Car buyer Da Tong Yang of Richmond, British Columbia, became so frustrated with his local Mercedes-Benz dealership that in January he flew to the company's headquarters in Stuttgart, Germany, to seek help. Yang bought his wife, Guifang Huo, a brand-new S550 in 2017, partially because he believed the $155,000 car to be one of the safest vehicles available, but a year later, the couple claimed, the steering wheel locked, causing the car to nearly crash into a concrete wall. Mercedes-Benz said an "internal electrical issue" was at fault and assured the couple it was fixed. Yang wasn't convinced, demanded his money back or a replacement car, then sued the company when it declined. The case has languished in court, prompting Yang's trip to Stuttgart in early June "to find justice, not only for him but also for other drivers," he told the Richmond News. Despite his personal appearance, litigation is still underway. [Richmond News, 6/8/2020]

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

An unnamed 66-year-old woman in Ewing, New Jersey, gave $1 to a man begging in a drugstore parking lot on June 18 and became the victim of a carjacking, according to the Associated Press. Ewing police said Tomasz Dymek, 31, of Queens, New York, "was not satisfied with the dollar, so he forced his way into the victim's vehicle and drove from the lot, sitting on top of her in the driver's seat." Witnesses alerted police, who followed Dymek into Fairless Hills, Pennsylvania, where the car broke down and officers arrested him. [Associated Press, 6/19/2020]

Bright Idea

Bradley Bell, head writer for "The Bold and the Beautiful," told the New York Post the show is experimenting with using blowup dolls in love scenes as the daytime soap, in hiatus since March, resumed taping on June 17. Challenged to adhere to COVID-19 protocols, Bell said, "We put our heads together trying to figure out a way to make these scenes work without breaking the 8-foot (distancing) rule ... and we brought out a doll we used years ago as a corpse." The result, he said, "was very convincing ... We'll be using her with hair and makeup as a stand-in to match some of our leading ladies." The show has also recruited some of the actors' spouses as body doubles. "We've had stunt doubles before," Bell said, "but this is the first time we've had kissing doubles." [New York Post, 6/17/2020]

Least Competent, Most Ambitious Criminals

-- Donnovan Russell Jester, 28, of Largo, Florida, was arrested on June 18 for grand theft of a vessel -- a $900,000, 46-foot-long yacht. The Tampa Bay Times reported the theft took place March 20 at Thunder Marine, where Pinellas County deputies said the 2019 Jeanneau Leader was stolen and driven into four channel-marker pilings, doing about $60,000 worth of damage, before being abandoned to drift in an oyster bed. Investigators found Jester's thumbprint on a cabin door; he was held at the Pinellas County jail on $50,000. [Tampa Bay Times, 6/23/2020]

-- At 1:28 a.m. on June 20, airport air traffic control in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, contacted police about a distress call coming from an aircraft. Officers already at the airport trying to locate a car they believed had been stolen from Daytona Beach found Robert Stienstra, 22, of DeBary, Florida, sitting in the airplane on the airport apron, according to an arrest report. Stienstra asked an officer whether he knew how to fly a plane, the report stated, then explained that he had recently purchased the aircraft (valued at $1 million) for $20,000 and needed to fly to California to take marijuana and meet his girlfriend. The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported that along with a bag of weed, Stienstra had in his possession a glass pipe with remnants of methamphetamine and other drug paraphernalia. New Smyrna Beach police charged Stienstra with grand theft over $100,000; he was also wanted by Daytona Beach police on charges of grand theft of a motor vehicle. [Daytona Beach News-Journal, 6/22/2020]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

After falling asleep following a 10-bottle beer-drinking binge, and failing to heed nature's call for 18 hours, a 40-year-old Chinese man identified as Mr. Hu was diagnosed with a burst bladder, the New York Post reported on June 23. The man appeared at Zhuji People's Hospital in Zhejiang, China, complaining of searing abdominal pain, and doctors discovered three tears in his bladder, one of which had caused his intestines to spill into the bladder. Mr. Hu underwent emergency surgery and was able to recover. Zhuji officials said while bladder rupture is rare, they see at least one such patient every year. [New York Post, 6/23/2020]

