DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don't list my birthday on social media because I don't want it recognized. Somebody wished me a happy birthday on my page anyway, and only four people responded. Embarrassing to no end! However, I can see that the post was viewed by at least 20 of my family members, who did not respond.

My irritation is that these same family members will send me birth, graduation and wedding announcements, requiring me to give a gift. I think it was insulting to not at least write a line wishing me a good day.

How should I now answer their own announcements?

GENTLE READER: Uh. What happened to not wanting to have your birthday recognized?

Is it possible that those 20 family members knew that you do not like birthday attention and were merely adhering to your wishes? Or is it just more fun to resent their acknowledging their own milestones -- considering them blatant gift grabs and unseemly cries for attention -- because you would never stoop that low?

Regardless, Miss Manners does not suggest that you have to reply to their announcements -- just that you appreciate the irony.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am fortunate to be invited to many showers (baby and wedding) for younger family members. I am elderly and on a very limited income. I don't have any skills such as knitting, crocheting, etc.

Could you please suggest some gifts that would be welcome and appreciated, but that would also be affordable?

GENTLE READER: Shower presents should be, by their very nature, affordable. So the only real trick here is to ignore the inevitable and persistent registries and financial requests.

Miss Manners recommends bibs, diapers and onesies for babies -- and maybe for newlyweds too, depending on how much they plan to overdo it at the various wedding parties.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What are your thoughts on wedding gifts for second, third or fourth marriages?

For a second marriage, I myself do not send a gift, just a "best wishes/congratulations" card. For a third, fourth, etc., I do not send anything or attend.

GENTLE READER: Why? Are you protesting?

Admittedly, it can be exhausting and expensive to support multiple attempts at marriage that you feel certain are doomed to fail. But as these matrimonial optimists are presumably friends and relatives, not even acknowledging their weddings seems to Miss Manners a bit callous.

She assures you that a "best wishes" card does not signify condonation of the union. But it also does not justify saying "I told you so" -- even if that is warranted.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved into a new building with a call box and common entry. For first-time visitors, I typically meet them at the common entry to either show them into my home or see them off at the end of our visit.

Once they transition to repeat visitors, though, would it be considered polite to continue to walk back to the common entry with them? Or is just seeing them in/out the door of my second-floor home OK?

GENTLE READER: The latter is fine. Although double-checking that the entry is adequately lit is always kind. Especially if they have enjoyed a few drinks with you before departing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have three kids, ages 4, 9 and 12. The oldest and youngest have no problem writing thank-you notes for gifts. They actually get excited and try to pick out exactly the card or paper they think the gift-giver would like best.

Our middle child used to enjoy it the same way, but now she refuses. We've talked about why we write thank-you notes, but she consistently argues that no one else in her class does this. Some of our peers (we're in our 30s) think we're being too hard on her and echo the "No one does that anymore" thought process.

Are we wrong? Is this really something that kids aren't expected to do anymore? I feel that writing a simple three-sentence letter is a reasonable expectation for her age.

GENTLE READER: One of the side effects of everyone pretending to be a child well into their dotage is that we forget that some arguments are, frankly, childish.

That your 9-year-old's classmates are badly behaved -- assuming it is true -- should carry as much weight as the argument that Ethan's mom lets him have candy for dinner and stay up all night.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were guests at a gathering when the host, during a story, stated, "I knew I was headed east because my brother told me the full moon rises in the east."

I commented that all phases of the moon rise in the east. She was irate and told me her sibling knew what he was talking about -- he was in the Navy. She was so aggressive, I did not reply.

Should I have explained that I was a science teacher and that the moon and the stars -- including the sun -- appear to rise in the east because of the Earth's rotation? Should I have explained any of this later, in private? Or should I have simply let it go?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners understands your professional instinct to provide answers, her response to your question is: none of the above.

You should have let the host tell her story. Irrespective of your being right about celestial mechanics, correcting her, in the context in which you did, called attention to her ignorance. It could be justified if the mistake were likely to bring its owner to immediate grief. But the worst that would happen in this case is that your host will one day repeat her story in front of her naval sibling, who will laugh at her for having misunderstood him.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude not to push a chair back to the table when you exit it? My husband drives me to distraction by leaving chairs pulled out at odd angles away from the table.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette's only interest in the final disposition of the chairs is that they not be left where they can cause accidents. This means not leaving them in a position to block others from coming or going, and not pushing them back to the table if they still contain other diners.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a gathering where a foreign movie director was present. I knew that one of his films had won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film several years (decades) ago. I approached him and told him how much I enjoyed that particular work.

He responded, "Oh. That film hadn't been mentioned all evening. I suppose it was inevitable, as it's the one that everyone knows. I guess it's good to have that mention under my belt for the evening."

I mumbled something about how I knew I would have regretted failing to mention my fondness for that particular film when I had the chance. I then made a hasty retreat and didn't speak to him for the rest of the evening.

How should I have handled this? I feel almost wrong for having mentioned it at all. But that doesn't seem right, either.

GENTLE READER: This director has been approached so many times by fans of that film -- and is so irked that his later work has not received the same attention -- that he has forgotten basic manners.

Insulting you for complimenting him was unpardonable. Miss Manners does not say this to suggest that you should have acted any differently, but only to wonder that the director does not have the common sense to realize that you might have.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I tell someone "I hope you feel better soon" or "I hope they find your missing cousin," most of the time, the person's response is "Me, too." Am I right to be annoyed by this?

I maintain that the only proper response is "Thank you." Tell me, Miss Manners, am I being overly critical?

GENTLE READER: Although you are correct -- and assuming that your first example was someone recovering from a cold, not bubonic plague -- Miss Manners allows greater latitude to the "missing cousin" situation. The speaker's concern in that case may be of a magnitude to justify their expressing woe over acknowledging sympathy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've begun walking our two beagles around our quiet neighborhood, both for their benefit and mine. One of the dogs has always been chubby, but both are well-loved and have always been well cared for.

However, several times, total strangers have approached me and told me that my dog is overweight, even implying that I'm abusing him. One lady we've encountered tried to give me a list of dog trainers that could help.

How do I respond to these accusations, short of locking the dog in the house and never leaving, which isn't fair to either of us?

GENTLE READER: "Thank you for the suggestion."

Before you complain to Miss Manners that such an answer is too polite for someone who just implied that you are abusing your dog, she points out that a five-word answer, delivered with slightly compressed lips, is not an admission of guilt, a display of enthusiasm, nor a commitment to act.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My nosy neighbor follows my husband and me around and takes pictures of us. My husband smokes, and she is always taking photos of him smoking. This morning, while we were watering flowers, she took several pictures and commented, "Got both of you."

Short of calling the police, what do I do?

GENTLE READER: You say, "Please stop taking photos of us."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)