from lies and propaganda, Miss Manners suggests that you disengage from offensive social media. Doing so provides a much more pleasant existence, and allows you to maintain friendships that might otherwise be dissolved.

If you cannot resist engaging, she would limit you to the occasional response that the offender “might be mistaken,” accompanied by corrected information. But as it is as easy to manufacture and call up incorrect “facts” as correct ones on the internet, do not be surprised if that person comes back for more and the battle continues.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family, including three children, are vegetarians. We are not the preachy, whiny kind; we just don’t eat meat. We have a full, fun, colorful, healthy diet of pastas, fruits, veggies, pizzas, bean dishes, etc. Most restaurants these days offer plenty for our family to choose from.

A cousin of mine also has children, and claims they have gluten allergies and lactose intolerance. (These are undiagnosed by a doctor. She just “feels” that’s the case.) Regardless, whenever they are at our home at meal times, I ALWAYS provide gluten-free/lactose-free options. I even baked a separate, gluten/lactose-free birthday cake at my child’s party so their kids could have cake.

When we go to their home, no such courtesy is extended to us. Family cookouts are basically just meat on the grill. No side dishes, not even any buns. Though one time, they did have potatoes.

Is it wrong to expect that when you are invited to a mealtime gathering that there be something you can eat? I can’t IMAGINE being so rude to my own guests.

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners is sympathetic to your situation, she notes that you began by boasting that you were not the “preachy, whiny kind” of vegetarian. But unfortunately that appears to apply only to situations (your own house, a restaurant) that could easily accommodate you.

Your attention to your cousin’s mere feelings about certain foods (which, Miss Manners reluctantly points out, are also what yours are) is commendable, and it is not unreasonable to assume that your cousin’s family would act in kind. But they have not. So to maintain your low-maintenance status, eat around the choices and, if necessary, fortify before you go. Yes, it might be noticeable, but then it will teach your cousins to provide something of sustenance for you in the future.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)