"Appropriate disciplinary action has been taken" in Hazard, Kentucky, after photos surfaced on social media allegedly depicting students giving lap dances to high school staff, USA Today reported. The incidents from Oct. 26 were part of homecoming week; Superintendent Sondra Combs said festivities included a "man pageant," which somehow led to the lap dances by scantily clad students. One of the grateful recipients was the school's principal, Donald "Happy" Mobelini, who is also the mayor of Hazard. "Using this as a teachable moment," Combs said, "we will provide social media training for our students and staff." But, she emphasized, the district "has a tradition of excellence and academics and everything we do" -- apparently including suggestive bumping and grinding. [USA Today, 10/28/2021]

Government in Action

About 100 hippopotami that are descendants of hippos once owned by late drug lord Pablo Escobar have been recognized by the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Ohio as legal persons, United Press International reported. The hippos live in Colombia, but nonhuman animals are allowed to go to a federal court in the U.S. to obtain testimony in defense of their interests. Colombian attorney Luis Domingo Gomez Maldondo filed a lawsuit on the animals' behalf to save them from being euthanized, arguing that sterilization would be a better option. [United Press International, 10/22/2021]

Most Competent Criminal

A clever burglar in Coronado, California, devised a simple way to enter a home there on Oct. 21, the Associated Press reported. The 43-year-old woman just called a locksmith and asked him to change the locks on "her" home, then went inside, settled in, and turned on the music and fireplace. But a neighbor noticed the activity and contacted the out-of-town homeowner, who alerted the police. When officers arrived, the spare key provided by the neighbor didn't fit the locks, and police saw metal shavings and parts of a discarded lock near the front door. Police went around back, called out to the person inside and arrested her as she emerged on suspicion of burglary. [Associated Press, 10/22/2021]

Unclear on the Concept

A hiker in Colorado who was on a trail to Mount Elbert got lost on Oct. 18, wandering in the woods until the next morning around 9:30 a.m. Lake County Search and Rescue began looking for the unidentified person that evening and continued through the night, Fox News reported, making repeated calls to the hiker's cellphone, which went unanswered. The hiker, who didn't realize a search party was looking for them, told officials that they ignored the calls because they didn't recognize the phone number. LCSAR recommended to hikers: "If you're overdue according to your itinerary and you start getting repeated calls from an unknown number, please answer the phone." [Fox News, 10/26/2021]

Creepy

Residents of Ipswich, England, have spent more than four years being troubled by a haunting rendition of the nursery rhyme, "It's raining, it's pouring ..." sung by a young child during the night. "It was waking me up in the night. It was absolutely terrifying," one woman said, according to the Mirror. "Last week it played for hours. It was just horrible." Finally, in September, the borough council's rapid response team tracked down the source of the chilling singing: It was a motion alarm in an industrial park. "The sound is only supposed to act as a deterrent for opportunistic thieves that come onto our property," a spokesperson for the park said. "The motion sensors were being triggered by spiders crawling across the lenses of our cameras, and it looks like we've had it turned up too loudly." The volume has been lowered, and Ipswich residents can sleep at night. [Mirror, 10/27/2021]

It's an Education

Elementary students at Wilton Manors school in Florida were treated to a field trip on Oct. 27, walking over to Rosie's Bar and Grill accompanied by Broward County School Board member Sarah Leonardi, who posted about the outing on her official Facebook page. Fox News reported that the post ignited outrage among members of the community, who, beyond their incredulity that a bar and grill was a "field trip" destination, were upset that Rosie's is an LGBT bar, with items on the menu such as Rhoda Cowboy and Big Girl Burgers. Leonardi and the school district did not comment on the school trip. [Fox News, 10/28/2021]

The Way the World Works

Well, it's happened: the first-ever doping scandal to rock the world of professional Venetian gondoliers. Renato Busetto has been stripped of his second-place award in September's Historical Regatta and has been banned from competing for more than a year, the Daily Mail reported. He tested positive for marijuana after the event on Sept. 4, and on Oct. 27, Venice's Technical Disciplinary Commission laid out his punishment. [Daily Mail, 10/27/2021]