The Litigious Society

The Tampa Bay Times reports that Kris Hedstrom of Odessa, Florida, filed suit against her neighbor, Heather Dayner, in late May, demanding a paternity test for the five goats she purchased from Dayner or a full refund. Hedstrom bought the five Nigerian Dwarf goats -- Bella, Gigi, Rosie, Zelda and Margoat -- in December, paying $900, and expected to register them with the American Dairy Goat Association, according to the lawsuit. Registered goats have higher value than nonregistered goats. But the ADGA denied Hedstrom's application because Dayner is not a member of the organization, and Dayner now accuses Hedstrom of trespassing on her farm and harassing her with calls to the police. "She's been a nightmare of a neighbor," Dayner said. Dayner plans to represent herself in court in July. [Tampa Bay Times, 6/23/2020]

Ironic

Researchers at Flinders University in Adelaide, Australia, have made an unexpected discovery in their study of the endangered night parrot, one of only two nocturnal parrot species in the world: It has poor night vision. The night parrot lives in Australia's outback and differs from the other nocturnal parrot, New Zealand's kakapo, which has lost its ability to fly, ABC reported. "The night parrot still flies, and there lies the problem of the bird running into things," said Dr. Vera Weisbecker, which may be contributing to its decline. [ABC, 6/11/2020]

Creme de la Weird

Koji Ishii, 39, of Tokyo, admits his passion is sometimes more like a “curse”: He is compelled to document every lost glove he sees on the streets of his city. He photographs and records details about each one, whether they’re stuck in drains or washed up on a beach, but never touches or removes them. Over 15 years, he’s curated more than 5,000 stray gloves, including children's mittens, heavy workingman's gloves and lacy ladies' accessories. “I live with the constant fear that there might be a glove right around the corner,” Ishii told AFP. He even gets off buses before his stop if he sees a glove on the ground. For him, the attraction is thinking about how the glove got there and who once wore it. “Lone gloves are a constantly changing, dynamic phenomena,” Ishii said. [AFP via Yahoo News, 6/18/2020]

The Boston Typewriter Orchestra has been performing its unique brand of music throughout New England since 2004 and will now be releasing its first vinyl album later this summer. Self-proclaimed conductor Tim Devin and a group of friends founded the ensemble as a joke, reports Ripley's Believe It or Not, and after premiering at Boston's Art Beat Festival, the idea took off. Using vintage machines to rhythmically clack, roll, spin and bang out "music," the typist-musicians say different models produce different sounds. "A Smith-Corona Galaxy 12 has a power space function that makes a nice metallic clang sound," explained Brendan Emmett Quigley. [Ripley's Believe It or Not, 6/16/2020]

Animal Antics

-- In Oakland, California's Grand Lake neighborhood, Gerald the turkey has been an institution for some time, regularly queueing up with carpool riders near Morcom Rose Garden. But lately, Gerald has grown grumpy and started attacking park visitors, reports KGO, prompting complaints to Oakland Animal Services. "I swear I was getting flashbacks to the velociraptor scenes in 'Jurassic Park' as he was 'cooing' at me, sizing me up," one said. Others said Gerald charged them, clawing and pecking as they tried to run. In response, the city closed the rose garden at the end of May and asked people not to feed Gerald or any other wildlife, as it "may have contributed to the male turkey becoming more aggressive," the parks department said. Animal control officers are also trying to "train him to revert to natural behaviors," but have had limited success keeping him socially distanced from humans. [KGO, 6/12/2020]

-- Kalua, an infamous alcoholic monkey in Kanpur, India, has been sentenced to live out his days in isolation, Gulf News reported. The animal once belonged to a local occultist who would give him alcohol. After the owner died, Kalua couldn't get his fix and became aggressive, sinking his teeth into more than 250 people, one of who died of his wound. The Kanpur zoo took Kalua in, trying to acclimate him to captivity and other monkeys, but zoo workers are throwing in the towel. "It has been three years since he was brought here," said zoo doctor Mohd Nasir. "He will remain in captivity all his life." [Gulf News, 6/16/2020]

