When 5-year-old TyLon Pittman of Byram, Mississippi, saw the Grinch stealing Christmas on Dec. 16 on TV, he did what any civic-minded citizen would do. He called 911. TyLon told Byram police officer Lauren Develle, who answered the call, that he did not want the Grinch to come steal his Christmas, reported the Clarion Ledger. Develle made TyLon an honorary junior officer and had him come down to the station on Dec. 18 to help her lock away the Grinch, who hung his head as TyLon asked him, "Why are you stealing Christmas?" Although the green fiend apologized, TyLon wouldn't release him from the holding cell. Police chief Luke Thompson told TyLon to come back when he's 21, "and I'm going to give you a job application, OK?" [Clarion Ledger, 12/18/2017]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

In Gilgandra, New South Wales, Australia, on Nov. 29, sheep shearer Casey Barnes was tramping down wool, and her father and boyfriend were working nearby, when her long, curly hair became caught in a belt-driven motor. Horrifically, the motor ripped her scalp off from the back of her head to above her eyes and ears. Barnes was flown to Sydney, where doctors performed an emergency 20-hour surgery to save her scalp, but were ultimately unsuccessful. Barnes will have artificial skin attached to her head instead, reports The Sun. A GoFundMe page has been established to help with her medical bills. [The Sun, 12/19/2017]

Self-Absorbent

The Tea Terrace in London is offering a new way for customers to enjoy themselves -- literally. On Dec. 16, the shop began selling the "Selfieccino," an image of the customer's face in the frothy topping of either a cappuccino or a hot chocolate. Patrons send an photo to the shop via an online messaging app, and the "Cino" machine takes it from there, reproducing the picture with flavorless food coloring in about four minutes. "Due to social media," shop owner Ehab Salem Shouly told Reuters, "the dining experience has completely shifted. It's not enough anymore to just deliver great food and great service -- it's got to be Instagram-worthy." [Reuters, 12/19/2017]

An Engaged Citizenry

Pam Bisanti, a 31-year resident of Mount Dora, Florida, has approached the city council more than once about the speeding traffic along Clayton Street, where she lives. On Nov. 27, Bisanti made good on her threat to take matters into her own hands if the council didn't by wielding a handmade sign reading "SLOW DOWN" as she stood next to the roadway during rush hour wearing her pajamas and robe. "The mothers up the street who send their kids down to the bus stop should have every expectation that those kids will be able to cross Clayton without being killed," Bisanti told the Daily Commercial, saying she plans to continue her protest until the city takes action. "I am frustrated, angry and fed up. There needs to be a solution sooner than later. Remember that vision of me in my pajamas," she added. [Daily Commercial, 11/28/2017]

Unclear on the Concept

Melissa Allen, 32, was arrested on Dec. 19 after attempting to shoplift more than $1,000 in merchandise from a Framingham, Massachusetts, Target store, reported the Boston Globe. On hand to help in the arrest were more than 50 police officers who were at the store to participate in the annual "Shop With a Cop" holiday charity event. [Boston Globe, 12/20/2017]

Unintended Consequences

Stephen Allen of Tukwila, Washington, moved in with his grandmother years ago to help care for her. When she died last year, he invited his brother, a convicted drug dealer, to move in, but along with him came drug activity, squatters, stolen property and debris. Allen eventually asked police to raid the home, but when they did on Dec. 15, they evicted Allen as well, leaving him homeless. "It's all legal, but it's wrong," Allen told KIRO-7 News. "I can't do anything about it." [KIRO-7, 12/16/2017]

The Call of Nature

Tracy Hollingsworth Stephens, 50, of Alachua, Florida, answered nature's call on Nov. 25 by stopping her car in the middle of County Road 232 and stepping outside. An officer of the Florida Highway Patrol soon took notice as he had been searching for Stephens following her involvement in a two-car collision in the parking lot of a nearby T.J. Maxx store earlier that day. Stephens subsequently underperformed on a field sobriety test, according to The Independent Florida Alligator, and was arrested for driving under the influence and leaving the scene of an accident. [The Independent Florida Alligator, 11/26/2017]

The Sunshine State

-- Workers at Captain Hiram's Sandbar in Sebastian, Florida, resorted to calling police on Nov. 17 when customer William Antonio Olivieri, 63, refused to leave the bar after a night of drinking. Olivieri told Sebastian police he had arrived by boat, but when a quick walk down a nearby dock failed to uncover the boat, he said perhaps he had driven himself to the bar in a black Hyundai. Throughout the interview with police, reported the Sebastian Daily, Olivieri also maintained that he was in downtown Melbourne, Florida, where he lives. Finally, he was arrested on a charge of disorderly intoxication and taken to the Indian River County Jail. [Sebastian Daily, 11/21/2017]

