DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequently dine out with a close friend. We are both well into adulthood, but she seems to have missed one element of dining etiquette: that one should cut and eat one piece of food at a time.

If presented with a chicken breast, she will cut it up and mix the pieces with the potatoes and gravy on the plate before beginning to eat. She will cut up a whole pancake and mix it with the syrup, or tear apart a whole biscuit and butter all the pieces.

It is, I admit, aesthetically unappealing, although I abide by the rule of not correcting another adult’s manners. More significantly, her profession sometimes entails dining in formal and diplomatic settings, and I worry that others will judge her unkindly.

Since I cannot correct her, I am hoping that Miss Manners will state the proper approach, and that my friend may read it and recognize the error of her ways.

GENTLE READER: Ah, if only it were that easy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother died in his early 60s of an unknown cancer, just five weeks after diagnosis. His illness and death were likely related to his service in Vietnam.

Yet I have been in the presence of people from that era who brag and even laugh at their “good fortune” at never having to serve there. “Good fortune,” that is, because some of them played fast and loose with health claims or knew a physician who would “doctor” their records. Or perhaps their father knew someone who knew someone, etc. I have been told a variety of strategies to avoid being drafted.

I’m astounded they would talk openly about any of this. I bring up my brother’s service and his death whenever this happens, which leads to a period of discomfort and backpedaling.

I feel I am justified, and that maybe they’ll think twice about bringing up their “good fortune” again. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: We can agree on the bad manners and bad morals being displayed by such people, and you are not asking what Miss Manners thinks of your own behavior. So let us discuss results.

It seems likely that the people you accost will conclude that you, not they, are the problem. If, when you next witness such behavior, you allow yourself to look as distraught as you feel, and quickly and emphatically excuse yourself, you are more likely to cause them to examine their own behavior. And you will have done it without being impolite.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I’m seated at a table with other people in a restaurant, and an acquaintance comes over to talk to me, is it OK to stay seated? Or should I stand up to talk, or should the person squat down to my level (which I hate)?

GENTLE READER: If the interloper is being polite, you will not have time to decide: They would only stop long enough to apologize for the interruption and say a quick hello before moving on.

Miss Manners makes no objection to your asking the person to join your party, but, if you do not want to do so, then remaining seated with a beatific smile will help keep any discussion short.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am not knowledgeable about watches. I found the watch I often wear by searching online for a self-winding watch and finding one that was in my budget and looked nice.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that it was a knockoff of a popular luxury design.

In the past, when somebody would compliment me on my watch, I would explain that it wasn’t what they thought it was. But I recently changed jobs and am seeing many more people each day, increasing the frequency that my watch is seen and that people believe they recognize the brand.

Explaining that it's a knockoff is starting to make me feel bad, even though the watch was never bought with any intent to fool anyone. While it’s nowhere near as expensive as the real thing, it cost me enough I’d like to not have it go to waste if I were to stop wearing it.

I never meant it to be a conversation piece, but it seems to be one, at least among the people who care about such things. I doubt that a simple “thanks” will be enough to shut down conversation when somebody compliments me on it. None of my options here seem very good.

GENTLE READER: It is probably not the worst scam to allow others to mistake your watch for something more expensive. Since such people are both brand-conscious and unable to detect the real thing, Miss Manners would be inclined to the imposture pass.

However, if it makes you feel dishonest, she offers you a graceful example on a somewhat higher scale. Once, she thought she was seeing a huge Canaletto painting in the home of someone who might even have been able to afford one. Seeing her stare at it, mesmerized, the host said quietly, in passing, “School of.”

Perhaps in the case of a watch, it should be “inspired by” -- a euphemism Miss Manners has noticed being employed by the fashion industry to suggest “stolen from.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes when I am invited to a friend’s house in a group that I socialize with, I ask if I can bring anything. Often, the host will say, “Just bring a bottle of wine” or “You don’t need to bring anything.”

I respect the host’s wishes, but when I arrive, I see people bringing side dishes. This has happened more than once and at different people’s homes.

I know it’s not my cooking, because when I’ve had them over, they seem to really enjoy my food. I am baffled and embarrassed by coming empty-handed, although I always do bring a bottle of good wine.

I’m not sure what to do in these instances and what to make of it.

GENTLE READER: Although it is possible that some hosts who say not to bring anything really mean “Please! Cook my dinner!,” Miss Manners gives them the courtesy of taking them at their word. She hears from many who are annoyed to have their menus interfered with. You need not be embarrassed for respecting your host.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a cute storage rack in my guest bathroom that holds hand soap and a stack of paper towels. But more often than not, guests will use the bath towels hanging on the towel bar instead. I’ve even pulled the rack closer to the sink and put a used paper towel in the trash.

Any other suggestions to let them know that these are not for show, but to use?

GENTLE READER: Sadly, no. Miss Manners is embarrassed to say that getting guests to use the guest towels is the Great Unsolvable Etiquette Problem.

Whatever tactic parents use to bar their children from using the guest towels, it is infinitely more effective than their instructions to answer invitations, thank benefactors and eat in a manner that does not disgust others at the table.

You can remove the bath towels, but then guests will just wipe their hands on their clothes. Or worse, emerge unwashed.

The only people whose guest towels are used are those who are annoyed about it, fancying that people should recognize that the towels are of such artistic value as to be clearly only for decoration. It is hard to say which is sillier: thinking that your towels form an art collection or that they are too good for your guests.

Pathetically, Miss Manners can only suggest that you call out “I’ve put towels in there for you” to any guest who walks toward the powder room.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I live in the Northeast, where snowstorms are commonplace. Both of us are fortunate to have jobs that generally close in bad weather, so we have time to clear snow at our leisure.

A friend of ours has grandparents who live in our neighborhood. They are relatively recent immigrants from a warm climate, and we have taken to shoveling their driveway and walkways whenever the weather warrants it. This friend's whole family has been very kind to us over the years, and I know they worry about these grandparents being too far away to reach easily in an emergency.

The problem is that whenever we shovel for them, they insist on feeding us until we’re bursting at the seams, and then sending us home with enough food for several more meals.

Because of a slight language barrier, I’m not sure if we’re adequately conveying that we do not need or expect repayment. All of my grandparents are gone, and we enjoy doing something for this elderly couple and sitting and talking with them for a little while afterwards.

While their gifts of food are appreciated (and delicious!), they are not needed. Is there a gracious way to insist that we do not require such thanks?

GENTLE READER: Had these people offered to pay you, you would be right to be embarrassed, if not actually offended. But they are returning a kind, neighborly gesture with another kind, neighborly gesture.

Graciousness consists not only of doing things for others, but in accepting their efforts to do things for you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)