DEAR MISS MANNERS: There seems to be so much growing awareness about the legitimacy of mental health challenges these days. However, my community of friends has left me to spend the holidays alone, repeatedly, despite knowing I live alone, have no family and am trying to cope with depression and anxiety.

I’ve made pretty bold hints, and that hasn’t worked. I know it is not their responsibility to include me, but finding myself alone again this year has been quite rough.

Any strategies to be welcomed to holiday gatherings without reducing myself to begging?

GENTLE READER: No one needs to be alone, especially at the holidays. There are so many organizations that accept volunteers to help others in various ways. It is fine to ask whether there is a small task that you feel you can handle.

That said, Miss Manners agrees that it would be kind of your friends to invite you, and not only on holidays. She hears from single people who feel resentment that they are only invited out of pity.

Friendship involves more than that: It also involves reciprocity. That does not mean that you must entertain them in the same way they entertain you. You could reciprocate with small favors and sincere gratitude. And perhaps you have done that, as you mention having a community of friends.

But friendship also involves understanding your friends’ situations. They may be swamped with other obligations, particularly during the holidays.

Miss Manners noted that you are citing depression and anxiety. You may well feel that the efforts above are beyond you. In that case, the sad truth is that you are indeed dependent on their thinking, “Poor thing, she has nobody; we should probably do something” -- and in competition with their other obligations.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Growing up, when visiting my grandparents and other relatives, I remember the TV would be turned off when we entered as guests. I remember music playing when we had Christmas parties or other family get-togethers, but the TV was always turned off.

But lately, when visiting friends, relatives and others, I’ve noticed more and more that the TVs are staying on. In many cases, they are not even muted. In my opinion, it is very distracting and, honestly, rude.

Is it rude to have the TV on when guests visit, or am I overreacting?

GENTLE READER: Overreacting? When you consider how much the noise might annoy guests who are trying to concentrate on their video games or texting conversations?

After the isolation of the first pandemic years, Miss Manners would have thought that the attraction of such gatherings would be interacting with people face-to-face. Why bother to invite guests, or to go out, if you only want to focus on one kind of screen or another?

Of course, Miss Manners does not know your relatives. But surely if they can gather, even once a year, they can talk to one another. If you are not the host, the best you can do is to ask if others will join you in another room, because you are so glad to see them and eager to hear about them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a lawyer, due to the nature of my work and the nature of the law, I’m frequently in the position of having to give unwelcome news to clients. This often results in entirely unwarranted verbal abuse -- a version of shooting the messenger.

While I sympathize with clients’ frustrations, and with personal challenges that may aggravate their responses to a situation, at times it is very difficult to take.

Is it more polite to 1. simply be silent and end the conversation quickly; 2. try to continue explaining, in hopes of advancing a client’s understanding; or 3. object to personal insults as they arise? Or a combination?

It’s perhaps relevant that none of the clients are paying for my time; they are being given free legal assistance. I only mention this to clarify that I have no financial motive to prolong an abusive encounter. But should their difficult life circumstances affect the extent to which I listen to abuse, for the sake of politeness?

GENTLE READER: “I understand that you are frustrated, but I am only relaying the message and trying to help you solve the problem. If you continue like this, I am afraid that I will no longer be able to assist.”

Miss Manners believes this a reasonable reaction, no matter what the financial relationship or hardship. After all, being polite is also free.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Last spring, I graduated from college, moved from the Midwest -- where many of my lovely friends and family reside -- to Seattle and started my career in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

Recently, though, my job has required me to move back to Chicago, which is great. I will be very close to many of my aforementioned friends and family members, to whom I have announced this news.

In this process, I’ve been kindly offered housing opportunities by folks looking for a roommate. As much as I love my friends, and as much as I enjoyed having temporary co-habitants in college, I’ve since found that I prefer living alone.

When people ask, I’ve been telling them, “Thank you for the offer! Nothing against you or my previous roommates, but I plan to live by myself.” Is this an acceptable way to respond to these kind offers?

GENTLE READER: If you eliminate the middle phrase “Nothing against," Miss Manners will happily sign off on this response. Much like “No offense,” that phrase is guaranteed to have the opposite effect.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We relocated 900 miles and are attempting to acclimate ourselves to a lovely town. We’ve been pleased to learn that our neighbors are just as willing to welcome and engage us as we are to approach and meet them.

On occasion, we receive the seemingly benign question of whether we have pets. When we respond that we do not, I’m sometimes taken aback by a somewhat overplayed “I’m so sorry” -- as if we or our lives are somehow incomplete or inadequate.

We know that we need not divulge our private reasons, but when someone oversteps social boundaries and seems to use the question as a dig or one-up, is there anything I should do -- other than stifle the urge to say that their pity is neither warranted nor wanted?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you, but we prefer it that way.” Pause. Pause. “Of course, yours are no doubt lovely and well-behaved ...”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved 10 years ago to a beautiful part of the country. When driving or riding with others, I am frequently startled by incredible scenes -- a massive volcanic mountain that suddenly appears around a corner, lake views where none were expected, bald eagles flying in front of the car.

These sights are so startling and beautiful, and I interrupt whatever conversation is taking place with exclamations. I don’t think I can help myself! “Look! An otter!” “Look at the massive antlers on that buck!” “Ooh, newborn deer twins!” “That eagle is enormous!”

I constantly interrupt conversations, but seriously, how can I not? That glacier wasn’t there a minute ago! Am I rude?

GENTLE READER: Your enthusiasm is charming, as long as it does not overpower the conver -- squirrel!

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the cook in our family, and I enjoy it very much. Some members of my wife’s family, all of whom are very sweet and loving, recently visited us, and I made dinner for us all.

One of them went way overboard with her compliments, and I was at a loss as to how to handle it.

Her, after the first bite: “Oh, Larry, this pot roast is delicious!”

Me: “Thank you!”

After the second bite: “Oh, my gosh, you are SUCH a good cook!”

Me: “I’m really glad you’re enjoying it.”

Third bite: “Wow, this is really good!”

Me: “Thanks a lot!”

Next bite: “Mmm! This is just so good!”

Me: “And there’s plenty more, so enjoy.”

And on and on and on. Can you help me? This will surely come up again when they next visit.

I mean, I like compliments as much as the next guy, but enough’s enough. Is there a point where I just smile and nod? Do I keep trying to come up with different versions of “thank you”?

GENTLE READER: That, or recite the recipe at such length that she will just have to keep eating without comment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an amateur cook and baker. A number of years ago, I completed a hobbyist-level course at a renowned cooking school.

Earlier this year, my wonderful daughter-in-law was charged with arranging a simple, intimate wedding for her father and his fiance. I’m not well-acquainted with the wedding couple, but to help my DIL, I baked and delivered a simple, two-tiered cake to the wedding venue.

After the wedding, I didn’t hear from the couple, but my DIL said several guests complimented the cake.

At a later social event, I saw the couple for the first time since their wedding. In front of several people, he said, “That wedding cake you made was no good. I would have thought the guy who attended a fancy cooking school could have done better than that.”

I was stunned in the moment and didn’t reply. I think my silence was a good response, but was there something I might have said to express my chagrin?

GENTLE READER: “I’m sorry it disappointed you. Your daughter said that other people enjoyed it, but she must have been mistaken.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)