DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would you enlighten us as to when children’s tables are appropriate?

My brother and I are 17 and 15, and we were required to eat a holiday meal in a separate room with the host couple’s 7-year-old son. We have never shown our relatives anything but good table manners, and are always respectful and reserved as guests. This arrangement insulted us, but was it a breach of etiquette?

GENTLE READER: Hosts faced with limited room at the dining room table are forced to make a cut-off age for the children’s table -- and Miss Manners is guessing that in this case, it was 18.

The good news is that this is a problem that you will soon age out of -- at which point Miss Manners will good-naturedly entertain your complaints about the boring adults, and your desire to return to the children’s table so that you can gossip about them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At family gatherings, everyone prepares several dishes for a buffet-style meal. My sister-in-law will visually assess what I put on my dinner plate. She then verbally calls me out in front of everyone if she feels I did not take enough of (or any) of the food she prepared.

At one gathering, she told me I have to try what she made and I cannot leave her house until I do. How do I respond to such controlling behavior in front of all the relatives and guests?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you, I am full. I wasn’t planning on spending the night, but if you are insisting, perhaps I can have it for breakfast.” And then hope that this public response garners laughs, and not an invitation.

Miss Manners further recommends that in a less heated moment, you suggest that if your sister-in-law feels that it is so important for her guests to eat only what she cooks, then she should not be giving potluck dinners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent a floral delivery to my sister-in-law for Christmas. She responded to my husband (as she always does) by text, saying, “Thank you for thinking of me, the floral tree is pathetic! Demand your money back. Picture to follow.”

The photo was never sent. Since it is too late for us to fix it, I would rather not know that my thoughtfulness failed. How does one respond to that?

GENTLE READER: While your sister-in-law was brusque and failed to follow through, Miss Manners does not condemn the sentiment. If there is, as you say, something to be done about it, she would think you would want to know if a present was sent damaged. You could have responded, “I am so sorry it did not please you. If you can send us that picture, we will be sure to get in touch with the florist and ask for a replacement, on the grounds that it was not up to their usual standard.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighborhood grocery store has recently begun featuring a guitar-playing singer during busier shopping times. His makeshift stage is just by the door, so one is in his field of vision upon entering and exiting the store, as well as while browsing the produce.

While the songs aren’t offensive, loud or bothersome in any way, I find the whole arrangement awkward and generally try to avoid eye contact. Am I being rude? How should one respond to a live entertainer when shopping for necessaries?

GENTLE READER: Placing a performer in such a situation is one of many thoughtless ideas that occur to modern employers with alarming regularity. Miss Manners’ sympathy is with the musician, whose predicament is worse than yours.

But as these people have agreed to do this -- and are presumably being paid -- your own responsibilities are limited to a brief acknowledgment in passing, and refraining from dumping mayonnaise on their instruments.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I were invited to dinner at the house of a couple with whom we are very close. Another couple, whom we didn’t know well, was actually cooking the dinner.

Before dinner, I made some remarks about how hungry I was and couldn’t wait to eat. When we sat down for dinner, I was three bites into my dressing when I discovered a hair in the food. I discreetly removed it from my mouth with my napkin, but was repulsed and couldn’t eat any more.

My hosts kept asking why I wasn’t eating when I had just recently proclaimed how hungry I was. I responded by saying I was full or I had had enough.

On our way home, my spouse asked me why I had stopped eating. When I told him, he was upset that I continued to let him eat the food, knowing what I had found.

If the food had been prepared by our friends, I could’ve been honest with them about what I found and even laughed it off. Since the food was prepared by the couple we didn’t know, I did not say anything. Was I in a no-win situation?

GENTLE READER: More than one, as your husband will attest. Miss Manners hopes that your husband will accept your apology and come to see the humor of the situation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the polite response when served more than one can eat?

I visited my son, who had cooked a nice meal. Without prompting or asking, he served me and my guest what I consider to be huge portions of food. Neither of us were able to eat all we were served.

My son says that not to eat it all was wasteful and rude. I consider serving someone more than they can eat to be wasteful and rude.

GENTLE READER: Hosts, even sons, who attempt to force-feed their guests must be dealt with firmly. Protest -- and, if your host persists, continue to protest -- that while the food is excellent, you simply cannot eat another bite. Entering into specifics (“I ate a big lunch,”; ”I’m allergic to eggplant,”; ”It’s too fattening”) only invites an argument -- just as eating the overgenerous portion only invites seconds.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A male friend sent me a very nice Christmas card describing our friendship. It was pretty accurate; however, a very nice pair of earrings was sent along with the card.

We are both married (to other people) and he is considerably older than me. I am fond of him, but only as a friend. I thanked him for the card and the gift, but told him I could not accept a gift like that and that it made me uncomfortable.

I offended him. Was there a better way for me to have handled this situation?

GENTLE READER: It does not matter whether his indignation is because your assumption -- that the gift suggested something more than friendship -- is right or wrong.

As in many etiquette situations, Miss Manners warns you that you will have to take the blame upon yourself: You are so embarrassed, it is just the way you were brought up, etc. As your parents will not be present to defend themselves, your friend will have to accept this answer if he wishes to maintain the friendship.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve known my brother-in-law since he was a teenager. So recently, when he was telling his daughters about job offers he’d had in his youth, I knew the only truth to what he said was the location and time frame. The rest was absolutely ridiculous.

Then, at a family party, when we were discussing his daughter’s new job, her sister said she was “teaching classes”; her mother said she was “teaching classes and was in charge of the curriculum”; and when my brother-in-law caught me, he said, “My daughter’s boss is having her run the entire company.”

What is the protocol for dealing with these massive exaggerations?!

GENTLE READER: The proper protocol is a big smile. Whether you are smiling to acknowledge how important the job is or to indicate that you realize that your brother-in-law is exaggerating for effect should, Miss Manners cautions you, be ambiguous to everyone but yourself.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our group of ladies gets together every couple of months for lunch, to reminisce and catch up. If there is a noteworthy occasion coming up, one of the members always appears with a sweet concoction: pie, ice cream cake, etc. After the meal, she produces it, then asks the waitress for a knife, extra plates, forks and napkins.

I am always uneasy. Do we think the restaurant sweets are unworthy? How can we ask for implements for food they haven’t provided? I generally decline the treat, pleading diet or some such.

GENTLE READER: Restaurants, like hosts, provide food. Miss Manners reminds everyone that it is impolite to pack your own, something the restaurant has no doubt already told your friends if they are so unwise as to pull this trick more than once at the same establishment.

Declining the treat does not relieve you of all responsibility. It is better privately to convince one or two members of your circle, who can then help you bring the rest around to a better policy for future celebrations.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)