Recompose, a company in Kent, Washington, now offers an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional burial -- human composting. The Seattle Times reported that on Dec. 20, the first bodies were "laid in" -- placed in steel cylinders full of soil, where decedents rest for 30 days, covered with wood chips and straw. After that, they're moved to a "curing bin" to finish releasing carbon dioxide, and then remains can be returned to family or donated to an ecological restoration project near Vancouver. According to Recompose, the "finished soil is very similar to the topsoil bought at a local nursery." "This is a very controlled process, completely driven by microbes," explained CEO Katrina Spade. "It's fueled by plant material and monitored in a very rigorous way." The entire process costs $5,500 and includes an optional service. [Seattle Times, 1/22/2021]

Mistaken Identity

-- Lisa Boothroyd, 48, of Rugby in Warwickshire, England, got a shock when the handful of popping candies she ate turned out to be small novelty fireworks used as noisemakers instead. The box of Fun Snaps was shelved among other candies at her local Costcutter store, she told the Daily Mail on Jan. 18, and the packaging was similar, but the result was painful: Boothroyd reported chemical burns on her lips and gums and a cracked tooth. "That moment I crunched down was terrifying," Boothroyd said. "I felt explosions in my mouth followed by burning pain." A spokesperson for Costcutter said the Fun Snaps would be "(removed) from the confectionery section with immediate effect." [Daily Mail, 1/18/2021]

-- A woman in Cajeme, Mexico, identified only as Leonora R., faces charges of domestic violence after repeatedly stabbing her husband when she found photos of him having sex with a younger, thinner woman on his phone, according to police. Local media reported the husband was eventually able to disarm his wife and clarify that it was HER in the photos, which were taken when they were dating. The New York Daily News reported on Jan. 26 that police responding to neighbors' calls for help arrived and arrested her. [NY Daily News, 1/26/2021]

News You Can Use

Japanese entrepreneur Shota Ishida, 30, has zeroed in on a way to relieve the anxiety felt by a narrow niche of people: the roughly 1% of the population, he says, who worry about body odor. "It's something they can't bring up with friends or family," he told CBS News, so they turn to his company, Odorate, for a scientific analysis to determine whether they are emitting offensive odors. Customers create a smell sample by wearing a plain white T-shirt enhanced with odor-absorbing activated charcoal for 24 hours, then mail it to Ishida's lab north of Tokyo. For about $150, Ishida will subject the sample to GC-MS analysis (a technology used to identify unknown chemicals) and produce a report, which can include such descriptions as "old-age smell" or "onions starting to rot." He says about half of his customers are given the all-clear, with no obvious offensive odors. "Getting the facts is a huge relief for (clients)," he said. [CBS News, 1/25/2021]

Weird Science

In a first for paleontologists, the perfectly preserved anus of a dinosaur has been found in China. Psittacosaurus, a Cretaceous-period relative of the Triceratops, was about the size of a dog, and researcher Jakob Vinther of the University of Bristol in the United Kingdom described the discovery as "unique" to Live Science. "It's like a Swiss Army knife of excretory openings," used for pooping, peeing, breeding and egg laying. It was not clear to the researchers whether the dinosaur was male or female. [Live Science, 1/19/2021]

Antisocial Skills

Trevor Savok, 20, is suspected of stealing underwear and AirPods on Jan. 17 from a group of young women staying at a Las Vegas area hotel, and leaving behind a note illustrated with a hand-drawn heart in one of their bags reading, "Text me if you want your panties back," according to court documents. The women contacted Savok, who said he would return the underwear if they sent pictures of their private parts, KTNV-TV reported. Police arrested Savok, who worked at the hotel, and are asking the public's help in finding more possible victims. [KTNV, 1/22/2021]

Least Competent Criminal

As paramedics in Houston responded to a call on Jan. 21, Renaldo Leonard, 36, jumped into their Houston Fire Department ambulance and drove, emergency lights flashing, about 4 miles to a Jack in the Box, where he got in the drive-thru lane, according to police. The Smoking Gun reported the ambulance was tracked to the restaurant, and Leonard was arrested and charged with felony theft of the vehicle, which is valued at more than $150,000. [The Smoking Gun, 1/22/2021]

