DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine from school loves to post pictures of her 15-year-old daughter doing cheerleading poses. I get it, she's very proud of her daughter -- there's nothing wrong with that.

But I've noticed she likes to post pictures of her teenage daughter doing jumps in the air with her legs wide open, practically over her head -- zoomed in, front and center. These aren't faraway shots from the bleachers, but extremely up-close.

The problem is, you can clearly see her daughter's crotch up-close and personal in each of these pics. And she's always wearing her cheerleading outfit.

I'm not a prude at all, but find this to be very inappropriate. Why does she think this is OK? She has over 500 friends on social media, both male and female, and her account is public. Should I just ignore this, or bring it to her attention?

GENTLE READER: How about bringing it to the attention of the daughter? Or at least emphasizing that your friend should be asking for her consent to post these pictures? "Is your daughter really all right with you getting so many ... ahem ... close-up shots of her?"

Miss Manners realizes that this may well spark friction in the family -- or worse, it may not -- but at least all parties will have been warned of what exactly is on display. And if the social media platform takes them down for lewdness, they will know why.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My great-aunt passed away earlier this year. I am the executor of her estate.

I have started to receive communications from people who knew her and who had given her Christmas and birthday gifts over the years, asking to have these things returned to them.

I'm at a bit of a loss here. I've never heard of such a thing! When I give a gift to someone, it's theirs to do with as they wish. I have no further claim to it.

I have had to explain that the estate has gone through probate, all bequests have been honored and their name was not included in the will. Some become very insistent that I contact whoever has the item in question and ask them to "return" it. I decline.

I think this is incredibly tacky. Am I wrong? Is there a better way to handle this?

GENTLE READER: What a lovely way to express condolences: "Sorry you're dead. Now gimme back my stuff."

Of course you are in the right. And since this is a legal matter of possession, Miss Manners finds it perfectly within your rights to say so. Or to pass the unpleasant task off to the estate attorney.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister has five kids. Four are lovely: They each have their own quirks, but have always been polite and helpful.

Her fifth child is a terror. He is now a teenager and he has severe food restriction issues, for which my sister refuses to get him consistent help.

My sister and I each host three family events per year, and we have lots of food restrictions in the group (pescatarian, no sugar, gluten free). I am always able to do something creative that hits all the restrictions, or I do easy side accommodations (e.g., gluten-free bread for some of the bruschetta).

Accommodating the teenager's restrictions is difficult. There can be no vegetables or herbs. Chicken fingers, pizza and plain meat are the only options. I make entirely separate meals that meet his limits for events, but I am still met with rudeness and anger.

We recently had this 15-year-old demand specific brands of hot dogs, buns and mustard. That meant I had to juggle two different hot dog orders, buns and condiments on a grill in 90-degree weather -- none of which were materially different (beef hot dogs, white buns, yellow mustard).

I was screamed at because the chips my sister brought were not put in the right place on the buffet: The teenager had to pass by a plate of vegetables to reach the chips, which caused a fit. Clearly this is an illness, but he also never says thank you, never offers to help, and is aggressively rude.

I feel the need to have a stern talk with the kid next time he is rude with me. I wasn't born with a saddle on my back, and this kid wasn't born with spurs to ride me. Is it OK to give a 15-year-old the straight feedback that he is being rude?

GENTLE READER: Since you are aware it is an illness, you might approach your sister before attempting a more radical approach: "I don't seem to be able to please Damian, but I don't want to risk angering him further by pointing that out. What methods have been successful for you?"

If she comes up empty and you want to try being more direct, Miss Manners suggests you take the boy aside and kindly say, "This may work in your house, but it will not in mine. I'm afraid that when you are here, as long as we are meeting your medical restrictions, you will eat what we offer in whatever manner it is laid out. A vegetable never scared a donkey away from riding it."

Perhaps Miss Manners had better leave the folksy proverbs to you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If a party is being held in someone's backyard, unvaccinated people could just show up. What does one do when uninvited guests show up at a party?

GENTLE READER: "I am so sorry, but for the safety of everyone, we are limiting our gathering to a certain number of people. We would love to see you another time."

This, Miss Manners assumes, is in the case of uninvited neighbors or friends brought by your guests. If they are strangers, then you have her permission to call upon higher authorities.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An old and dear friend texted me an invitation to her daughter's birthday party a day after the "please RSVP by" date, with no explanation for the delay. Clearly we didn't make the original guest list, and were being invited to fill in when others couldn't attend.

We have kids similar in age and were maids-of-honor at each other's weddings, so I don't want to make a big stink about it, but I can't help but feel this is incredibly rude. Is there a polite way to inquire about why we weren't invited in the first place?

GENTLE READER: Finding polite ways to elicit, or at least court, impolite responses is sometimes unavoidable. "Do you still love me?" and "Is that what you are going to wear?" come to mind.

But Miss Manners urges you to avoid asking questions, polite or otherwise, to which you have already guessed -- but do not like -- the answer.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few years ago, my wife and I combined our business with that of some friends of ours. Our combined efforts have been very successful. Seeing as we are business owners, our free time is very limited. We have very few weekends off; most are spent working.

Before we combined businesses, my wife and I had a robust social life and some well-developed hobbies. We have lots of friends, and used to do many things with them. It is something that we miss terribly.

Our business partners (and close friends) do not have the number of friends we do, and really have no interests outside of the business. They plan recreational activities for the four of us months ahead of time, with the result that my wife and I never have the opportunity to do our own things. We are spending every single weekend with them!

They are very excited to do these activities, but my wife and I would really prefer to take these rare days off and spend them with our other friends we rarely see. Is there any possible way to express that we would like to spend time with our other friends without hurting their feelings?

GENTLE READER: When your partners announce their intention to plan something, gently tell them you are busy. Miss Manners has to believe that, as business owners, they know that people occasionally need time off. And that, as business owners, you are so used to "talking tough," "telling it like it is," "being straight with people" -- and other timeworn, aggressive activities of the American business community -- that saying, "no, thank you," should not be too challenging.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend, a good person who is financially better off than me, constantly overtips on our lunch dates.

Maybe it's just me being insecure, but I feel bad for tipping 22% when she is tipping almost 60%. Is it me?

GENTLE READER: As more and more parties split the bill, Miss Manners agrees we need a rule to avoid the problem you describe. The rule is this: It is impolite to inquire into another person's tip.

Without that knowledge, you may then feel bad, or not, in private.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)