Harsh

An unnamed Thai woman, 34, who lives in a high-rise condominium building in Bangkok was apparently very unhappy that she wasn't informed that two painters, using ropes, would be working on the outside of the building on Oct. 12. So she cut their support rope, the Associated Press reported. One of the painters, a man named Song, said he and his co-worker had lowered themselves from the 32nd floor to repair cracks. When he reached the 30th floor, he felt something on the rope and looked down to see someone on the 21st floor lean out of the window and cut his rope. A third colleague supported them from the top floor as they tried to summon help from people in other apartments. A couple on the 26th floor finally let them in. The suspect confessed to cutting the rope and said she had no intention of killing the workers, but she faces attempted murder and property destruction charges. [Associated Press, 10/28/2021]

Irony

With Halloween coming up, Clark County (Nevada) law enforcement agencies came together to promote pedestrian safety on Oct. 26. The "crosswalk fairy," a police officer in costume, even escorted people across busy Boulder Highway, KVVU-TV reported. But as officers demonstrated proper crosswalk techniques, pedestrian Tammy Wotton tried to cross the street where the event was being held -- and was almost struck by a semi-truck. Nevada law stipulates that vehicles must yield to pedestrians. Officers pulled over the truck driver, along with several other offending motorists. [KVVU, 10/26/2021]

Parenting Fail

On Oct. 23, police in Gillette, Wyoming, were called to a home about a fight between a man and woman. When they arrived, the man had already left in his pickup truck, the Gillette News Record reported. He was pulled over and emerged from the truck with his two sons, 15 and 4. Sheriff's Lt. Paul Pownall said that the 39-year-old admitted he'd been drinking but said his 4-year-old had been sitting on his lap and doing the actual driving. The suspect, who was already on unsupervised probation, was charged with his second DUI. [Gillette News Record, 10/25/2021]

Happy Halloween!

Singer-songwriter Brocarde, 38, has revealed that she is in love with a Victorian ghost, Edwardo, who died at age 35 when he fell down a well, the Daily Star reported. Edwardo first came to her on a night when she was having difficulty sleeping, making the whole room cold and then introducing himself to her and whispering "I love you" in her ear. He proves himself by blowing out candles and leaving steam hearts on the shower walls, she said. But Brocarde is also afraid of Edwardo: "My biggest fear is that he'll expect too much from me and kill me so I'm a spirit too," she said. After Brocarde revealed her ghostly paramour on ITV's "This Morning," she said Edwardo "ghosted" her: "Edwardo seems furious with me since I've gone public with our romance," she said. She hopes to lure him back on Halloween with scattered rose petals and candles. "I may even cook him some typical Victorian dishes to win him back." [Daily Star, 10/28/2021]

The city council of Christchurch, New Zealand, has officially ended its contract with The Wizard of New Zealand (also known as Ian Brackenbury Channell) after 23 years of service. Over his tenure, the Wizard cast spells and entertained tourists to the tune of $16,000 per year, but the city no longer believes his services are necessary, Oddee.com reported. Officially, Christchurch's "promotional landscape is changing," said the council's assistant chief executive Lynn McClelland, with "programs that will ... showcase a vibrant, diverse, modern city." For his part, the Wizard called the council "a bunch of bureaucrats who have no imagination. I am the original image of Christchurch. They will have to kill me to stop me." [Oddee.com, 10/18/2021]

Awesome!

ABC News reported on Oct. 20 that in Wellington, New Zealand, police went above and beyond for a certain emergency call. When a dispatcher answered the call, a little voice started out, "Hi. Police lady?" The 4-year-old then went on to say, "I've got some toys for you. Come over and see them." Around then, an adult took the phone, confirming that it was not an emergency, but the dispatcher sent Constable Kurt over anyway. The little boy showed off his toys to the officer and had a "good, educational chat" about the use of the emergency number (111 in New Zealand). "He did have cool toys," Constable Kurt confirmed. He reciprocated by turning on his patrol car's lights for the boy. [ABC News, 10/20/2021]

Oops!