Creepy

Monica Green noticed a few things out of order when she returned to her home in Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia, on Jan. 18: The back door was open, the air conditioner was running and a half-cooked meal of chicken nuggets was left in her kitchen. Green called police, who discovered an attic opening was partially removed, but instead of finding someone hiding up there, they determined someone had been living there, perhaps for some time, News.com.au reported. "I felt shocked, terrified, scared," said Green, a mother of three children. "Being alone in the home scares me." Green said she had noticed food missing and her security camera disabled in the days before the discovery, but she thought they were just coincidences or her imagination. Police have not caught the intruder. [News.com.au, 1/21/2021]

Oops

The Monroe Township (Michigan) Fire Department launched a rescue mission on Jan. 26 after receiving a call about a goose or duck possibly injured and in distress on the frozen River Raisin. Firefighters suited up and headed out on the ice, WXYZ-TV reported, but realized upon closer inspection that the bird was just a hunting decoy. "It ended up being a good training session, actually," said Chief Mark Cherney. "In the end, we can sleep well at night. A bird is not suffering." [WXYZ, 1/27/2021]

Recent Alarming Headlines

Police in Rome, New York, responding to an animal cruelty complaint on Jan. 13, arrived at a home to find a man cooking a canine on an outdoor grill, police said. The unnamed man cooperated with police, saying the animal was a coyote -- which would be legal in New York, as hunting and trapping the canines is allowed with a license, WNBC-TV reported. Animal control officers took the carcass to Cornell University for testing to determine its species. [WNBC, 1/20/2021]

The Continuing Crisis

Authorities who pulled over a pickup truck in Elsberry, Missouri, soon discovered the vehicle had been stolen, KMOV-TV reported on Jan. 25, so they headed to the owner's home, where they found skeletal remains in another vehicle in the garage and a ransacked house. Lincoln County Sheriff Rick Harrell said the body may have been there since last summer and "a group of criminal opportunists ... had just ransacked the residence and taken many items. We've recovered stolen vehicles, stolen firearms and tens of thousands of dollars in other related items." The scavengers would have had to walk right past the body for months as they removed items, he added. Prosecutors are working to bring charges against 25 suspects, and there may be more, authorities said. Investigators have not yet identified the remains or determined exactly when the person died. [KMOV, 1/25/2021]

LEAD STORY -- Too Hot to Handle

The Sun reported on Jan. 18 that a woman in the United Kingdom suffered an "inferno" in her living room after a candle exploded as she was lighting it. Jody Thompson, 50, won the candle, labeled "This Candle Smells Like My Vagina," in an online quiz from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop website. "The candle exploded and emitted huge flames," Thompson said, "with bits flying everywhere. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch." Thompson and her partner "eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door." [The Sun, 1/18/2021]

In Plane Sight

On Jan. 16 at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, two employees of United Airlines approached a man and asked for his ID. Aditya Singh, 36, of Orange, California, produced an employee badge, but it was not his: Another employee had reported it missing on Oct. 26, the Chicago Tribune reported. Authorities said Singh had arrived at O'Hare on Oct. 19 from Los Angeles and was too afraid to fly back home because of COVID-19, so he hid in a secured area of the airport for three months, living off food given to him by strangers. Singh is unemployed but has a master's degree in hospitality and doesn't have a criminal background. He was charged with felony criminal trespass. [Chicago Tribune, 1/17/2021]

