DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am currently staying with a family friend and her husband for a few days while visiting my hometown. The husband clearly isn’t happy with me staying here, so I have not interacted with him much.

On my second day here, the husband asked for a divorce. Now I can hear them fighting, and the tension is insane.

How do I interact with him further? Is it rude if I just avoid him? Currently, our conversations are barely existent.

GENTLE READER: Currently? Your hosts are fighting to the point of divorce, and you are sticking around, listening? And your only question is how to deal with an ungracious host?

A guest must also be gracious, even under extraordinary circumstances. The rule that applies here is the one about happening upon accidents: If you can help, jump in and do so. If not, don’t gawk -- move on.

Miss Manners wonders why you did not leave for your own sake when you noticed that the host was unhappy with your being there, for whatever reason. Surely the awkwardness and inconvenience you would have experienced would have been better than being an unwelcome guest.

What you could have said to him and his wife on your way out was, “I wish you both well.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a five-story condominium building that has a lot of retired people in it. I have been at the same job for 20-plus years, so I have a lot of vacation days. I don’t often take a week or two off at a time -- more often just a day off here and there.

My neighbors can’t get their heads around this. I have been repeatedly asked, “Oh, do you work every day? Do you have Fridays off? Why aren’t you at work?” It really burns me, as they’re implying I’m doing something wrong and that my schedule is their business.

Most of the old-timers have left since I moved here, but there are still a few older busybodies around. They seem to suffer from “groupthink” and a tendency to interfere with others.

Also, they are so oblivious. It goes right over their heads that they might be bothering people with questions like this. Goodness, if I did have a sickness or some kind of personal reason for being home, I wouldn’t necessarily want them to know that!

Sometimes I even go down the stairwell and take different routes to avoid running into these people.

GENTLE READER: Have these people not heard about remote work?

Not that Miss Manners believes that hearing that explanation -- or any other -- would discourage a determined busybody. Sadly, they are just after a bit of conversation.

Which does not mean that you need provide it. Ignore the questions, call out a cheery greeting -- “Hi, Mrs. Erskine!” “Nice day, Mr. Lumpkin!” -- and keep moving.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My dog is a great conversation starter. Strangers who stop to admire him will often share a story or two about their own pets, or their own memories of dogs they’ve known.

As much as I enjoy this, I’ve noticed that these strangers will often -- with no prompting from me and with no obvious conversational cues leading toward this topic -- tell me about how their pets or pets belonging to their friends died. These stories are often detailed accounts of how they, or someone close to them, caused the death of their beloved animals, usually by accident, leading to years of emotional fallout and sad memories.

I understand that losing a pet is difficult. I understand that it’s 10 times worse when that pet is killed on accident by someone who loves them, and I understand that people who have lost pets in such a way might find solace in discussing their grief with a friend.

But I’m not their friend. Most of the time, I don’t even know this person’s first name. They will, without exaggerating, stop me to chat about my dog, share a story about a dog they’ve known, and then hit me with “Yeah, my daughter ran him over with her truck. None of us have ever been the same.” Or something to that effect.

I find these stories distressing, even more so because they come without warning from people I don’t know. Can you suggest a polite way to interrupt these stories?

If there isn’t a polite way to prevent this from happening, is there a gracious way to admonish them for luring me into a conversation about their cute dog, only to ruin my day with a graphic account of the cute dog’s tragic demise?

GENTLE READER: Admonishing them -- no. But you can stop them.

At the first sign of a disaster story, Miss Manners suggests holding up your hand and saying, “Wait -- Fido (or Achilles or Sweetums, whatever your dog's name) finds this kind of story upsetting. I don’t want him to have nightmares. Please excuse us.”

Or you could try training him to respond to a signal by pulling you away, as you flash an apologetic look to the stranger.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often vacation at the beach and pick up several postcards with the full intent of sending them, but rarely get around to it. Is it bad etiquette to send them from home?

Someone once told me you should only mail postcards if you can manage to do so from the location you are visiting, but I feel like it’s nice to tell someone you are thinking of them, no matter where you are. Is it tacky that they won’t be postmarked by the location?

GENTLE READER: Postcards? You prefer pictures of places and handwritten greetings to bombarding your friends with selfies?

That is so nice that Miss Manners does not want to quibble. Well, she supposes you might change the tense in your messages, depending on the timing: “I was in Whaler’s Beach, thinking of you.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Last summer, I attended a barbecue with my husband’s co-workers and their families. I was introduced to a co-worker’s wife, who was wearing a T-shirt commemorating her close relative’s untimely death a year prior. My husband had told me what happened at the time, and how devastating it was to her and the rest of the family.

I am always careful to express condolences, but this time I was at a loss and ended up saying nothing. There were a number of reasons for this: I had never met the woman before, for one (I barely even know her husband), and the event was a casual and happy one, during which she and I only spoke briefly. And while I don't feel that my husband crossed any lines in telling me what she'd gone through, I think it would have been odd for a stranger to comment on her personal tragedy out of the blue.

But she was wearing a shirt with his name and his birth and death dates on it! Did I do the right thing? Or should I have briefly mentioned her relative and how sorry I was for her loss?

She and her husband are such lovely people; I hope I didn’t drop the ball.

GENTLE READER: T-shirt messages do not always convey immediate, mandatory instructions. Miss Manners has noticed that declarations such as “Kiss me, I’m Irish” (or "Italian" or whatever) have largely disappeared, perhaps because the wearers found they did not actually want strangers to comply.

A year after the tragedy, this woman might have just grabbed the shirt because it was handy. Commenting on it, or not, was up to your discretion.

However, Miss Manners will take this opportunity to once again remind her readers why condolence letters are so important. Having formally expressed sympathies at the time the tragedy occurred, one can avoid the awkwardness of bringing it up later in a more cheerful setting. But as you are careful about expressing condolences, Miss Manners assumes that your husband already sent such a letter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At casual restaurants and upscale establishments alike, I am frequently served a large piece of meat perched atop a too-full bowl -- say, a large piece of grilled chicken on an overflowing salad bowl, or tennis-ball-sized meatballs perilously balanced on a full bowl of pasta.

What is a graceful way to cut the featured protein? Do I place it on a bread plate, exposing the cutting process to my dinner companions? Or do I eat around the meat until the bottom of the dish becomes visible?

GENTLE READER: Apply gentle pressure with your knife and fork to separate the meat into smaller pieces on top of the rest of the meal -- without, obviously, causing the rest of the bowl to overflow in the process.

This method has the advantage of ensuring that each bite of protein is accompanied by some salad or pasta, which is usually the point of the addition in the first place. But if the task proves impossible, Miss Manners suggests you ask the server for another plate (the bread plate is usually too small), or proactively inquire as to whether the meat is pre-cut before ordering.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)