DEAR MISS MANNERS: I ride bikes with my buddies several times a week, going 30 miles or so in two hours. We don’t usually stop, except for an occasional mechanical issue or water break.

One evening, we crossed paths with another biking group that included several friends I hadn’t seen for a couple of years. They stopped to say hi, so I stopped, too. My buddies waited for me down the road.

I ended up chatting with the other group for about five minutes. When we left, one of my riding buddies was extremely unhappy and wouldn’t converse with me. I asked if he was upset, and he said something about the “chat” being too long.

Was I rude or selfish to hold up my buddies? Should I have kept my chat to a much shorter time?

GENTLE READER: You should have apologized for keeping your party waiting. But assuming that you and your buddies are not 10 years old -- and, come to think of it, even if you are -- there were more mature ways for your friend to respond to the inconvenience.

He could, when you stopped, have politely said that if you thought you were going to be some time, then they would proceed without you. Or he could have offered to wait if you did not think it would be long. Either way would have prompted you to clarify what you were asking them to do -- and for how long.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an acquaintance of identical twins who look so similar that it is hard to distinguish who is who. We all participate in the same recreational activity, so I am often in a situation of wanting to greet one of them, but not knowing which twin I am greeting.

Should I just say “Hello” or “Good morning” with no name attached? Or take a guess at which twin it is and hope I don’t get it wrong?

The other day, I greeted one of them by name (I took a guess) and then immediately apologized for possibly having gotten her name wrong. She responded with a smile and a “don’t worry about it” look and greeted me back.

I found out later from a friend that I had, indeed, guessed correctly, but it was unsettling not to know. What would have been the proper thing to do?

GENTLE READER: Calling someone by the wrong name is never flattering -- even when there is a good reason for the mistake. So unless you can improve your odds well beyond 50%, let’s rule out guessing.

Miss Manners instead recommends “Hello” -- followed by whatever conversation will most quickly, and seamlessly, match your friend to her identity. You may be sure that both twins have dealt with this situation enough to know that no offense is intended -- and perhaps to subtly amuse themselves by not helping you make a positive identification.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If 19th-century “upper crust” Americans thought that aping British aristocracy was the height of sophistication, how is it that the American style of eating (swapping the fork from the right hand to the left, and then back again) became the American standard?

GENTLE READER: Actually, those Americans were using the style of eating prevalent in Europe when their forebears emigrated to the United States, and just didn’t change when Europeans dumbed down the rules.

A note of caution here: It is never the most advantaged layer of society -- aristocrats, or what you call the upper crust -- who welcome change. Being on top, they think things are just fine as they are. Rather, it is those on the rise who seek ways to distinguish themselves from those whose ranks they have risen above.

The fork arrived in England long after it did in Italy and France, and in the 19th century, there were still some landed aristocrats who resisted its use. And when they did use it, it was to replace the knife or spoon hitherto in use in the right hand.

It was the newly rich beneficiaries of the Industrial Revolution who invented specialized flatware -- and, unpleasantly, used it as a social test. Aristocrats scorned this as long as they could. But that was only until the prudence of their marrying into the moneyed set became obvious.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help me politely decline when asked to purchase things for a children's fundraiser.

While I certainly have no objection to helping a good cause, it is irksome when adult friends call me, expecting a purchase on behalf of grandchildren I don’t even know. They pressure all their friends to make significant purchases, while the kids get no lesson or “entrepreneurial experience.”

Please help with an inoffensive reply.

GENTLE READER: Either “I’ll have half a dozen of those” or “Thank you, no,” depending on whether or not you want the product.

Miss Manners is all for teaching children about business -- just not that they can unload the selling job on others, nor that they can use social pressure to force people to buy things they do not want.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you’ve invited people over for a meal, should you plan for the meal to be ready a little before the guests’ arrival, so you can eat immediately? Or should it be ready a little after their arrival time, so you can budget for all the greetings, niceties, showing them around, etc.?

GENTLE READER: What is the traffic and parking situation in your neighborhood?

Miss Manners is afraid that your guests are in for a lot of overcooked food if you time meals to be ready before the hour you have invited them.

It is not that she condones the absurd notion of being “fashionably late.” Polite guests arrive at or shortly after the designated time.

Cocktail hour was not invented only for the liquor. Whatever kind of drink you serve, you need the time to allow guests to shed their coats and assemble before you lead them to the table.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m what they call a HENRY: High Earner, Not Rich Yet. I’m a single woman in my mid-40s who works in the financial arena. I have a stable government job, a sizable 401(k) and will receive a decent pension.

I really enjoy talking about finance and money. It’s not only part of my profession, but a personal passion. I’ve worked hard to get where I am today, and a recent inheritance will get me pretty close to achieving financial independence.

However, I’m starting to realize that it’s probably best if I don’t discuss my financial situation with other people. What is the appropriate boundary regarding financial matters? Is it nobody else’s business?

Would a close friend be offended if one day they found out I was a millionaire and I hadn’t told them? What about dating?

I’m very fortunate to have financial security and to be set up for a comfortable retirement, which I can hopefully take sooner than later. I have no plans for anything extravagant, I just want to maintain my current modest standard of living.

GENTLE READER: Indeed, you are fortunate. Pointing that out to others is called bragging.

It is not endearing, not even to people as rich or richer than you. The exception would be fortune-hunters, if that is what you are looking for by asking permission to tell dates that you are a millionaire.

But Miss Manners is not trying to prevent you from discussing your field. It should be easy to find people who are interested in hearing about the economy. Just please don’t embarrass yourself and others -- who can easily assume you mean it competitively -- by revealing your personal wealth.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I enjoy entertaining friends and family for formal dinners. When everyone has completed their meal and the conversations are continuing, I will invite everyone to relax around the table as I begin to clear the dishes.

Too often, guests, in a polite attempt to be helpful, will clear the entire table. Dishes, flatware, candles, glasses, leftovers, linens pile up in the kitchen. Then they insist on helping in the kitchen. I end up directing guests to do things I could accomplish much more efficiently myself.

What should be a quiet, simple task instead becomes a complicated annoyance. Is there a polite way to insist my guests stay seated at the table, or is this the small price I must pay to enjoy an otherwise pleasant evening?

GENTLE READER: But you were not relaxing and enjoying a pleasant evening -- you were cleaning up. So of course your guests felt awkward about sitting around while you worked.

Miss Manners receives two sets of complaints about guests’ helping: that they do and that they don’t. Ordinarily, she cautions guests to follow the host’s instructions, and hosts to insist upon them. But she appreciates the unwillingness to comply when the host sets an opposite example.

Please follow your own instructions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)