The Devil Made Them Do It

Members of Poughkeepsie, New York's Church of Satan are down in the dumps this week after someone torched their gathering place, known as "Halloween House," on Jan. 14. According to the Poughkeepsie Journal, video footage shows a person carrying two gas cans, splashing liquid on the front porch, lighting it and running away. Two people who were inside at the time escaped unharmed; the arsonist has not been caught. "Sadly there are some 'people of faith' who are intolerant, and typically ignorant, of other belief systems," noted Church of Satan high priest Peter H. Gilmore. Church member Isis Vermouth called the arson a "terror attack. Whoever did this is going to be hexed by all of us," she said. "I just don't understand why anyone would want to piss off Satanic witches. 'Cause now there's going to be hell to pay." [Poughkeepsie Journal, 1/19/2021]

Unclear on the Concept

Nicholas Debetes, 18, was finally placed in handcuffs in Titusville, Florida, on Jan. 14, after Brevard County officers chased him as he drove "at an extremely high rate of speed" to his mother's trailer. Debetes, Click Orlando reported, had a unique excuse: "If I would have tried to stop quicker I would have crashed the vehicle," he told police. He went on to say that his mother wanted him home for an unknown reason. Debetes had an outstanding warrant and was driving a stolen Hyundai Elantra. [Click Orlando, 1/18/2021]

Police Report

In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, Curtis McCoy, 46, and his husband of 10 years got into a spat "that escalated since they have been drinking alcohol" on Jan. 17, police reported. The argument got out of hand when McCoy "brought up how the victim has only one testicle which caused the victim to get upset," according to The Smoking Gun. When the victim pointed his finger at McCoy, he grabbed and twisted it, "causing him pain." McCoy was arrested for domestic violence; his criminal history includes shoplifting, disorderly conduct, assault, larceny and other offenses. [The Smoking Gun, 1/19/2021]

Irony

Esequiel Robles, 40, was caught after a traffic stop in Williston, North Dakota, with methamphetamine and drug paraphernalia on Jan. 14. The Smoking Gun reported that Robles was on probation for narcotics possession at the time, following a 2019 conviction for meth possession. Notably, however, when Robles was arrested, he was wearing a T-shirt with the message, "Don't Do Drugs." Do as I say, not as I do. [The Smoking Gun, 1/15/2021]

Least Competent Criminals

-- On Jan. 7, police received a call from a 7-Eleven store in Lehi, Utah, where earlier in the day a man wearing a "sheriff's deputy" jacket stole a doughnut, then left in a white pickup truck. KUTV reported that Lehi police examined surveillance video and tracked the truck to a nearby motel parking lot, where they knocked on the door of 47-year-old Daniel Mark Wright, who was staying there. As officers spoke with Wright, they saw a Salt Lake County Sheriff's jacket hanging in the room's closet. They arrested Wright for impersonation of an officer and theft, along with receiving or transfer of a stolen vehicle in relation to the truck. Wright, his companion, Christian Olson, and another accomplice are also under investigation for racketeering. [KUTV, 1/18/2021]

-- Leobardo Hernandez, 32, of Pomona, California, went to extraordinary lengths on Jan. 16 to evade police after allegedly stealing a car. As Hernandez ran from officers, he entered an apartment complex and found an unlocked door, the Daily Bulletin reported. The apartment residents were not at home, so Hernandez moved right in, shaving his face, changing clothes and even cooking tortillas to make it seem as if he lived there. Unfortunately, he also burned the tortillas, summoning the fire department. Hernandez eventually surrendered and was charged with burglary and possession of a stolen vehicle among other offenses. [Daily Bulletin, 1/18/2021]

Awwwwww

Russell Jones of London couldn't figure out why his dog, Billy, was favoring one of his front paws while walking. He took the pet to the veterinarian to have X-rays, United Press International reported, but the vet found nothing wrong. Jones, however, had recently broken his own ankle and was wearing a cast and limping. At the $400 vet visit, the doctor suggested that Billy was simply imitating his owner. Man's best friend, indeed. [United Press International, 1/19/2021]

What's in a Name?