Desperate Times

-- In April, following the cancellation of basketball madness, a Twitter account called March Madness of Flags was launched "for the love of vexillology," pitting banners from all over the world against one another in a fearsome bracket to determine which was the "coolest flag." During the final four, held over the weekend of June 13-14, the St. Louis (Missouri) flag beat out Stuttgart's entry, then went on to clinch the championship in a commanding 625-49 victory over the standard from Yaroslavl Oblast, a Russian federal district north of Moscow. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported the city's flag, a relative newcomer, was designed by Yale University art history professor Theodore Sizer and adopted in 1964 for the city's bicentennial. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 6/15/2020]

-- For those missing travel abroad, Songshan Airport in Taipei, Taiwan, is offering 90 people the opportunity to tour the airport and "pretend to go abroad." On July 2, 4 and 7, participants can spend a half-day going through immigration, boarding an airplane, and then getting off the plane and re-entering the country through immigration. "People who didn't have the opportunity to take international flights at Songshan (can) use this chance to experience and learn more about the boarding process and relevant service facilities," Chih-ching Wang, deputy director of the airport, told CNN Travel. Tour customers will also get to take home "exclusive mysterious gifts." [CNN Travel, 6/12/2020]

Awwwwww

Seniors from Glens Falls High School near Tulsa, Oklahoma, pulled a classic prank on what would have been the last day of their high school career: On June 12, they hung a large sign from the school saying, "For Sale! Vacant Since March," along with some of the school's attributes, such as "2 full size gyms" and "swimming pool." But Principal Tammy Silvernell could hardly be mad: Attached to the back of the sign was a letter from students she characterized as "the most polite pranksters ever," according to The Daily Gazette. "This was all in good fun," the letter read. "We hope to have made you laugh and miss us a little more ... thank you all for an amazing four years at GFHS!" The students also offered to remove the sign and included a phone number to call. [Daily Gazette, 6/13/2020]

The Foreign Press

The Associated Press reported that an unnamed man in Vienna, Austria, was hit with a 500 euro ($565) fine for "offending public decency" when he broke wind following an encounter with police on June 5. Authorities said that "of course no one is reported for accidentally 'letting one go,'" but after behaving "provocatively and uncooperatively," the man rose from a bench and "let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent. And our colleagues don't like to be farted at so much." [ABC News, 6/16/2020]

Bad Apples

-- The Gatlinburg SkyBridge in Tennessee was closed on June 15 after a guest at SkyLift Park attempted to execute a baseball-style slide across the glass panels in the middle of the bridge and a piece of metal on the guest's clothing chipped and cracked the top layer of glass. According to WBIR, multiple signs warn against "running, jumping or bouncing" on the SkyBridge, the longest pedestrian suspension bridge in North America. Park spokesman Marcus Watson said the top layer of glass serves only as protection for the other two layers and the cracks didn't affect the span's structural integrity. Workers replaced the layer of glass with cedar planks and the bridge has been reopened. [WBIR, 6/16/2020]

-- The U.S. Forest Service is investigating a photo posted by David Lesh, 35, on Instagram showing him walking on a log across Hanging Lake in Garfield County, Colorado, in defiance of clearly posted rules prohibiting people from entering the water there. The post blew up with criticisms, but Lesh fired back, challenging others to walk on the log and even defecate in the lake. KDVR reported Lesh has a history of run-ins with authorities, including being cited for harassing a moose with his car in 2014 and setting 25 grocery carts on fire in Boulder, Colorado. Earlier this year he was caught snowmobiling in the Keystone ski area when the slopes were shut down because of COVID-19. On June 16 he was ordered to pay $500 and do 50 hours of community service for another snowmobiling incident from 2019. [KDVR, 6/16/2020]

