DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I take my sons to the pediatrician or call to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse always calls me Mom. I give them my name, but they never use it, and continue to call me Mom.

I love being a mom, don’t get me wrong. And I love my sons. But this drives me bananas. I’m not these people's mom!

Am I overreacting? If so, I’ll let it go. I do realize that it probably makes life easier for the staff, and I hope I’m not being rude by correcting them. Maybe some people like being called Mom.

But there’s something about it that feels a little condescending, like I’m not a separate person from my children.

GENTLE READER: “Which mother? I’m Mrs. Starwood.” (Or “Dr. Starwood,” if it applies and you wish to pull rank.)

If that does not work -- or is forgotten the very next visit -- Miss Manners permits you to be annoyed. But then she recommends you let it go. For the purposes of this visit, you are an extension of the child.

And while these professionals could make a bit more effort, you do not want to squabble with your child’s caregivers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited my best friend to a concert more than a month ahead of the performance. She said she would have to get back to me, as it falls on her sister’s birthday weekend. Two weeks later, I still haven’t heard from my friend.

Meanwhile, my 11-year-old son asked if he could attend with me. His father will also be there. I would rather bring my son. What is the best way to handle this?

GENTLE READER: “I assumed that since I didn’t hear from you, you were unable to attend the concert. Marcus expressed an interest, so he will be coming with me. I hope to see you at another event soon.”

Miss Manners notes that this has the added advantage of alerting your friend that if she expects to attend the next event, she had better act more quickly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I were attending a college production of “HMS Pinafore.” A student was sitting directly in front of me wearing a white baseball cap.

I could tell the hat was going to detract from my pleasure in the show, so I asked the young man, “Would you mind removing your hat? It is a bit of a distraction.” He complied, and I thoroughly enjoyed the play.

The next day, my wife informed me that she had been embarrassed by my behavior, that I was in the wrong, and that wearing a hat in the situation was routinely accepted in today’s society.

Am I an incorrigible antique, or was she right?

GENTLE READER: An incorrigible antique herself, Miss Manners agrees with you, and maintains that baseball hats should not be worn inside anything other than a stadium. The argument that it is now routinely accepted does not move her.

But the fact that the student politely complied should be more important than your wife’s objection. If he was not upset or embarrassed, why should she be?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I the one who is in the wrong here? When I invited several friends to dinner recently, I was shamed and criticized about what I was serving.

One of my friends invited another guest to join us, and it turns out he is a very strict vegan. I wasn’t even aware that he was coming.

Prior to dinner, this fussy/picky guest realized that I was serving chicken with orange sauce and a dab of honey. He then opened my refrigerator and said, “I see ricotta, buttermilk, cottage cheese, milk, mozzarella, half-and-half, butter and heavy cream!” Then he slammed the door shut and remarked, “Someone needs to teach you how to shop more humanely!”

What’s wrong with me and my shopping? Or should I cultivate new friends?

GENTLE READER: Other than your having a clear affinity for dairy products, Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with your shopping.

But there is something terribly wrong with a friend who brings an uninvited guest, especially one who openly criticizes the host and the food. Guests can make their more extreme food preferences known, if asked -- but that would require that the guest be asked to attend the dinner in the first place.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am at the age where many of my friends’ children are marrying. I am always delighted to be invited to celebrate with the happy couples, and pleased to give a wedding gift to start them out in life.

Alas, I very rarely receive an acknowledgment of my gifts. This seems to be accepted behavior.

What should I do when the invitation to give a gift for the impending baby arrives? My baser self would very much like to snarl that they have a lot of nerve sticking their hands out again, but I value my friendships with their parents.

So far, I have taken a deep breath, sent a gift and talked about them behind their backs -- like decent people do.

Does Miss Manners have a suggestion for a polite way of indicating that, since they couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge the first gift, subsequent gifts should not be solicited?

GENTLE READER: Decent people do not, as you said, admonish people directly. Nor do they go looking for trouble. If the impending babies do indeed materialize, Miss Manners suggests you politely decline the invitation -- both to attend any festivities and to provide a present.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have a great relationship with our ex-son-in-law. He is coming to visit us with his girlfriend, whom we have met via video chat; we like her, too.

How do we introduce them to people? “This is our ex-son-in-law and his girlfriend”?

GENTLE READER: That might encourage uncomfortable follow-up questions for the girlfriend. Miss Manners suggests instead that you introduce them by their names. After doing so, you may add, “Carter is like a member of our family, and we are so pleased to get to know Ellie.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was walking in the humanities building of the university where I am a graduate student. I turned the corner of the hallway that leads to the offices and saw one of my professors lying in the middle of the hall at the bottom of a few steps.

She had two other professors around her, and I could hear that they believed she had sprained an ankle (I assume from tripping down the stairs).

I needed to get by them to get to my office, so I said “excuse me” and walked by. I now wonder: Was that rude of me? Should I have stopped and inquired further?

I mean, the situation was clearly under control and it was not an emergency. My presence would likely have only made my professor uncomfortable (she did catch my eye and I could tell that she felt this way already).

Should I have chosen an alternate path? I wasn’t exactly stepping over her to get to my office, but it was pretty close.

GENTLE READER: Your haste to get to your office may have demonstrated a commendable commitment to your studies. But Miss Manners suspects a quick stop to inquire if any further assistance was needed would not have done any lasting damage to your GPA.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father, my three siblings and I are having a surprise 80th birthday party for my mother. One of her cousins responded that they were coming, but also asked what restaurant my mom likes, because she wants to bring a gift card for her.

My parents don’t need anything and I know my mom would prefer not to receive gifts. I politely responded that it was a very nice thought, but no gifts were necessary. She said that I should tell her the name of a restaurant, because she was going to bring a gift card regardless.

Is it rude on my part to ask people not to bring gifts? Or should she back down?

GENTLE READER: No. Yes. But isn’t your real question: How do I get this cousin to stop pestering me?

Miss Manners has an answer for that one, too, which is, “You know, I’m not sure she would actually use it.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A woman my husband works with bought him five work shirts. (This is something that happens quite often with this co-worker.) I told him that I felt it was inappropriate, and that he should give them back.

But he likes the shirts, and decided that rather than giving them back, he would go ahead and wear them. He even went and bought another one on his own, and it turns out each one cost over $100.

There is a whole load of context here, but I don’t think there’s any need to share all of that.

GENTLE READER: No doubt. You might ask your husband how he would feel about a male co-worker who purchased expensive jewelry for you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)