DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequently attend luncheons at which the entree consists of bagels, lox (smoked salmon) and cream cheese.

Bagels have grown in size substantially since my childhood. Nowadays, a whole bagel is too much for me, so I carefully take one half with the tongs provided. I spread it with cream cheese, then lay a slice or two of lox on top.

But no matter how carefully or slowly or seemingly thoroughly I bite into this open-faced sandwich, it is inevitable that the slice of lox slides off the top with my teeth embedded in it -- dangling there, despite the gluey nature of the cream cheese.

This is very unattractive. I came up with a solution that works for me: I hold the bagel in one hand and a fork in the other. I press down with the fork near where I take each bite, thus anchoring the slice of lox. Success! Am I horribly off base?

GENTLE READER: Well, the lox is staying on base, so we are halfway there.

You could also use a discreet finger to hold it in place, as long as you find a place to wash off any lingering fish smell afterwards.

A third option would be to take the lox off of the bagel and cut it on your plate -- preferably with a fish knife -- and then return it to the bagel, matching bite sizes with lox pieces.

But really, the fork method is acceptable, as long as you do it discreetly -- and, Miss Manners warns, as long as you promise not to turn your head too quickly, stabbing yourself in the cheek in the process.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I wonder if there is a proper way to greet people you never speak to, but see all the time, when you suddenly run into them in an entirely different setting.

I refer to them as the “SNOW” people: those you see regularly at work, school, the gym, church or around the neighborhood, with whom you always exchange a friendly Smile, Nod Or Wave.

Then one day, you see them at the supermarket. Your initial reaction is surprise (as if they don't exist outside the sphere you know them from), followed by joy and a desire to embrace them like a long-lost friend ... until you recover your senses and realize, with acute embarrassment, that you don't even know their first name!

It seems silly to say, “What are you doing here?” since the answer is obvious, but to ignore them seems equally rude. Do you exchange another friendly SNOW greeting and move on? Or does etiquette require actually speaking to them -- for perhaps the first time ever?

GENTLE READER: Another friendly SNOW. This necessitates, however, a third reaction in your repertoire, which is a somewhat deflated, but still polite, realization that you are only acquaintances. The person will likely mirror your reaction and be similarly content to move along.

But if you are ready to transition to a full-on greeting and name exchange, Miss Manners assures you that that is an option -- provided you are able to muster mutual consent from the other party.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is a ride on a motorcycle a good idea for a first date? My date showed up carrying two helmets and wearing a leather jacket.

I had to put my arms around him so as not to fall off the bike, which was embarrassing. My date is otherwise very traditional. The ride was fun, although we didn’t get a chance to talk.

GENTLE READER: Did you not eventually arrive somewhere?

Having to wrap your arms around this gentleman was no doubt part of his plan, and why he thought it would be a good first date -- and why Miss Manners does not. It requires too intimate of a gesture in the early stages, when you should be getting to know each other.

She suggests a coffee shop for your next date. If you grant him one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A frequent correspondent of mine includes a business closure on every social email: name, contact information details, quotation of support from a famous person. This addendum is 13 lines long.

If I respond and she writes back again, there’s that automatic closure. Before I respond in the chain, I delete her lengthy closure -- yes, each time it appears in the conversation.

I find this addendum pathetic. No one else I know intentionally includes a business closure with EVERY response. I often retain an entire email conversation if it answers a series of questions, and I resent editing this person’s automatic gobbledygook.

GENTLE READER: Is there a question in there? Or did you just want confirmation that your diagnosis of gobbledygook is correct and that your solution is polite?

Miss Manners assures you that it is -- as long as you do not reveal your insulting opinion. If asked about it, you can tell the correspondent that you wanted to track the conversation more easily. Which you should also refrain from calling gobbledygook.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend has this absolutely annoying habit of doing laundry while entertaining guests.

We are all aware that she has five children -- three of her own, and two of her sister's kids of whom she has custody -- and therefore probably has more laundry to do then some of us. But it is always thrown in everyone’s faces how much she has to do when she invites friends over for barbecues, Friday night get-togethers, whatever the case may be.

Personally, I feel that she is showing a total lack of respect for her guests when she can’t forgo the laundry for a couple of hours. It’s not like she doesn’t do it during the day, as well.

Is there a way to address this issue, or should I just stop going over to her house if I’m going to be annoyed by this? Believe me, I’m not the only one who is irritated by it.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps you and your annoyed friends could offer to help. She will probably say no, but it will be an acknowledgement of how hard she is working -- which is what Miss Manners is certain she wants to hear.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a cancer diagnosis two months ago. Initially, I was quite open in discussing it with others when warranted -- for example, explaining to co-workers why I would be out on certain days. I had a lot of optimism and didn’t feel I needed privacy, so I gave people carte blanche to ask questions.

Now I’m regretting the open invitation. My cancer is a little more serious than previously thought, and I’ve learned the hard way that well-meaning people accidentally deposit their fears and, frankly, conspiracies onto cancer patients.

It’s wearing away at what’s left of my optimism, and I’d really like to discuss anything else at this point. Is there a way to politely take back the invitation? Or am I just going to have to lie in the bed I made?

GENTLE READER: Only the truly heartless will ignore a direct request of, “Could we talk about something else?” For those who still persist, Miss Manners recommends either excusing yourself or asking something non-health-related about themselves that you are confident they would like to share.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a widowed longtime friend who is like a family member to me. He attends all our holiday meals. However, his partner of several years has become a problem.

She became aggressive at our daughter’s engagement party, arguing with my best friend over politics. She wouldn’t back down when asked to change the subject. She even demanded that my friend leave my house, which of course I would not allow.

This Thanksgiving, we were at the home of my son's in-laws, who graciously included my friend and his partner. The partner was on notice that this group did not like to talk politics and had different beliefs than hers. Even so, she again started talking about uncomfortable subjects, and I was asked to intervene.

She is getting a reputation for being difficult. I already invited them to an after-holidays party, but I can foresee more issues and don’t know what to do.

How do I either handle this at the party or disinvite them? I’m in a quandary. I don’t want my other friends leaving early to avoid her. Should I be honest with them? I know she’s not going to change.

GENTLE READER: This sounds like a better conversation to have privately with the longtime friend -- with the understanding that you are asking for his help in finding a way for everyone to get along, rather than coming in with a ready-made solution. (Certainly do not say that you are considering uninviting them to the party.)

Miss Manners suggests this approach because you will learn where you stand. Your friend is himself navigating an apparently difficult relationship, and you may find he understands the situation and perhaps has constructive suggestions.

If he instead says he sees no issues and that your family should just get over it, you may not be able to save the friendship, but it will still solve the long-term problem.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)