-- Sumter County, Florida, sheriff's deputies were dispatched to The Villages on Nov. 19 where resident Lori Jo Matthews, 60, reportedly barked at her neighbor's dogs, then entered her neighbor's yard, yelling at the neighbor and finally slapping the neighbor after being told to leave. Deputies caught up with Matthews as she attempted to enter her own home, where she was handcuffed and arrested on charges of battery and resisting arrest. Alcohol, reported Villages-News.com, may have been involved. [Villages-News.com, 11/20/2017]

Alarming Animal

North Fort Myers, Florida, homeowner Joanie Mathews was terrorized for hours on Nov. 14 by a large pig that wandered into her yard overnight and spent the day destroying the lawn and biting Mathews three times before trapping her in the cab of her truck. "She would circle the truck ... and I would jump in the back seat and I was like 'Go away, pig!" Mathews told NBC-2 TV. Mathews finally called law enforcement, and it took three Lee County sheriff's officers to wrangle the testy porker. "It was just hilarious because the pig fought them every which way," Mathews said. No one, at press time, had stepped forward to claim the pig. [NBC-2, 11/14/2017]

Two American tourists, Joseph Dasilva, 38, and Travis Dasilva, 36, of San Diego, were arrested in Bangkok, Thailand, on Nov. 28 and detained in an immigration detention center after they posted a "butt-selfie" on Instagram, taken in front of the Buddhist temple Wat Arun, or Temple of the Dawn. The pair's Instagram account, traveling_butts, showcased their hindquarters at tourist sites around the world, but it was deleted shortly after the arrests. District police chief Jaruphat Thongkomol told Reuters that the two would also be fined for a similar photo at a different temple. [Reuters, 11/29/2017]

But Why?

In Birmingham, England, renowned 53-year-old surgeon Simon Bramhall pleaded guilty on Dec. 13 to branding his initials onto human livers using an argon beam during transplant surgeries. A colleague first noticed the initials "S.B." in 2013 on an organ during a follow-up surgery, which sparked an investigation, the Guardian reported. Bramhall resigned in 2014 and acknowledged that marking his patients' livers had been a mistake. But former patient Tracy Scriven of Dyrham, Wiltshire, told the Birmingham Mail that he should be reinstated. "Is it really that bad? I wouldn't have cared if he did it to me. The man saved my life." [The Guardian, 12/13/2017]

Inept Santa Moves

Jesse Berube, 32, of Rocklin, California, tried using a favorite trick of Old St. Nick -- but he got stuck in the chimney of a Citrus Heights business he was trying to rob on Dec. 13 and had to call police for help. ABC News reported that Sacramento firefighters responded and used special equipment to free Berube, who now faces one count of burglary. Citrus Heights police said Berube "does not have the same skills as the real deal." [ABC News, 12/16/2017]

The Check's in the Mail

Lorette Taylor of Burlington, Ontario, Canada, responsible for meting out her family's inheritance after her father's death sent a bank draft last February to her brother, Louis Paul Hebert, for $846,648.46 via UPS. Hebert waited at his local UPS store for the check to arrive -- but nothing came in. "I came back in the evening. Nothing shows up," he told the CBC. UPS could trace the package only to its distribution center north of Toronto, so along with an apology for Hebert's inconvenience, UPS refunded the $32 shipping fee. Taylor's bank, TD Canada Trust, initially assured her the check would be canceled, but two days later refused to issue a new draft until Taylor signed an indemnity agreement making her and her heirs liable for life should the original check be cashed. Not only that, the bank then asked her to put up collateral against the new bank draft, but that request was later recalled. Finally, 10 months after the whole ordeal began, the bank released the money, and Hebert, at press time in December, was making the 273-mile drive to pick up the check in person. [CBC, 12/14/2017]

Awesome!

An unnamed newborn boy underwent surgery at the Scientific Research Institute of Pediatrics in Baku, Azerbaijan, to remove a small remainder of a parasitic twin that had attached itself to the baby's back: a penis. Gunduz Agayev, head of the institute's neonatology department, reported to Metro News in December that the baby "has a normal sexual organ where it is supposed to be" and "the penis on the back ... has been surgically removed." The newborn was not traumatized by the surgery and is already at home with his parents, the doctor said. [Metro News, 12/18/2017]

Channeling Mike Tyson

British model Chloe Hammond, 27, also known as Chloe Rebelle, succumbed to a fit of road rage on March 19 when Julie Holloway, 56, tapped on her car window to ask her to stop using her phone while driving in traffic in London. Metro News reports that Hammond responded by parking her Audi TT and then "came out of nowhere" toward Holloway, kicking her in the stomach, grabbing Holloway's hair and biting off a piece of her ear. Holloway, bloodied and disturbed, didn't realize part of her ear was missing until someone "picked it up off the floor." In October, Hammond was convicted of causing grievous bodily harm with intent in Southwark Crown Court, and on Dec. 18, a judge sentenced her to five years in jail. [Metro News, 12/18/2017]

