DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you think about employers who let their children come around the workplace to sell goodies to their employees? And worse yet, what about when the boss himself escorts his child around the building to sell stuff?

Yeah, I know, it's always for a good cause, but isn't that putting people on the spot, and not in very good taste? Nobody really wants to buy these things, but you always feel obligated, especially when the boss is standing right there!

GENTLE READER: And a nice lesson that is for the children -- not in salesmanship, but in the use of power to intimidate.

Miss Manners understands that you don't want to antagonize the boss, and hopes that you also want to avoid embarrassing the children. But that does not mean that you are obliged to buy anything you don't want.

Group action is the safest, of course. Perhaps you can get your colleagues to protest this, making an official complaint if necessary. But you can also handle it on your own by treating the children as the salespeople they are alleged to be. In a pleasant tone, ask about the merchandise -- its use, its sturdiness, whatever.

If the child is able to answer these questions, you may still say regretfully that the item does not meet your needs (although Miss Manners would probably be touched enough to buy). But if, as she suspects, the child is unprepared, you need only say regretfully that you can't commit to buying something you know so little about.

Let us hope that a responsible parent would understand and appreciate the value of this lesson to the child.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have received cards from a number of couples who are 30 to 40 years younger than we are. The return addresses and printed signatures are first-name only. Should we respond in kind, since my husband and I have different last names?

GENTLE READER: So that they will experience the frustration of some of their recipients, who are asking themselves, "Who are these people? Do we know any Jenna and Noah?" or "Which Emma and Everett could this be this from?"

Miss Manners asks you to resist that temptation and submit your full names.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a dog walker and pet care provider. I'm retired, 73 years old, and I have a lot of work around the holidays. My clients give me Christmas gifts. Should I just say "thank you" when I get something I don't need, or say I'd like to regift it?

This week, a client gave me a dog-walking tool that I already have. It's not too expensive -- maybe $30 -- and the gift bag also included treats for my dog. I already said thank you, but should I say anything else?

GENTLE READER: What would you say? Something along the lines of, "I have no use for this, so I'm going to get rid of it"?

Countering generosity by mentioning what a failure it was does not make anyone's Christmas merrier. Not even yours, next Christmas, when this client will have been discouraged by the effort to please you and will give up trying.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequently attend luncheons at which the entree consists of bagels, lox (smoked salmon) and cream cheese.

Bagels have grown in size substantially since my childhood. Nowadays, a whole bagel is too much for me, so I carefully take one half with the tongs provided. I spread it with cream cheese, then lay a slice or two of lox on top.

But no matter how carefully or slowly or seemingly thoroughly I bite into this open-faced sandwich, it is inevitable that the slice of lox slides off the top with my teeth embedded in it -- dangling there, despite the gluey nature of the cream cheese.

This is very unattractive. I came up with a solution that works for me: I hold the bagel in one hand and a fork in the other. I press down with the fork near where I take each bite, thus anchoring the slice of lox. Success! Am I horribly off base?

GENTLE READER: Well, the lox is staying on base, so we are halfway there.

You could also use a discreet finger to hold it in place, as long as you find a place to wash off any lingering fish smell afterwards.

A third option would be to take the lox off of the bagel and cut it on your plate -- preferably with a fish knife -- and then return it to the bagel, matching bite sizes with lox pieces.

But really, the fork method is acceptable, as long as you do it discreetly -- and, Miss Manners warns, as long as you promise not to turn your head too quickly, stabbing yourself in the cheek in the process.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I wonder if there is a proper way to greet people you never speak to, but see all the time, when you suddenly run into them in an entirely different setting.

I refer to them as the “SNOW” people: those you see regularly at work, school, the gym, church or around the neighborhood, with whom you always exchange a friendly Smile, Nod Or Wave.

Then one day, you see them at the supermarket. Your initial reaction is surprise (as if they don't exist outside the sphere you know them from), followed by joy and a desire to embrace them like a long-lost friend ... until you recover your senses and realize, with acute embarrassment, that you don't even know their first name!

It seems silly to say, “What are you doing here?” since the answer is obvious, but to ignore them seems equally rude. Do you exchange another friendly SNOW greeting and move on? Or does etiquette require actually speaking to them -- for perhaps the first time ever?

GENTLE READER: Another friendly SNOW. This necessitates, however, a third reaction in your repertoire, which is a somewhat deflated, but still polite, realization that you are only acquaintances. The person will likely mirror your reaction and be similarly content to move along.

But if you are ready to transition to a full-on greeting and name exchange, Miss Manners assures you that that is an option -- provided you are able to muster mutual consent from the other party.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is a ride on a motorcycle a good idea for a first date? My date showed up carrying two helmets and wearing a leather jacket.

I had to put my arms around him so as not to fall off the bike, which was embarrassing. My date is otherwise very traditional. The ride was fun, although we didn’t get a chance to talk.

GENTLE READER: Did you not eventually arrive somewhere?

Having to wrap your arms around this gentleman was no doubt part of his plan, and why he thought it would be a good first date -- and why Miss Manners does not. It requires too intimate of a gesture in the early stages, when you should be getting to know each other.

She suggests a coffee shop for your next date. If you grant him one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A frequent correspondent of mine includes a business closure on every social email: name, contact information details, quotation of support from a famous person. This addendum is 13 lines long.

If I respond and she writes back again, there’s that automatic closure. Before I respond in the chain, I delete her lengthy closure -- yes, each time it appears in the conversation.

I find this addendum pathetic. No one else I know intentionally includes a business closure with EVERY response. I often retain an entire email conversation if it answers a series of questions, and I resent editing this person’s automatic gobbledygook.

GENTLE READER: Is there a question in there? Or did you just want confirmation that your diagnosis of gobbledygook is correct and that your solution is polite?

Miss Manners assures you that it is -- as long as you do not reveal your insulting opinion. If asked about it, you can tell the correspondent that you wanted to track the conversation more easily. Which you should also refrain from calling gobbledygook.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend has this absolutely annoying habit of doing laundry while entertaining guests.

We are all aware that she has five children -- three of her own, and two of her sister's kids of whom she has custody -- and therefore probably has more laundry to do then some of us. But it is always thrown in everyone’s faces how much she has to do when she invites friends over for barbecues, Friday night get-togethers, whatever the case may be.

Personally, I feel that she is showing a total lack of respect for her guests when she can’t forgo the laundry for a couple of hours. It’s not like she doesn’t do it during the day, as well.

Is there a way to address this issue, or should I just stop going over to her house if I’m going to be annoyed by this? Believe me, I’m not the only one who is irritated by it.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps you and your annoyed friends could offer to help. She will probably say no, but it will be an acknowledgement of how hard she is working -- which is what Miss Manners is certain she wants to hear.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)