Before social distancing and masks became the world's norm, CBS News reported on Jan. 12, Paul O'Sullivan of Baltimore was noodling around on Facebook one night, searching for other Paul O'Sullivans. Several of those he found accepted his friend request, which was when he noticed that some were musicians, as he was. Baltimore Paul, as he's known, reached out to others, and eventually he and three others formed the Paul O'Sullivan Band. Manchester Paul plays bass; Pennsylvania Paul is the percussionist; and Baltimore Paul and Rotterdam Paul play guitar and sing. They recorded a single at the beginning of 2020, but when COVID hit, they thought it was a great opportunity to make a whole album. "It feels great to be able to contact people on the other side of the world when you're in lockdown because you don't feel alone at the moment," commented Rotterdam Paul. "If you learn to play an instrument, it can help you through some dark times," said Manchester Paul. [CBS News, 1/12/2021]

Government in Action

Bigfoot hunters in Oklahoma will be happy to know that their pastime could get its own season, KOKH reported. State Rep. Justin Humphrey introduced a bill on Jan. 20 asking the Oklahoma Wildlife Commission to establish a Bigfoot hunting season, "set annual season dates and create any necessary specific hunting licenses and fees." Southeastern and south-central Oklahoma is infamous for Bigfoot sightings, including a large festival (canceled this year because of COVID-19). If passed, the bill would become effective in November. [KOKH, 1/20/2021]

Two Florida residents, Brian Montalvo Tolentino, 43, of Davenport and Juan Burgos-Lopez, 39, of Lake Wales, admitted to police they had removed four human skulls from tombs they had robbed in Mount Dora, WKMG-TV reported. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd told local media on Jan. 8 that detectives serving a search warrant on Burgos-Lopez's property found a shed containing a ritualistic shrine and seven skulls the men told authorities they used in the practice of the Palo Mayombe religion. Three of the four graves robbed were of members of the armed forces because, Judd said, Lopez told authorities "the spirit is much stronger in a hero" and "it can protect you from evil." Before vandalizing the graves, Judd added, the men drank rum and spit it on the ground, then smoked a cigar and exhaled the smoke "to protect them from the spirits." DNA on the cigars led authorities to the suspects. [WKMG, 1/8/2021]

When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best

Romney Christopher Ellis, 57, of Indianapolis, was sentenced to four years and 10 months in prison on Jan. 5 by a federal court in Tampa, Florida, after waging a four-year-long campaign to harass and threaten his ex-wife, including at one point sending a package with a dead rat and a black rose to her home, according to court records. Ellis also threatened to decapitate her and set her on fire. Postal inspectors searched Ellis' home in February, reported the Associate Press, uncovering evidence, and he pleaded guilty in April. [Associated Press via WKMG, 1/6/2021]

People and Their Pets

-- The South Korean startup Petpuls Lab has announced it developed an AI dog collar that can help owners discern what emotions their pets are feeling based on how they bark. "This device gives a dog a voice so that humans can understand," the company's director of global marketing, Andrew Gil, told Reuters. The collar detects five emotions, and owners can find out through a smartphone app if their pets are happy, relaxed, anxious, angry or sad. Seoul National University tested the device and declared it has a 90% average accuracy rate. The collar sells for $99. [Reuters, 1/12/2021]

-- A couple in Sherbrooke, Quebec, were each fined $1,500 on Jan. 9, when police spotted the pair walking outside about an hour after the city's 8 p.m. curfew, with the husband wearing a leash, CTV News reported. The city's curfew allows for dog-walking after 8 p.m., but police rejected the couple's claim they were following the rules. It was the first weekend under new province-wide restrictions imposed by Premier Francois Legault, and officers throughout Quebec handed out more than 750 tickets. [CTV News, 1/12/2021]

Police Report

Police in the Japanese community of Funabashi City have arrested Ryusei Takada, 26, for allegedly stealing more than a dozen toilets from houses under construction. The Daily Mail reported the thefts began in October and continued, with local media dubbing the elusive thief the God of Toilets, until Takata flushed himself out by selling a brand-new fixture to a secondhand store in the city. Takada, a construction company office worker, admitted to the thefts and said he did it "to cover my living expenses." [The Daily Mail, 1/13/2021]