During an Oct. 17 weather segment on KREM-TV in Spokane, Washington, viewers were stunned to see a 13-second clip of a woman's bare behind on a display behind the meteorologist, Yahoo! News reported. Viewers began calling the Spokane police department, which is now working with the station to find out how the video made it to the broadcast. KREM-TV could face fines from the Federal Communications Commission for airing the shocking scene. [Yahoo! News, 10/20/2021]

Picky, Picky

Vojin Kusic, 72, of Srbac, Bosnia-Herzegovina, built a home for himself and his family many years ago. His wife, Ljubica, wanted the bedrooms to face the sun at the time, so the living room faced away from the road. In time, Ljubica became distressed that she couldn't see visitors approaching the house, so Vojin remodeled it. Now, with their children grown, Vojin has constructed the home of Ljubica's dreams: It rotates a full 360 degrees so she can turn it as she sees fit, the Associated Press reported. "Now, our front door also rotates, so if she spots unwanted guests heading our way, she can spin the house and make them turn away," Vojin said. [Associated Press, 10/10/2021]

Great Art

Roughly 300 men and women volunteers gathered on Oct. 17 in the desert near the Israeli city of Arad, where they took off all their clothes and painted their bodies white for a project by photographer Spencer Tunick, the Associated Press reported. For about three hours, they posed and repositioned themselves for Tunick as he shot photos to draw attention to the shrinking Dead Sea. "I am always happy to return here and photograph in the only country in the Middle East that allows art such as this," Tunick said. Organizers hope the project will bring attention to preserving the Dead Sea, and Israeli tourist officials hope it will bring visitors to the country. [Associated Press, 10/19/2021]

New World Order

David and Paula Knight of Surrey, England, were confused when they opened a letter informing them of a traffic violation and fine that took place in June in Bath. The letter, which detailed a bus lane violation and included a photo of the offender, was generated by a traffic camera that captured a woman walking in a bus lane, wearing a shirt that said KNITTER. The Knights' vehicle tag reads KNI9 TER, a reference to David's nickname, Knighter. "We thought one of our friends was stitching us up," Paula told the BBC, but they finally contacted authorities to straighten out the incident. She said the staff member who looked at the photo "burst out laughing." The fine was canceled, everyone involved got a giggle out of it, and the next time the Knights go to Bath, they may take the train. [BBC, 10/19/2021]

False Alarm

Fire officials in Santa Barbara County, California, received calls on Oct. 4 about a person hanging on the side of a cliff near Hope Ranch Beach, NBC New York reported. Emergency crews were dispatched with equipment including a drone and fire engines, but the "person" was just a mannequin with long hair. Apparently, the mannequin had been used in a movie shoot a few days earlier, Daniel Bertucelli of Santa Barbara County said, reminding residents, "Better to call than not!" [NBC New York, 10/7/2021]

Compelling Explanation

Folks in Plouneventer, France, were perplexed on Oct. 11 when they woke up to find a van perched atop a bus stop shelter, Oddity Central reported. Police were summoned, the van was removed and the owner identified -- but the mystery remained, with theories involving alcohol and performance art. Finally, three days later, the truth came out: The prank was part of a "commercial dispute" between the van's owner and the perpetrator, who used a pallet truck to hoist the car onto the bus shelter. The latter may face charges of endangerment. [Oddity Central, 10/15/2021]

Mistaken Identity

At a ceremony on Oct. 16 to award the annual Planeta literary prize in Spain, fans of author Carmen Mola were stunned to learn that the author is actually three male writers: Agustin Martinez, Jorge Diaz and Antonio Mercero, who were on hand to accept the award. Mola's unpublished novel "The Beast" won 1 million euros with the prize. Mola had been described as a female university professor living in Madrid who uses a pseudonym, People.com reported, but after the reveal, Diaz said, "We are three friends who one day four years ago decided to combine our talent to tell a story." Some have called the trio "scammers," but Mercero argued, "We didn't hide behind a woman, we hid behind a name." [People.com, 10/18/2021]

