DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an acquaintance who has been in my home a few times, even though I’ve never invited him over. He’s shown up at my door without calling or texting, and asks to come in for tea.
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He’s pleasant, and I don’t mind the company -- when I’m free. But on a recent visit, he said I should keep my home tidier if I wanted him to come over again.
I keep my house clean, but he’s shown up when I’ve been in the middle of folding laundry, for example. Or when I had some papers on the coffee table, a towel hanging to dry in the bathroom, my gym shoes beside the door and a coffee cup beside the kitchen sink.
When I’m expecting guests, I make my home look like nobody lives there. But am I really obligated to keep my home constantly spotless just in case someone drops in?
GENTLE READER: No. But you also do not have to let this person in just because he shows up at your door.
Miss Manners suggests you practice saying, “This is not a good time for me.” No reason necessary. If he presses for one, you might say, “I’m afraid my house is not up to your standards. I will be sure to invite you over when it is.”
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)