The Way the World Works

Saying that "extra precautions are justifiable and understandable where the president is concerned," Russian spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters that anyone meeting President Vladimir Putin at his house outside Moscow or in the Kremlin must pass through a disinfection tunnel that showers visitors with a "disinfecting aerosol" and a bath of ultraviolet light. The Guardian reported on June 17 the tunnels can also use facial recognition software and take the visitor's temperature. Peskov said, "They were installed when the epidemic was in full swing," but would not say whether Putin has used the tunnels himself. [The Guardian, 6/17/2020]

RIP

The Hollywood Reporter announced on June 16 that puppeteer Pat Brymer, 70, passed away in April. As a puppet builder, Brymer worked with ventriloquist Shari Lewis on "Lamb Chop's Play Along" and with Trey Parker and Matt Stone's "Team America: World Police," but he is best remembered for bringing to life Bill Murray's pesky nemesis gopher in 1980's "Caddyshack." [Hollywood Reporter, 6/16/2020]

The 95-year-old Giant Dipper wooden roller coaster at Belmont Park in Mission Beach, California, is a National Historic Landmark, but it, along with all of the other rides in the park, has been closed to riders since March. To keep it in good repair and ready for reopening, the coaster must run 12 times every day, and park mechanics discussing how reopening would happen hit upon an idea: They loaded the coaster's 24 seats with giant plush animals from the park's midway games prize stash. "People are loving it," Steve Thomas, the park's general manager, told The San Diego Union-Tribune. "We've seen tons of videos and pictures that people have been posting online." Thomas said when the coaster reopens, he may keep the furry riders on board to help with social distancing rules. [San Diego Union-Tribune, 6/2/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

An unnamed 29-year-old man in Berlin, Germany, triggered alarms at a supermarket on June 5 when he tried to leave without paying for $5.65 in merchandise. The Associated Press reported that police had little trouble apprehending the man because, in his hurry escape, he left his 8-year-old son behind. Not only did the burglar's "accessory" help police identify him, but the thief fell down as he was escaping and ended up in the hospital. [Associate Press via Norfolk Daily News, 6/8/2020]

Can't Possibly Be True

The Daily Star reports that a 30-year-old man turned up at Zhaoqing First People's Hospital in Guangdong, China, on June 3 suffering from abdominal pain. Doctors performed a series of scans before discovering a freshwater fish in the man's large intestine, the presence of which he explained by saying he had accidently sat on it. "Do you think I'm an idiot?" one of the doctors replied. The spiny fins of the Mozambique tilapia had caused ruptures in the man's intestine and had to be removed through his abdomen by surgery, but the man survived the ordeal and recovered. [Daily Star, 6/8/2020]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

Canadian Glen Richard Mousseau's adventure with Michigan law enforcement began on May 10, when he was arrested in St. Clair County driving a U-Haul truck and in possession of $97,000. He cooperated with authorities, admitting he was the owner of a submarine seized by the Border Patrol April 23 and he had been using it to ferry drugs between Michigan and Ontario, Canada. Mlive.com reported Mousseau agreed to await the investigation's outcome in a local hotel, but on May 22, federal agents said he had absconded, leaving behind five phones, a laptop and a diving suit. On June 5, Border Patrol officers observed packages thrown into the Detroit River from a vessel entering U.S. waters and found Mousseau unconscious in the water with 265 pounds of marijuana tethered to him with a tow strap. He's being held on charges of smuggling and possession of a controlled substance. [mlive.com, 6/8/2020]

Fail

Several sailors of the Royal Navy found themselves in over their heads on May 30 as their plan for a barbecue and beers got out of hand. A witness told The Sun, "They were smashed and hadn't bothered to watch for the tide." The Daily Star reported that one partier became cut off from the group, and when another went out to rescue him, they both struggled. Emergency services had to be called in, and one of the sailors had to be lifted off a cliff with a winch, the coast guard confirmed. The Royal Navy expressed its regret that emergency services were needed, but they "remain grateful for their help." [Daily Star, 6/8/2020]