Inexplicable

Don't you ever just want to get away? An unnamed man in Catherine Way, Batheaston, England, started digging a "very deep" hole in his yard weeks ago, but caused a neighborhood disruption when he climbed into the hole on Dec. 12 and refused to come out. Neighbor Dominic Denny told the Bath Chronicle that "it started at about 4 a.m. ... when there was a lot of shouting and screaming coming from the house opposite me. The young man's family was outside trying to get him back in the house." Emergency responders from a variety of services converged on the scene, even bringing a crane to lower into the hole to retrieve the man. A spokesperson for Avon and Somerset police later reported that the incident was resolved and "the man got out of the hole of his own accord." [Bath Chronicle, 12/12/2017]

Special Delivery!

An employee at a TCBY yogurt shop in Matthews, North Carolina, got a surprise while opening three packages delivered to the store -- filled with $220,000 worth of marijuana. Upon further investigation, the store told WSOC-TV, the packages had been delivered mistakenly and were meant for a P.O. Box at the postal store next door. While the origin of the packages is still unknown, the drugs and the recipient's information have been turned over to police, who report that no arrests have been made. [WSOC, 12/14/2017]

Questionable Judgment

The Mirror reports that a flight attendant with Urumqi Air in China has been suspended after a co-worker captured her on video eating from in-flight meals meant for passengers. In the video, a line of open meals is on a shelf in front of the female attendant, who samples from at least two of them with a spoon. The airline said in a statement that the meals were leftovers not handed out to passengers, and it was launching a full investigation. [The Mirror, 12/9/2017]

Least Competent Criminals

Israel Perez Rangel, 38, of Santa Ana, California, raised suspicions begging for money at a service station to put gas in the 2015 Ferrari 458 Spider he was driving on Nov. 1. The $300,000 car was in rough shape, according to the Los Angeles Times, with cracked fins, emblems torn from the body and vomit caked on the side. When Santa Ana police arrived, Rangel ran away, but he was caught nearby hiding in bushes. Car owner Susan Friedman of Laguna Beach had left the Ferrari at a Costa Mesa service center in October, where it was stolen, and surveillance video confirmed it was Rangel who nicked the hot rod. Luckily for Friedman, her insurance company cut her a check and she replaced the Ferrari with a 2018 Lamborghini Huracan. "I love it," she said. [Los Angeles Times, 11/28/2017]

Wait, What?

Visitors to South Korea for the Winter Olympics may want to make a side trip to Haesindang Park near the coastal town of Sinnam. The park, also known as Penis Park, opened to the public in 2007 and was dedicated to the memory of a virgin bride-to-be left behind by her fisherman fiance. Locals told the Mirror that after being abandoned, the bride was swept out to sea and drowned, causing fish to leave the area. Now her spirit can only be soothed by the sight of male genitalia. The park features nearly 300 erect phallus statues, and about 12,000 visitors take in the titillating sights each year, most of them women. [The Mirror, 11/20/2017]

A Tesla showroom in South Salt Lake, Utah, was the nexus of four different arrests on Nov. 24, according to the Salt Lake Tribune, in which at least two of the suspects claimed to be part of the Tesla "family." (The car company is named after inventor Nikola Tesla, not a family owner.) In the first arrest, a Tesla pulled up behind a Utah Highway Patrol car at a stoplight, and the officer noticed that Driver No. 1 was acting "suspicious." When the officer pulled him over, the 24-year-old driver said a man he hardly knew gave him the car and keys to three other Teslas. When the officer and driver returned to the showroom, it had been burglarized, but Driver No. 1 explained that the burglary had occurred before he got to the dealership, so he felt he was allowed to take the vehicle and keys. Area officers were alerted, and 31-year-old Driver No. 2 led troopers on a short chase, until his Tesla's battery died. Later, Driver No. 3, 19, was pulled over in West Valley, and finally Driver No. 4, a 27-year-old woman, was stopped at a liquor store and told police a man named Tesla had given her the car. "We are still trying to sort this out," said South Salt Lake Police spokesman Gary Keller. "We actually have two people claiming their name is Tesla and a family member died and left them these cars. It's one of those cases where you just have to scratch your head and say, 'Really?'" [Salt Lake Tribune, 11/24/2017]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

-- Arielle Bonnici, 26, of Huntington, New York, responsibly arrived at the Northport Police Department and Village Justice Court on Dec. 4 to answer a summons issued in May for possession of marijuana. But before she could even park her car, Bonnici, who was on her phone, attracted the attention of officers by cutting off an unmarked police vehicle and wheeling into the spot reserved for the chief of police. The Long-Islander News reported that when officers approached the car and Bonnici rolled down her window, a cloud of marijuana smoke poured out, and she was promptly arrested for possession again, along with getting a ticket for using her cellphone while driving. She was able to kill two buds, er, birds, with one stone and appear before the court for both charges. [Long-Islander News, 12/6/2017]