Inexplicable

An armed man wearing camouflage tactical gear approached a 23-year-old worker as she was leaving the Cranbourne West Lost Dogs Home in Melbourne, Australia, about 11:30 p.m. on Jan. 11 and demanded she turn over her cellphone, Detective Senior Sergeant Glen Cruse told the media. Victoria police said the man pointed his gun at the woman, then took her inside the shelter, tied her up and "asked where the cats were before he left the room and didn't return," the Daily Star reported. The woman freed herself and called for help; police are still looking for the man, and a motive. [Daily Star, 1/12/2021]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Veronica Gutierrez, 36, was arrested in Palm Springs, California, on Jan. 5 after allegedly carjacking an SUV that afternoon in Rosemead, an incident that was complicated by the fact that the car owner's 84-year-old mother was in the passenger seat at the time, according to authorities. Police Sgt. Richard Lewis said the owner had left the SUV's motor running with the heater on for her mother when the suspect drove off, eventually letting the mother go in Desert Hot Springs, more than 100 miles away. The East Bay Times reported the mother was unharmed, and Gutierrez was being held on suspicion of kidnapping for carjacking. [East Bay Times, 1/8/2021]

New Food

The European Food Safety Agency on Jan. 13 approved yellow grubs, aka mealworms, as its first insect "novel food," to be used whole and dried in curries and as flour to make pastas and breads, Reuters reported. Mealworms are rich in protein, fat and fiber, according to agency food scientist Ermolaos Ververis, and "there is great interest ... in the edible insect sector." But sociologists point out that "the so-called 'yuck factor' (may) make the thought of eating insects repellent to many Europeans," said consumer researcher Giovanni Sogari of the University of Parma in Italy. "With time and exposure, such attitudes can change," he added. [Reuters, 1/13/2021]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

An unidentified man, who authorities said appeared to be intoxicated, was taken into custody on Jan. 13 by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission after local U.S. Coast Guard crews found him onboard a stolen floating tiki hut near Hawk's Channel in Key West, WTVJ-TV reported. The man was charged with grand theft and resisting an officer without violence. The Coast Guard posted photos of the tiki hut and warned, "Don’t drink and boat!" [WTVJ, 1/14/2021]

Least Competent Criminals

Aasim J. Hilts, 26, of Albany, New York, and Shariff A. Frasier of Schenectady returned their rental car on Jan. 13, leaving behind an impressive amount of drugs and paraphernalia, The Daily Gazette reported. Albany County Sheriff's deputies were called and arrived about the same time Hilts and Frasier returned to pick up their forgotten items, authorities said, which included heroin, oxycodone pills pressed with fentanyl, marijuana and almost $6,000 in cash. Both men were arrested and face drug charges. [The Daily Gazette, 1/13/2021]

Awesome!

-- Joe the Pigeon, named after the new U.S. president, has become world-famous after being found in a Melbourne, Australia, backyard on Dec. 26 with a band around his leg that suggested he was a racing pigeon from Oregon, 8,000 miles away. Australian authorities declared the bird a biosecurity risk and announced they would have to euthanize him, the Associated Press reported, but Joe received a last-minute reprieve when Deone Roberts of the American Racing Pigeon Union declared on Jan. 15 that the band around Joe's leg is "counterfeit and not traceable." Australia's Agriculture Department agreed, saying in a statement that Joe "is highly likely to be Australian," and it would take no further action against him. [Associated Press, 1/14/2021]

-- Residents of Chikuzen Town, Fukuoka Prefecture, in Japan, have constructed a towering, 23-foot-tall gorilla scarecrow as a symbol of power and strength to scare away COVID-19. SoraNews24 reported construction of the gorilla, made of a steel frame covered with rice straw resembling gorilla fur, took two months and was finished in early December. Its open mouth reveals terrifying fangs, and at night its red eyes light up. "Proud Gorilla 2020" is the sixth in a series of giant scarecrows the town constructs each year. [SoraNews24, 1/14/2021]