MISS MANNERS: I had a fire and lost everything. I rebuilt and am now in my new home. Some things are not finished yet; it will take a while. But friends and family are asking me whether I plan to throw a housewarming party. Do I throw it myself?

My neighbors are curious about the house, also. I was thinking of having an open house, where I set a time -- say, 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. -- and offer some finger foods and let everyone come and go.

Some friends said I should register at a few stores in case someone wants to bring a gift. I do not want to look like a bride or anything. But I lost 34 years of possessions, my five cats and a bit of my mind. And insurance doesn’t begin to cover those losses.

GENTLE READER: What you went through is heartbreaking. It sounds, however, as if you are seeking permission, not advice -- permission to treat your friends as supplemental insurance.

If, out of their kindness and feeling for you, they wish to send you any unsolicited presents, you will, of course, respond with an effusive letter of thanks. But the commitment they make as friends is to emotional, not financial, support. And a registry is an announcement that you expect people to buy what you need. (And yes, that goes for brides, too.)

You can throw your housewarming party in whichever form, and at whatever time, you prefer, without any fear that you are putting a burden on the friendship.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son’s best friend is rude. Today he told our daughter, “Shut up, no one wants to hear your singing” when she was humming in OUR playroom. He regularly contradicts me in normal conversation, and when his father came to pick him up after his last visit, the child told his father, “You suck.”

We want our son to have friends, and we want those friends to be welcome in our house, but this is not acceptable language.

What is an appropriate approach to his boorish behavior? I simply cannot allow him to be unkind to our daughter while he is in our house.

GENTLE READER: Nor should you. The distinction to be made is that while the friend is in your house, he is expected to abide by your rules -- which include treating one another with respect.

Miss Manners trusts that you know how to convey this to young Liam, since you are rearing two children of your own. But remember that you have met the fruit, and the tree is likely nearby: A father who accepts such a rude comment from his son without comment is capable of complaining about supposed maltreatment by you toward said son.

Should that occur, your response will be that your family adores it when Liam comes over to play, and that you were only intervening because the rules at your house are different from those to which he must be accustomed. And you will, of course, remind Ethan that when he visits Liam, he must respect the rules of Liam’s house.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Traditionally in our company, when co-workers are leaving, we all sign a card, get a gift and take said co-worker out to lunch as a team. But amid quarantine, with us all working from home, what would be the appropriate protocol to celebrate our co-worker before her last day?

GENTLE READER: A luncheon.

It was always the employer’s responsibility to honor a retiring employee with a laudatory party, but some years ago, many refused to spend the money, leaving the remaining employees to supply both the appreciation and the expense. Miss Manners always thought it a disgrace to shift the obligation of recognizing service to the retiree’s colleagues.

But at least it won’t cost you anything, as the luncheon will, of course, be virtual.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I had been in my brand-new home for less than a year, I was excited to welcome occasional guests. While most were a delight, a few surprised me.

On one occasion, some adult guests left barefoot footprints on the wall -- not very dark; it must have been from oils in the skin.

The other guest that surprised me was a 20-year-old extended family member, who tied my guest room drapes and sheers into large knots! The window coverings are brand-new, and I had just completed pressing and hanging them prior to the visit.

I was astonished, and asked her why she had done this. She replied weakly that she likes to do that for more light. The panels are on the side of the window (not blocking any light), and the sheers are voile, which creates a lovely light. In addition, there is a large two-way lamp on the bed stand, and the ceiling is filled with pot lights.

After she left, we spent an entire day taking the drapes and sheers down, and rewashing and ironing them all. I know she is immature and meant no harm, and the footprint gang was probably relaxing and may not have even known they left prints. But I do not want to risk any more mistreatment of my house.

I have no problem making it crystal clear to the young woman that next time, there will be no tying of draperies. But I don’t see a clear plan of action for the footprint gang.

I will probably be asked to host again in the future, which I would be glad to do if I could be sure they would not do something like this. We worked hard and waited a long time to have a nice house -- including the love and laughter of friends.

Is there any solution for me? I understand accidents. But these non-accidents, not so much.

GENTLE READER: Here is what Miss Manners does not understand: How did those adults leave footprints on the wall?

Had they been watching old Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers movies, and were trying to dance up to your ceiling? (You may have to ask your guests that question, if you can do so with a tone of fond amusement, showing no irritation.)

You do seem to have had unusually active guests. Still, all hosts must face the fact that guests will cause a certain amount of wear, and that any damage beyond that must be addressed tactfully. That means that past problems may be mentioned to repeat guests: “Remember, you can have light here without wrinkling the curtains.” And perhaps a cheerfully delivered, “Remember, no dancing on the walls.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a tight-knit community comprised of mostly seniors, with about 20 homes on a street that ends in cul-de-sac. It’s the sort of community where neighbors look in on one another and take care of each other, and where very little goes unnoticed.

A good friend who lives several houses away phoned to say that he was sick with what he suspected was the flu, and that he needed help. Due to the possibility of COVID-19, I did as much as I could without actually entering his house, including leaving food and medicine on his doorstep.

When his health did not improve, I felt it was necessary to call an ambulance, which arrived with sirens blaring and lights flashing, drawing the attention of everyone in the vicinity. He was taken to the hospital, where he luckily tested negative for COVID-19, but he had suffered a small stroke, all of which he recounted to me.

My neighbors, of course, were anxious to know what had happened and descended on me for answers, and I told them what I knew. When I spoke to my friend in the hospital later, he told me that he appreciated my help, that it had been all right to tell people that he had tested negative for the virus, but that I should not have disclosed the fact that he’d had a stroke.

Now that my friend is in rehab, people are asking me about his condition, putting me in an awkward position. What should I do from now on without either violating my friend’s privacy or embarrassing those who are expressing concern?

By the way, I did not sign on to be a press secretary, particularly one doing a bad job!

GENTLE READER: Having cared for your neighbor in these crises, you can honorably resign. If he is well enough to criticize, Miss Manners would consider him well enough to take charge of his health reports, or to designate someone else to do so.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My insurance company requested that I call, in order to go over the medications I’ve been taking. When I did so, I’d expected to talk to a person. Instead, I was ensnared in a phone tree commanded by a robotic but subtly female voice I’ll call the Robot Lady.

The first question came, and I was told to answer with either “Yes” or “No, thanks.” I simply said “No” and the Robot Lady replied, “I didn’t quite get that.” I tried again, with the same response. When I finally said “No, thanks,” the Robot Lady proceeded to the next question.

Are we required to be polite to mindless robots? And are the mindless robots being impolite in refusing a simple “no”? Should I start getting chummy with the ATM machine?

GENTLE READER: Apparently even the robots are feeling offended at being addressed as “Hey.” Miss Manners has complained about that, too, as she believes it to be creating bad habits.

But she is not ready to welcome your Robot Lady into the etiquette instruction business. She should not be pointing out the omissions of others, but if she does, she should go the whole way and require “Yes, please,” as well as “No, thank you.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)