-- Meanwhile, in Newberry, South Carolina, 31-year-old Franklin Dell Hayes of Midlands appeared on Dec. 6 at his trial for his third charge of possession of methamphetamines. As the first day of the trial came to a close, The State reports, Hayes was ordered into custody, but when Newberry County sheriff's deputies searched him before locking him up, they found ... 4 grams of meth in his pants pocket. Without knowledge of the new meth discovery, the jury sentenced Hayes to nine years in prison. [The State, 12/7/2017]

Questionable Judgment

Popeye's preferred diet of spinach to pump up his biceps had to be healthier than what a Russian man has been injecting. Kirill Tereshin, 21, from Pyatigorsk in southwestern Russia, concocts a dangerous muscle-enhancing solution of olive oil, lidocaine and benzyl alcohol and injects it into his arm muscles, resulting in "bazooka" arms that doctors say may become paralyzed or even have to be amputated. Tereshin has so far used 6 liters of the fluid, and his biceps measure 23 inches, but he plans to continue injecting until they reach 27 inches. "I would like to get more than 1 million subscribers on Instagram and to stop working," Tereshin told the Daily Mail. He's considering an offer to become a porn star. "I love to be recognizable." [Daily Mail, 12/8/2017]

What Could Go Wrong?

It was all fun and games until a drunk, naked man and his (also naked) companion crashed into a tree near La Grande, Washington, on Nov. 22. Washington State Patrol spokeswoman Brooke Bova told The Olympian that the couple were engaging in intercourse when the driver missed a curve and left the highway. The woman was hospitalized with broken bones, but her 3-month-old child was unhurt in the backseat. The driver, who has three prior DUI convictions, was charged with felony driving under the influence, vehicular assault and endangering a child. [The Olympian, 11/24/2017]

Awesome!

Male residents of Ringaskiddy in Ireland have at least one compelling reason to set down roots there: According to local lore, the nearby Pfizer plant, where Viagra is produced, emits "love fumes" that give men free erections. "One whiff and you're stiff," bartender Debbie O'Grady told The Times of London. Pfizer, however, disputes the tales, with a spokesperson saying: "Our manufacturing processes have always been highly sophisticated as well as highly regulated." Still, locals speak of a baby boom after the plant opened in 1998, and men apparently regularly gather near the facility to inhale the fumes. [Newsweek, 12/6/2017]

Animal Antics

Dovey the Shar Pei, of Edmond, Oklahoma, might be just a bit jealous of the new baby at his owners' home. But in a classic passive-aggressive move, he settled on stealing pacifiers. Scott Rogers and his wife noticed that binkies were disappearing, but it wasn't until Dovey started vomiting and losing weight in early December that they tracked down the lost items. KFOR-TV reports that Dr. Chris Rispoli of Gentle Care Animal Hospital took an X-ray of Dovey's stomach and saw what he thought were seven to nine pacifiers. But when Rispoli opened up Dovey to remove them, he found 21 binkies. Turns out, Dovey was taking the pacifiers off the kitchen counter. "We've had corn cobs and socks and panties and things like that, but never 21 binkies," noted Rispoli. [KFOR-TV, 12/8/2017]

The Voices in Our Heads

In Parkland, Washington, state troopers and Pierce County Sheriffs officers responded to a call on Nov. 25 about a man who had stopped his SUV in the middle of an intersection and was waving around an AK-47 and screaming about "lizard people." The 54-year-old Eatonville man obeyed when officers ordered him to lie on the ground, but resisted being handcuffed until officers tased him. He told them he had "snorted methamphetamine to lose weight" and that President Donald Trump had called his home to warn him that the lizard people were coming and his family members were already being held hostage by the "alpha dragon," according to The News Tribune. "The lizard people are real," he told police, explaining that he wanted to attract attention so that his "story could be documented for history." [The News Tribune, 12/1/2017]

Yikes!

Claudell Curry, 82, and his wife, Odell Marie, 83, heard a loud crashing noise as they watched TV in their San Bernardino, California, home on the evening of Dec. 10. Imagine their surprise when it was NOT Santa Claus, but instead a block of ice the size of a car engine, which had torn through their roof and landed on their bed. Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Ian Gregor said about a similar incident in November that the ice might have dropped off a passenger airliner, having formed after a leak in the galley. Neither of the Currys was hurt, but "We shiver every time we think we could have been in bed," Claudell told The San Bernardino Sun. [The San Bernardino Sun, 12/11/2017]