DEAR MISS MANNERS: I teach at a university, and often communicate with student athletes about upcoming absences due to various sporting events. I want to wish them well in their upcoming competitions.

What is the best way to do this? I am tempted to say "Good luck in the game this weekend" or something similar. But in many cases, these are athletes who work hard to perform at very high levels. I wonder if wishing them luck might diminish their hard work, talent and skill.

GENTLE READER: Only if they are reeeally looking for an insult. Or if, as with the theater world, saying "good luck" is actually bad luck. However, Miss Manners does not recommend the traditional theatrical saying -- "Break a leg!" -- to athletes, for obvious reasons.

"Have a great game!" seems innocent enough. Let us stick with that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was hosting my mother-in-law for the weekend for my daughter's first birthday party, which I held at my house on a Saturday. I am a working mom who does a fair amount of overtime, both in and out of the home, but I still decorated extensively for the party and made all the food from scratch, in addition to planning homemade meals for my houseguests.

My mother-in-law warned me in advance that all she needs to be happy is a steady supply of coffee. I tried to accommodate this to the best of my ability, but I was extremely busy the day of the party.

My other set of in-laws (my husband's father and stepmother) were staying at a hotel, but they came by the morning of the party and helped set up. My mother-in-law socialized from the couch for a good seven hours leading up to the party.

Not more than a half-hour into the fete, my mother-in-law suddenly and loudly announced that she was leaving to get herself a special energy drink. I was appalled and hurt. I had worked so hard to create a fun and comfortable environment for my guests, but she felt she couldn't sit through my baby's party without her little treat.

When I tried to vent about this situation on a moms' forum, I got attacked and told it's not that big of a deal to leave a party and get your caffeine fix. But my mother-in-law had all day to do this. Instead, she waited until the party started.

What am I meant to think?

GENTLE READER: You are meant to think -- by certain parties, at least -- that the one solitary bit of happiness that your poor mother-in-law requested, you were too preoccupied to provide.

In Miss Manners' estimation, your mistake is two-fold: caring that much about your mother-in-law's overdramatic errand announcement, and then trying to validate your hurt feelings through social media.

As you may never make either one happy, Miss Manners recommends you cease trying so hard -- and enjoy the guests who stayed.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my spouse and I attended a neighborhood party, we began a conversation with a woman we had never met. A few minutes into our conversation, a neighbor approached us -- someone known to us but not the woman.

This neighbor is known to have serious mental health issues and an addiction to alcohol. When we introduced him to the woman we had just met, he quickly replied with an extremely rude and inappropriate remark directed at her. She immediately left us. We stood there in shocked silence for a minute or so, then excused ourselves as well.

A few minutes later, I saw the woman standing alone. I approached her and explained the situation with the neighbor, without too much detail. I also offered an "apology" of sorts. She was most understanding, and we proceeded to chat about more pleasant things.

Was I correct in offering an explanation, thus discussing another person's medical issues?

GENTLE READER: One hears the phrase "full disclosure" so much these days that it is natural to forget there is any other kind.

Miss Manners agrees with all of your actions except that she would have substituted a genuine apology for the "'apology' of sorts" -- and omitted the neighbor's medical history. His health problems are not yours to tell, and accepting partial responsibility for his misbehavior is even more generous when unbacked by medical justifications.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am planning a once-in-a-lifetime river cruise with a close friend of 45 years. We will be sharing a cabin or hotel room for 11 days. We have both struggled with health issues in the past year -- myself with cancer, currently in remission, and my friend with shoulder surgery.

She is obese, has Type 2 diabetes and had bypass surgery about four years ago. I am working out daily to build my strength and endurance for this trip, which is happening in seven months. My friend talks about working with a personal trainer to get ready, but has not increased her activity level to date. I am concerned she will not be as physically prepared for excursions as I will, and I do not want to sit and watch the world pass us by because she needs to rest more frequently.

As a travel mate, am I required to reduce my activities and choose excursions at her level? Is it rude of me to push ahead with more active members of the group on outings, leaving her with the slower members?

I am not worried about her being alone, as she is very outgoing and warm, and I am sure she will make many friends as we travel. However, I do not want to damage our friendship.

GENTLE READER: There is an assumption, presumably mutual, that some portion of the vacation is to be spent together. But as you are neither the host nor a caregiver, Miss Manners agrees that some portion can also be spent apart.

Ideally your friend agrees, and you will be able to ask if she minds if you skip ahead this time, confident that she will graciously encourage you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When texting or emailing friends or clients, I often start off with "Good morning" or "How are you?" and end with "Have a great day."

I always get short, right-to-the-point answers back, like "OK," and they don't usually start with "Good morning" or end with "Have a good day." So sometimes, I sarcastically reply "Good morning to me, too," which I know people don't like.

Am I too sensitive? I am old-school and I just think people are being rude. They can say a little more than "Be there" or something like that. Maybe my expectations are too high and I won't expect as much anymore.

GENTLE READER: An excess of sensitivity would not be Miss Manners' diagnosis after you admitted to the sarcastic barb.

In the hope of preventing the next one, let her point out that different methods of communication carry with them different expectations about brevity. While she agrees it would be unmannerly not to say hello to someone to whom you have just been introduced in a social setting, she would prefer to dispense with the prelude when warning someone about a fast-approaching car.

Texts fall somewhere in between.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I travel a fair amount to see our family and friends across the U.S. and to see the sights. I am traveling with a girlfriend this spring, and the trip will put us within an hour and a half of my brother-in-law's home.

My husband thinks I should invite his brother and his family to join us for dinner one night. (They do not know my friend.) This is a constant discussion topic with my husband: When is it proper to visit others when you are nearby? He has suggested we travel as far as five hours away from the group/place we are visiting to see other people or to visit distant acquaintances.

What is the proper protocol for this? I just want to visit the people we arranged to see, or go to the event we planned to attend, without running all over the state to see family, friends and people we haven't seen or heard from in decades.

GENTLE READER: The protocol for such visits is to make sure the distant relative will be there when you arrive and wants to see you. Or even knows that you are in the area.

But what you really want to know is: How far is too far? To that, Miss Manners is forced to answer with a question of her own: How much do you want to see them?

When your husband and you disagree, she has some guidelines. The side trips should not consume a significant portion of the total trip time; trips favored by one party should be balanced by trips favored by the other party -- or by decisions to forgo such excursions; and parties who are not on the trip have to accept the traveling party's decision graciously.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)