DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do I say to my son, who didn’t acknowledge my birthday? Mind you, I walk his dog every day!

GENTLE READER: Attach a balloon to the dog with a note that reads, “Wish your mother a happy birthday.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am not good at winding spaghetti on a fork. Is it gauche to discreetly cut it with a fork when eating it?

GENTLE READER: How discreetly? Cutting spaghetti can lead to other problems, like wandering pieces of different lengths that stick out and don’t quite adhere to the fork. Instead, Miss Manners suggests that you use this time of minimal socialization to practice winding small amounts at a time.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Last week, I visited my brother and his wife. They have two boys, aged 10 and 13. They kindly bought everyone dinner -- pizza and wings, nothing formal or fancy. Just a nice little family get-together with the kids.

My sister-in-law, instead of providing us all with paper napkins, gave everyone either a washcloth or a clean, but formerly used, cloth diaper. And I didn’t even get my own cloth diaper -- I had to share one with my son (also 10)!

It’s fine if she wants to save paper, and fine if she wants to use these for napkins when company is not present -- but even for an informal meal such as this, was her choice of napkins inappropriate?

My mother has bought them lovely cloth napkins in the past, but they never get used.

I really didn’t want to wipe my mouth with a cloth diaper. What should my appropriate response have been? And how can I avoid this in the future?

GENTLE READER: Bring your sister-in-law a hostess present: more napkins. “I noticed that you ran out of napkins last time, so I thought you might like these.” Miss Manners suggests that you then quickly distribute them before your hostess has the chance to protest.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When, if ever, is it appropriate to inquire into the unelaborated use of “we” in conversation? What if “we” has been invoked multiple times by the same speaker?

I gather that such usage by an acquaintance (and on more than one occasion, a longtime colleague) is usually meant to conceal details, but not hide the existence of a close personal relationship, particularly when the speaker is not certain the liaison would be acceptable to the hearer.

Since I would only inquire in order to make the conversation friendlier or our acquaintance closer -- for example, inviting “them” to a cocktail party or encouraging the speaker to be more expansive about the trip “they’ve” just taken -- could I ask about “we”? Depending on the circumstances, would it be acceptable to ask something like, “Are you traveling with a friend?” or “You just mentioned ‘we’ -- do you have a partner?”

GENTLE READER: Certainly. Or a coy, “Who is this ‘we’ of which you speak?” if you know the person well.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband committed suicide. It has been an unbearable tragedy. Generally, I have not kept his cause of death a secret. If I have to tell a close friend, I will tell them that he took his own life. If I have to tell a business acquaintance, I’m more likely to say he died unexpectedly. In general, I don’t tell anyone the morbid details.

I recently saw an acquaintance who I’ve been friendly with, and whom I only see once or twice a month. I hadn’t seen her since this occurred. She made a small innocent joke about my husband. I paused for a moment and said, “You couldn’t have known this, but he died.” She was of course shocked, and said, “Are you kidding me?” I assured her I wasn’t and she was very apologetic.

I felt terrible, and I think she felt terrible, too. There truly wasn’t any way she could have known. But I didn’t feel that it was fair not to say something.

I’m writing to ask how I might have better handled the situation. How and when should I inform people about the situation in a considerate way?

GENTLE READER: Was there no obituary? These are helpful in spreading the news, but so are close relatives or friends. But for anyone who still did not hear about it, Miss Manners finds your wording extremely tactful. Your friend asking if this devastating news was somehow a joke, however, was not.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live on a short cul-de-sac of six homes that is nestled within a larger neighborhood. My husband and I take walks several times a day.

During many of our evening walks, we see a young family with two children: One is in a stroller, and the other is about 4 or 5. On several occasions, we have walked down the cul-de-sac to our home to find this couple and their child playing basketball at the mobile hoop that is set up outside on the street.

These people do not live on this street and, to my knowledge, are not friendly with anyone who does. Am I being irritated for no reason, or is this rude behavior?

They seem nice, but I just can’t believe that they actually bring a basketball on their walks so that they can play with someone else’s equipment. I guess I thought that’s what public playgrounds and parks were for.

GENTLE READER: Strike up a conversation -- then they will no longer be strangers. In the current climate, Miss Manners is inclined to be indulgent about sharing even semi-public facilities, when options are so limited. As long as the family is respectful of the equipment and cleans up after themselves, it would be kind to let them use it without fuss. If it becomes the site for a birthday party or family reunion, however, you may politely step in and inform them that it is private property.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We bought a tabletop patio heater for a friend. Should we assemble it before we give it to them, or leave it in the box?

GENTLE READER: The latter. It is much harder to return the assembled version if you find that your friend prefers the tabletop cold.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While my mom is terminally ill and under home hospice care, my siblings and I have been having trouble coming up with appropriate responses to conventional inquiries.

Close friends know what is going on. We assume that a casual “How are you?” from a colleague or acquaintance is not an invitation to open the subject, so we have been responding with the conventional “fine.” The problem is with people who were between those categories: those who might have met our mom at some time, or who might casually ask, “How are your folks?”

We don’t want people to be blindsided when she dies. Yet answering “How’s your mom?” with ”She’s dying” seems a little harsh, and “She’s under hospice care” seems to give too much information.

Would “She’s gravely ill” be appropriate? We assume that we should then direct the conversation into neutral channels so we don’t overwhelm the questioner.

GENTLE READER: You are right, given the situation, not to treat this as the typical, “How are you doing?” Miss Manners does not want you to have to answer questions, six months later, about what you meant when you said your mother was “fine.”

The honest -- and proper -- response is, “Thank you for asking. She is not doing well.” Your demeanor -- including how quickly you change the subject -- will cue the astute listener not to ask the obvious follow-up question. Even the less-than-astute listener will grasp the implications of the follow-up answer: “She’s in hospice care.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received an invitation several months ago to the wedding of a close family friend, which was supposed to take place in the spring. We sent our regrets, as we had a conflict with the wedding date.

Flash forward, and the wedding has been postponed due to social distancing regulations. We’ve learned from family members who originally sent their acceptances that they have received new invitations to a new wedding date later this year. Those who had originally declined, however, have not received invitations to the new date.

I don’t begrudge the bride and groom in the slightest, as this is unfortunate all around. But it did make me wonder: Does etiquette have a guideline for who gets invited to a postponed party? Should all original invitees receive a new invitation, especially those who couldn’t originally attend due to a date conflict? Or should only those who originally accepted be invited the second time around?

GENTLE READER: Accepting (or declining) an invitation is not, Miss Manners frequently reminds everyone, a conditional act. “I won’t come unless you uninvite my ex-husband,” ”I’ll come if I can bring my own food” and “I can’t come because I have a hair appointment that day” are all improper, if not equally so.

The happy couple are therefore within their rights not to reissue invitations that were previously declined merely because the date, the location and the entree (though not, perhaps, the bridegroom) have changed. This does not, however, inoculate them against the unpleasantness that will follow the discovery of their change of heart, which is why starting from the beginning is often preferable.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)