Questionable Judgment

Shaun Michaelsen, 41, told police in Jupiter, Florida, he was only trying to be a "cool father" when he let a friend's 12-year-old daughter drive his Jeep on June 8. Officer Craig Yochum saw the Jeep make an illegal U-turn and speed away, the Associated Press reported, so he followed as the vehicle hit speeds of 85 mph in a 45 mph zone. The underage driver told Yochum that Michaelson, who admitted he had been drinking, told her to drive fast. He was arrested and is being held in the Palm Beach County Jail. [Associated Press, 6/9/2020]

Overreaction

Richland County (South Carolina) sheriff's officers are searching for a man and woman who held a Pizza Hut manager at gunpoint on May 29 in Columbia -- because they didn't receive the 2-liter bottle of Pepsi they had ordered for delivery with their pie. The manager told WIS the couple entered the restaurant complaining about the delivery, then came behind the counter and as the man held out a gun, the woman removed a bottle of Pepsi from the cooler. Once the goods were in hand, the man put his gun away, and they left the store. [WIS, 6/10/2020]

Bright Idea

A tech startup called ChampTrax has a novel solution for the problem of professional sports being played in empty stadiums. Jason Rubenstein told Fox4 News in Kansas City, Missouri, that his company's Hear Me Cheer technology allows fans watching at home to enable a microphone on a phone or laptop as they watch a game; the sounds fans make will then be captured and aggregated into a single track for the broadcast. "If you're alone in your home, what's the point of booing if no one can hear you?" Rubenstein asked. ESPN featured Hear Me Cheer on a June 9 boxing broadcast and during the NFL draft in April, and the company says it is in talks with other networks and sports leagues. [Fox4 News, 6/10/2020]

Oops

Seniors at Ashley Ridge High School in Dorchester County, South Carolina, were excited about attending their in-person graduation ceremony on June 10. Administrators planned limited proceedings on the field at Swamp Fox Stadium, where students and spectators could spread out in keeping with COVID-19 restrictions. But as Principal Karen Radcliffe began to introduce the valedictorian and salutatorian, the field's sprinklers switched on, spraying the field and sending people scrambling. "Everyone started running to the sides to try and avoid getting soaked before getting their diploma!" senior Megan Mowrer told WCBD. [WCBD, 6/10/2020]

Everyone's a Critic

Saxophonist Christian Beck, 50, has been treating his neighbors to two hours of music from his front porch in Sible Hedingham, England, every Saturday during the local coronavirus lockdown. Passersby would stop and listen, residents of Forest Home care facility nearby were particular fans, and money has been raised for charity through donations people have left. But Beck told the Daily Gazette his Saturday concerts will come to an end on June 13 after a letter from the Braintree Council informed him that an official noise complaint has been lodged against him. "Playing the saxophone is like a therapy for me ... and it's upsetting to think that someone complained," Beck told the Daily Gazette. "I didn't want to go against anyone so I'm calling it a day." [Daily Gazette, 6/11/2020]

Police Report

-- Angel Castro, 39, was arrested in Schenectady, New York, on June 9 after police found him and a missing golf course beverage cart at the Kelsey Commons apartment complex. Police spokesman Sgt. Nick Mannix told The Daily Gazette a worker at the Stadium Golf Club had driven the beverage cart up to the clubhouse to restock it with drinks when the suspect jumped inside and took off. Castro was charged with felony grand larceny. [The Daily Gazette, 6/9/2020]

-- Mark Alan Johnson, 67, of Rice Lake, Wisconsin, was sentenced June 3 to five years in state prison following his 15th arrest for drunk driving. Most recently he was arrested in November after steering his pickup into a ditch near his home. At the time, his license had been revoked, and his blood alcohol content was measured at almost twice the legal limit, even though Johnson told police he'd had only two glasses of wine and a can of beer, The Smoking Gun reported. Johnson's attorney, Renee Taber, noted that Johnson is a "likable, down-to-earth, blue-collar man," but his "downfall is that he is an alcoholic." After four years of confinement, he'll be eligible for the state's substance abuse program. [The Smoking Gun, 6/5/2020]