DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I meet new people and tell them where I earned my bachelor’s degree and what my plans for the future are, I frequently get comments and questions such as, "Wow, you must be really smart," or "Did you do well on the MCAT?" or "What was your GPA?"

Having been raised to consider this information personal, I am unsure how to respond. It is not information I feel comfortable sharing with people I know, much less people I have just met.

If the questions are yes-or-no (such as "Did you always excel at school?"), stating "yes" comes across as though I am bragging, but to say "no" would be a lie. (When I once replied "yes" to this type of question, the person responded by telling me that I was cocky.)

How do I respond to these inappropriate questions without seeming either rude or arrogant?

GENTLE READER: What house were you in?

Sorry, just a little joke from a school where they learn to avoid that tedious conversation by answering “Where did you go to college?” with “In the northeast.”

But your questioners are also asking about test scores? Miss Manners would be unable to resist asking incredulously, “Do you even remember your old test scores?”

And if they say yes, you can say, “Well, you must be really smart.” Without adding “... and must not have a life.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m pleased that our daughter is teaching her children (ages 4 and 7) about thank-you notes. My question concerns the e-card version of this.

With a written note, certainly a parent must stamp and address it, and perhaps hover over the child to inspire them to write. But the results are a delight for both receiver (sweet childish notes, misspellings and all!) and sender (learning to express thankfulness).

With an e-card, one wonders if the child had any role at all, and if so, what they learned from it. Even if the child could type, does a mailed birthday card, attached to a package or gift of money, merit only an e-card reply?

This may be an issue the generations view quite differently -- that mailed thank-yous, birthday and anniversary greetings may be seen as charming but archaic.

If etiquette suggests we get with the times, I will receive these e-thanks as happily as handwritten ones. (And if so, I assume texting and regular emails also suffice.) At the moment, though, I am slightly disappointed.

GENTLE READER: That is because your daughter taught part of the lesson, but not the hard part.

That presents require thanks is the first major lesson, especially as it is no longer universally practiced. So that is valuable.

What she has apparently not taught is that it is not enough to send a mere receipt, such as a rote text, which is probably pre-composed. Rather, the expression must be personal. Even toddlers can be urged to say something sincere and specific -- about both the present and the donor’s kindness.

That is a lesson that has an even deeper value than the essential social one.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When did people become so insecure that they take offense at pretty much everything?

I’ve noticed a huge shift. Compliments given by strangers are now considered an insult or an attack against their feelings. A mom is insulted, a woman with a pretty hairstyle is offended, someone with a nice outfit is annoyed. "You look nice today" is taken as saying she looks bad the rest of the week.

What’s wrong with people?

What is a society when nobody talks to anyone, and we let insecurities turn us cold and isolated? Then you have people saying, "I’m lonely and no one talks to me." Well, what did you expect?

Due to being a single mom, people often ask what happened to cause my divorce. I just laugh and tell the truth -- that I was young and dumb -- and everyone always laughs in agreement. This has started some very funny conversations, and it has also started conversations with women who are struggling in their own marriages and need someone to talk to.

Due to financial struggles, I have purchased 99% of my clothes at resale shops or garage sales. I have always gotten compliments on my clothes; some women even ask where I bought my blouse, jacket, etc.

Do I get insulted, and say, “Oh my gosh, how dare she intrude in my life struggles”? No. I say, “Thank you -- and you know, I’ve had it so long I don’t remember where I bought it.” Compliment given, compliment accepted.

My faith keeps me motivated to be happy and kind to others. Here’s a final thought: If you use your time and energy to be happy and kind to others, you won’t have the time to look for insults where no insult exists.

A compliment to a stranger might just be what they need that day!

GENTLE READER: Or not.

Yet Miss Manners agrees that the unpleasant habit of taking insult when none was intended is widespread. She admires and appreciates your behavior. Indeed, the world would be a lot more pleasant if people presumed goodwill in others.

There are exceptions, of course: compliments that are salacious, for example. Questions that imply a slur. Or plain nosiness, which is also rampant. No one should feel forced to answer personal questions.

But barbed comments from strangers may be ignored, and nosy questions may be deflected. All Miss Manners asks is that they not inspire further rudeness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 56 years old and have a special person in my life. When we go out and meet people, how do I introduce her? As my girlfriend, my lady friend, my pillow pal? Please help.

GENTLE READER: Only if you expunge the term “pillow pal,” which has left Miss Manners with a mental picture she would prefer not to entertain.

The accepted term for an established unmarried couple is now “partner.” Short of that is “friend.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in my friend’s wedding a year ago, and now her anniversary is coming up. However, in the last six months, it does not seem like the marriage is going well, and I’m honestly not sure if the couple is still together.

This leads me to wonder whether I should even mention her anniversary on the day. I think texting “Happy anniversary!” is out of the question, and even posting something like, “Ah! A year ago, we were all together, celebrating you!” feels like it would just make my friend feel bad that her marriage did not go the way she expected. But then, it also seems rude to not say anything!

GENTLE READER: If you do not know if the couple is still together, then Miss Manners infers that your own interactions with the bride have also been somewhat infrequent -- supplemented, perhaps, by digital glimpses over social media.

In such a case, you would not be expected to have an exact recollection of an anniversary date, and may therefore confine yourself to simply checking in, as the saying goes. If you invite her out for a meal around the one-year mark, it could be explained (as you learn more) as either a sympathy visit or a celebration.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family holds an annual reunion, and members rotate who hosts it. One night of the reunion weekend is typically a nice dinner.

Our cousins hosted this year’s reunion dinner, and just before the meal, several of their friends arrived. These guests were not family members, and over half of the family did not know them.

These people were very nice, and we enjoyed their company, but none of us were aware that non-family members would be invited, and there was no precedence for inviting friends to our family reunion.

Some of us found it to be inappropriate, but we are curious what Miss Manners thinks. Should we say anything to the hosts?

GENTLE READER: You could ask them if this is the new precedent: “We were so happy to meet your friends, but I think some family members were surprised and confused that we had acquired new ones. Should we open up our reunion to others from now on?”

If the friends were pleasant, however, Miss Manners does not see any reason to exclude them on principle. You may even find it is more fun to have them there. Most families behave better when there’s outside company.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The owners of a business for whom I did some work threw a company barbecue and asked guests to sign up to bring a dish.

I was stunned, and did not attend for a few reasons: 1. The staff creates the owners' income for them. 2. A sign-up sheet? Really?? And 3. The owners are VERY wealthy. A caterer would have been very accessible.

GENTLE READER: This company may want to solicit more effective ways to thank their employees. Miss Manners suggests they put up a sign-up sheet.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)