DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a single woman in my late 20s, I receive frequent unwanted "compliments" about my appearance from men, which make me uncomfortable. These men are either complete strangers or mere acquaintances. I am sure they think they are being nice, but I am upset by their presumption.

What is a good response to a comment like "You look beautiful," or to being called "dear" or "hon" by someone I don't even know? I never know what to do in the moment, and I'm afraid I'll come across as overly intense if I try to educate them on why it's not OK to assume that women want to hear those things from men.

I have also had total strangers, one of whom was 40-plus years my senior, inquire about my relationship status point-blank in a public place. I was so shocked I didn't know how to respond.

GENTLE READER: Good. The best way to express shock and insult is to be shocked and insulted. Look scandalized, surprised and slightly angry, which shouldn't be difficult, and keep your mouth shut, which might be.

Most men will feel bad if they think they have misbehaved. Too many, when you begin to educate them, will instead conclude you are a bore and a pedant -- or that you just want to keep talking to them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I deal with others who breathe down my neck while waiting in line? I always wear face shields in stores and stay a respectful 6 to 12 feet behind those in front of me, but those behind me are often far less aware or courteous.

GENTLE READER: Let them go first, observing -- and you must say this without any hint of sarcasm or spite -- that they "seem to be in a hurry." It will make your wait a trifle longer, but it will gain the distance you want with the added bonus of highlighting the other person's transgression.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 29-year-old daughter has become engaged to the love of her life. Her mother, from whom I am divorced and who lives in another state, has a local friend who reached out to my daughter. This friend called and left a message saying that she wanted to "come by and drop off a card" (presumably congratulations).

My daughter has not seen this person in many years and has virtually no memory of her. From an etiquette standpoint, she would have to invite the woman inside to facilitate the transfer of the card and sharing of any niceties. However, she really does not want to do this, nor even meet with this person.

What is the proper way to tell the woman "thanks but no thanks"? We don't understand why she wouldn't just mail the card in the first place.

GENTLE READER: Have your daughter call back and, while discussing a mutually convenient time, repeatedly apologize for how crazy things are with all the wedding planning.

This will be both disarming and believable, allowing your daughter to propose times that are both far off and inconvenient. Miss Manners recommends against the full-scale theatrics of pretending there are other people in the room clamoring for your daughter's attention.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I need to find a way to convey to my clients that they need to stop calling me.

I'm fine having a long initial phone call or two at the start of the job. But some of them, mostly those over age 60, insist on calling with every little change. Of course, they want to chit-chat for 15 minutes, too.

I've told them: 1. I want emails, so that we both have a written record of the requested changes; 2. I work on 12 to 20 different jobs each day, and will get to theirs as soon as I am able; and 3. My phone is always muted so as not to distract me.

If they call repeatedly and leave tons of messages, I am LESS likely to call back because I am so irritated. I find their assumption that I will drop everything immediately to attend to their job rude and presumptuous. Also, as nice as these clients are, if I had 15 minutes to shoot the breeze on the phone, it would be with a real friend.

I get that some of these people are bored or lonely, but entertaining them isn't part of my job. On the whole, I respond via email to any phone messages and add the occasional reminder about calls not being ideal. But they just keep calling!

Any other ideas on how to convey this nicely, but firmly?

GENTLE READER: If Miss Manners had to guess, she would say that you are a doctor, a plumber or some other profession without whom other people think they cannot survive. No one in sales would be so openly indifferent to customer service (as distinct from the actual work).

You could, nevertheless, benefit from a more positive pitch. Every customer is important to you -- so important that you make it a policy: 1. not to interrupt a job by taking nonemergency calls; 2. to document everything, so as to minimize mistakes and miscommunications; and 3. to respond promptly, if briefly, to customer emails.

Putting it this way will save you from having to defend why you do things the way you do. But what will really make a difference is demonstrating to customers that an email is the only way to get a quick response.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is at the age when she is being invited to a lot of weddings, some of which are out of town. She has a job, but her budget is limited, and some of these invitations require her to pay for travel and lodging. This means she is not able to give as generous a gift as she might to a couple whose wedding is local.

She worries that it is rude to attend the out-of-town events and give a smaller gift, rather than skip the travel and send a more generous gift. Is there any guiding rule here?

GENTLE READER: That the thoughtfulness of the gift, not its cost, is all that matters to a right-thinking bride whose wedding is worth attending.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few years ago, a prominent man in my industry was in town, and in a position to work with me. It would have been a career-making opportunity -- and, to be frank, he was influential enough to damage my career, as well, if he so chose.

He explained that he would be otherwise occupied all day and could only meet me at his hotel -- after 10 p.m. He would be leaving the following day, so he could only see me then, face to face, to discuss working together.

I was understandably reluctant, yet he insisted the meeting could only be at his hotel. This seemed like something of a red flag. I could not find someone to accompany me, and my friends all urged me not to go under the circumstances. I ended up declining, and have always had some painful feelings about it. My discomfort with being placed in that position tainted what limited interactions we had after that.

Even if the visit had been uneventful, he's a married man, and had we been seen together at that time of night at his hotel, it would have led to speculation and done harm to both our professional reputations. If we had met previously, or if there had not been such a massive power gap, I could possibly see taking that meeting. But with a man I had never met, it seemed like a very bad idea.

Was this a normal, reasonable thing to ask, and I was simply being a prude? Should I have gone?

GENTLE READER: Do you not read the news? Or are you basing this scenario on a notorious case that happened to someone else?

Miss Manners assures you that whatever pain one could feel about this missed opportunity would be nothing compared to the negative feelings had the situation been taken advantage of.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At holiday gatherings, I often see a relative with whom I have an uneasy relationship. I am striving to make things friendlier between us.

Frequently, when I say something that I think is innocuous, such as, "There is an exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum in New York," he immediately fires back with, "I know where the Metropolitan Museum is!" as if I had insulted his intelligence.

First, how can I keep a know-it-all watch on myself, so that I avoid every appearance of condescension? And second, how can I respond to him in the manner most likely to mollify his feelings?

GENTLE READER: Your relative is indulging in what is known as insult collecting: searching for insult where obviously none was intended. Some people are quite skilled at this, and can turn the most innocuous remarks into a grievance.

But you know that. You also know that censoring yourself will not help; the merest pleasantry can be taken for sarcasm.

So you should be bracing yourself to say, "Of course you know more about museums than I do, but I just wanted to be clear. Are there other Metropolitan Museums in the world"?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)