DEAR MISS MANNERS: The opportunity to work remotely has offered many individuals the freedom to engage in work-related activities not only at home, but also in public places such as libraries and cafes -- basically anywhere that offers Wi-Fi and provides tables and chairs for patrons.

This is the case at a coffee shop where I often go to enjoy a coffee and a pastry. They serve coffee in paper cups and bag all food items to go, but if there is an open seat, one can stay and consume the items in the shop.

Unfortunately, this is rarely possible because all of the tables for two are occupied by single customers and their laptops. Usually, they have no food or beverage beside them (presumably having consumed it earlier), but they still retain their spot for one to three hours. I therefore have no choice but to consider my items takeout.

What is the etiquette for working with a laptop in a coffee shop? And what is a reasonable time frame for doing so?

GENTLE READER: This is a commercial transaction, but even commercial transactions can be gracious -- if everyone knows the rules and abides by them.

Unfortunately, no one does -- not only because camping out in the coffee shop is a relatively new phenomenon, so the rules are still evolving, but also because everyone has a strong opinion and is only too happy to share it. Those opinions are usually punctuated by scolding those who do not immediately comply.

A reasonable guideline is that as the establishment is selling refreshments, not office space, those who wish to remain should replenish their purchases at more-or-less regular intervals.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a text message argument with my best friend’s husband. None of the exchanges were offensive.

I thanked him kindly for trying to help find a job for my partner, but said that I preferred to handle the situation myself. I had mentioned that working as a caregiver to psychiatric patients was not in alignment with my partner's professional experience, and that I had concerns he could be potentially injured at the job. He then implied that my partner was unmotivated.

My friend said that her husband is very mad at me. She often invites me to see her new home; however, I do not want to inconvenience either of them. What should I say to my friend, as I genuinely do not want to annoy her husband?

GENTLE READER: Too late. You already annoyed him with your suggestion that psychiatric patients were going to injure your partner, and he already annoyed you by calling your partner unmotivated.

Assuming that you want to maintain the friendship, what you need to avoid is not your friend’s husband, but communicating with him only via text. Texting is already prone to misunderstandings because it strips out necessary context. This is exacerbated when the people on either end do not know one another well.

If you do not want to go to your friend's home, invite her to yours for some actual social interaction.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two months ago, my parents asked if they could stay with my fiancee and me for a few nights. (They live in a different part of the country.) After checking with my fiancee, we agreed, and my parents are coming for a four-night visit.

Last week, my fiancee announced that her mother and sister, who also live in a different part of the country, would be passing through town on either end of a vacation. We’ve agreed to host them for one night, but the other night overlaps with my parents’ visit.

My fiancee wants to offer to host them when my parents are here. I’ve suggested we pay for a hotel room instead.

There are a few issues at play: For one, my fiancee’s mother stayed with us for over a week in the spring, and my parents have never visited. And we only have one guest bed, so someone would need to sleep on an air mattress on the floor.

But what it really boils down to is that these sets of in-laws have never met each other. I think it would be best to introduce everyone over dinner -- after which, everyone can retreat to their own spaces -- rather than being jammed together in our smallish house. Am I being mean and ungenerous?

GENTLE READER: It has occurred to Miss Manners that the genie of legend may have taken to granting wishes based on an overly literal reading of summoners’ requests only after millennia of asking, “Is that really what you want?”

She has no insight into whether you are being mean or ungenerous. And she thinks many of the points you introduce will raise the temperature in an already-crowded house without solving the central question.

The question to be asked is, “Dearest, don’t you think that the best way for our parents to meet for the first time is over a lovely dinner -- not fighting for towels in the bathroom?” This will then lead logically to a hotel for her parents, since their stay is the shorter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am at a loss: My best friend has asked me to officiate her wedding to a guy I can’t stand. I’m not sure if I should tell her the truth or try to get out of it another way.

GENTLE READER: These are related, but separate, problems, which are going to require further inquiry into the reason for your dislike.

You should certainly tell your friend if your objections contain information she does not possess, and which would constitute a substantive reason for calling off the wedding -- for example, if you and her fiance are still legally married.

If your dislike affects only yourself, then you might find a reason that is less fully truthful, but also less likely to dampen your friend’s enthusiasm on the day -- perhaps that, if you were officiating, you do not feel you would be able to enjoy her happiness as much as you would like.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 67-year-old man who works out regularly at a gym. The gym is open 24/7, and members have a key fob to enter since it is not always staffed.

I was exercising at 9 p.m., and the only other person there was a young, attractive woman, probably in her 40s. We exchanged pleasantries. When I was finished with my workout, I realized I did not feel comfortable leaving a young woman alone there at night. I was especially concerned about her walking out to her car by herself.

After my workout, I sat on a bench near the door, waiting for her to finish so I could make sure she got to her car all right. Miss Manners, I did not keep talking to her while she finished exercising; I just looked at my phone quietly. I did nothing untoward to her.

As she left the building, she said, “Have a good night.” Then I watched her from inside the gym to make sure she got in her car safely. After she drove off, I left. I intentionally waited until her car drove away before leaving so she didn’t think I was trying to follow her.

Several days later, the gym owner approached me and said that when I’m finished exercising, I need to leave immediately and not linger. He said this was for the safety of all members.

Safety! That’s exactly why I was “lingering”!

Did I do something wrong here? Should a man not try to keep a woman safe? I thought I was being chivalrous.

GENTLE READER: How was the young lady supposed to know that?

If she, like you, worries about strange men targeting her -- well, what do you look like, hanging idly around while she is alone in the gym?

Miss Manners is all for people watching out for one another. But the trouble with chivalry is that the chevalier decides what is best for the lady without consulting her.

You could have said, “If you’re concerned about safety in the parking lot, I could stay and watch from the window to make sure you’re OK.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it bad manners to tell an old person that she looks young for her age?

GENTLE READER: Can’t you just tell her how good she looks?

Miss Manners is aware that the society considers it an embarrassment to grow older, and therefore most people are flattered to "pass" for ages younger than their own.

However, those who do not accept that premise consider it patronizing to be treated as if they do -- to be addressed as “young lady” or “young man” when one is obviously not, for instance. And there is no need to attach that to a compliment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My difficult mother-in-law has lost her husband. I don’t want to do anything for her, since she never appreciates it and always wants more. But I feel bad for her, since she is old and alone.

There are two sisters, but they don’t have a relationship with her. I am confused. What should I do?

GENTLE READER: You mean other than prompt your spouse to help his or her mother?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)