DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a widow who remarried a few years ago. My husband is a tall, handsome professional. My brother's wife, who is slightly younger than I, likes to get attention from any men around and, it seems, has set her sights on my new husband.

On several occasions, when she is annoyed at my brother, my sister-in-law has remarked that she will "go sit with," "go be with" or "ride home with" my husband because "he will have me." It makes it very awkward for my husband, my brother and me.

I am insulted both on my brother's behalf and at her insinuation that my husband is somehow available. Could you suggest a humorous but pointed remark that will quash this behavior and not cause too much embarrassment all around?

GENTLE READER: "Oh, ha ha, he's not getting in the middle of this. Come, dear, let me recuse you and let these two work things out on their own."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an artisan who makes my living exhibiting at craft fairs, and I enjoy it very much. However, sometimes collectors seem to think they have developed a close connection with me once they buy my work. These (rare, but troublesome) people will ask me to dinner, give me life advice, want to talk on the phone, and generally push for more friendship than I would like to offer.

I have a tough time putting these people off, because they are collectors of my artwork. Also, it is flattering that I seem so interesting to them.

Do you have any suggestions for how to cultivate an "air of reserve and mystery" and discourage excessive friendliness, while still being a good salesperson?

GENTLE READER: Small talk should be just that: small, and only relevant to the business at hand. Inquiries into your personal life should be met with short answers and quickly redirected to the work and the exhibition.

But Miss Manners has noticed that you are not alone in finding it difficult to distinguish between business and personal life. You have an advantage that many do not, however, which is a work location different from your home. Establishing a business-only email and phone number might be wise. That way, if personal talk or too-familiar requests begin to intrude, you may politely say, "This line (or inbox) is for work. Is there something art-related that I can answer for you?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A birthday boy asked me for a gift card as his birthday present. I got him the gift card. A day later, he asked me for the receipt. Should I give him the receipt? I think this is tactless and unkind when I shopped for what he asked for.

GENTLE READER: Is it possible he cannot figure out how much it is worth? Usually the amount is displayed somewhere, but perhaps this one's is missing. If you think this might be the case and the boy is not old or clever enough to look it up himself, you might indulge him by telling him the amount. But if you suspect that this is a plot to return it for the money, Miss Manners gives you permission to decline the request. There are only so many demands one can accommodate when it comes to present giving. And this boy has already exceeded it by two.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have gotten texts from people asking me to call them when I have the time. I know that these people genuinely think they are being helpful and do not want to bother me when I am busy.

However, I do not see it this way. I think if a person wants to speak with me, they should call. If I am available, I will answer. If not, they can leave a message and I will call them back. The text method feels like they are putting the burden of initiating the call on me, when they are the ones who want to speak with me.

Am I justified in this point of view, or am I way off base?

GENTLE READER: Emotionally, your reaction is understandable. You feel that the texters have assigned you homework, while your reaction to the message-leavers is ameliorated by regret that you were unavailable when they wanted to speak with you.

Miss Manners says this as a gentle preface to pointing out that, for the reasons you gave, the text is less intrusive -- and therefore more respectful -- than barging in on someone, assuming constant availability.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have two young kids. For their birthdays and Christmas over the past few years, my sister-in-law has been giving my kids used/outgrown toys and clothes from her daughter, who is older than my kids.

She is not struggling financially. Is it acceptable to give hand-me-downs as gifts?

GENTLE READER: Strictly speaking, hand-me-downs are gifts, even if the expectation is that they will be passed to the cousins on the other side after use, laundering and folding.

But what level of gift? Miss Manners recognizes she is unusual in valuing a gift by the thought and effort of the gift-giver, not its resale value. But under either standard, hand-me-downs are not generally as meaningful a gift as might be expected for a birthday or holiday.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were waiting in an airport lounge before an early morning flight. It was a quiet crowd. A man in his 40s answered a call from his lawyer on his cellphone, then proceeded to loudly rant and rave about his ex-wife and their custody battle.

Five of us around him got up and moved after 10 minutes. My husband stayed for a few more minutes and politely told the gentleman that taking a private call interrupted everyone's calm, and maybe next time he could take the call away from others. The man sneered at my husband and continued the call.

What else could we have done?

GENTLE READER: Stronger measures are necessary when communicating with someone who has just learned that the ex-wife is demanding the sports car as well as the children: "Sir, excuse me for interrupting, but you might not want everyone in the lounge to hear that you are hiding money in your Aruba account."

Miss Manners is borrowing the Caribbean island for an example, not a metaphor: The effect you are going for is fear, so you will want to include something you actually overheard.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one properly express condolences when you are told that a distant family member, who abused you and whom you loathe, has died?

"I'm sorry for your loss" seems wrong. I'm not.

"I hope he didn't suffer." That wouldn't be sincere; I kinda hope he did, a little. "Is there anything I can do?" Nope, the family was complicit in their denial of the abuse. I don't want to help them at all.

Silence isn't an option. It would be noticed and questioned and I would end up looking like an insensitive jerk. What to do?

GENTLE READER: Although she can help you, Miss Manners cautions against too much self-congratulation over your intention to be sincere. You want the words you speak to be true, but the impression you leave to be false -- namely that you are sensitive to their loss.

Very well: "Thank you for letting me know. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. My condolences." Perhaps it would compromise you too much to offer your "deepest condolences."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband's dentist called, mumbled something about a dental practice, and asked, "Mr. Jones?"

Because I am female, and because I thought it was a telemarketer, I asked, "Do I sound like Mr. Jones?" and the lady said "Sorry" and hung up. When my husband got home, I told him what had happened and he called them back.

A few days later, they called again, asking for Joseph Jones. At least they asked for him by his full name this time, but again I thought it was a telemarketer, so I asked, "Who is calling?" before giving my husband the phone.

I told him later that they should really learn telephone etiquette, and he said "S'not my job." So I took it on myself and wrote them a letter explaining what had happened, and saying I hoped it was more helpful than rude.

However, when I gave the letter to my husband to proofread, he said not to send it, and that it was more rude than helpful.

Is he right? I don't expect them to write to Miss Manners anytime soon. But I'm not going to tell just anyone who calls, asking for my husband, whether he's home or not.

GENTLE READER: Difficult as it is to comment on your draft letter to the dentist without being allowed to read it, Miss Manners will try.

The dentist's office called and mistook you for him. When they received a sarcastic reply, they apologized and hung up (perhaps thinking they were being told your husband was not home?).

When they called back, they guessed at a different form of your husband's name that might be more acceptable than the one previously used. You asked who was calling, and they answered.

You have now drafted a letter to correct their manners. As Miss Manners has yet to hear any infraction of etiquette committed by anyone at the dentist's office -- and as correcting another person's manners (even a telemarketer's) is, itself, rude -- she will, barring further information, agree with your husband that the letter should not be sent.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)