Anger Management, Halloween Edition

A Pittsburgh grandmother was assaulted with a pumpkin on Oct. 20 after she parked in front of James Gazis' home, WPXI-TV reported. The victim was picking up her grandson from a nearby home and parked in front of the Gazis property, where Gazis' wife and children started yelling at her before James hurled the gourd at the car. When she lowered her window to say "'You've got to be kidding me,' ... he took the second pumpkin, threw it (and) hit her in the face," the victim's son, James Moore, said. Moore and Gazis, 40, tussled; Gazis was charged with aggravated assault, and Moore is facing a simple assault charge. [WPXI, 10/22/2021]

Forget a "rude" awakening -- this one verges closer to "terrifying." Ruth Hamilton of Golden, British Columbia, told CBC News that she woke up on Oct. 4 to her dog barking. "The next thing was just a huge explosion and debris all over my face," she said. After realizing something had punched a hole in her ceiling, she called 911. While answering the operator's questions, she moved a bed pillow and discovered a "melon-sized space rock" that must have landed inches from her head while she slept. Peter Brown, a physics and astronomy professor at Western University in London, Ontario, confirmed the rock was "certainly a meteorite," but will require further study to determine its exact origins. [CBC News, 10/12/2021]

Out on a Limb

A police standoff that began on Oct. 6 finally came to an end more than 48 hours later, as a man wanted in connection with an assault case climbed down from the tree he had taken refuge in. When police arrived at the Queens, New York, home of Roody Thomas, 44, in response to a call about a domestic dispute during which Thomas threatened his mother, Thomas climbed out of a second-story window and onto his roof. He then leapt from the roof into a 30-foot spruce tree, where he spent two uncomfortable nights. According to Fox 5 NY, a negotiator was ultimately able to talk Thomas into leaving his perch. Thomas, who had a warrant out for his arrest for allegedly punching his girlfriend on Sept. 30, surrendered to police and was sent to a hospital for evaluation. [Fox 5 NY, 10/8/2021]

Sprinklegate

Don't mess with a man's sprinkles. The owner of a U.K. bakery went viral for ranting about regulations that are cutting into his bread and butter -- or rather his cake and frosting. Rich Myers, 32, of Leeds, can no longer sell his most popular items because they featured "illegal sprinkles" imported from the United States. The sprinkles contained an additive called E127, which has been linked to "hyperactivity disorders and tumors in rats," reports the Mirror. An anonymous customer tipped off West Yorkshire Trading Standards, the local regulatory agency, about the infraction. Myers swears he won't switch to the approved sprinkles from his home country, claiming they don't hold their colors during the baking process. "If I can't use (the imported sprinkles), I won't use any," he said. "I will be on sprinkle strike and won't budge for no man." The contraband goodies aren't exactly hard to come by, he added: "We buy them from a shop in London, so it's not like we're getting them from a cocaine haulage in Mexico." [The Mirror, 10/13/2021]

Where's Wally

An Arctic walrus who found fame this summer after touring the coasts of Spain, France and the U.K. was feared dead after he disappeared from West Cork, Ireland, in late August. But fans of Wally the walrus can breathe easy: The Independent reports that the intrepid wanderer was recently spotted off the coast of Iceland. Wally became famous for launching himself onto the decks of (empty, docked) boats, sinking several, as he stopped in various European harbors to rest during his travels. Wildlife organizations even created special pontoon "couches" for him to nap on. Wally appears to be in good health and is expected to make his way to the Arctic to begin his search for a mate once he's rested and built up some blubber for the trek. [The Independent, 10/1/2021]

Pain in the Neck

For the last two years, Colorado Parks and Wildlife officials have been witness to a bizarre wildlife sighting: a bull elk roaming the wilderness with a tire around its neck. CNN reported that CPW officials had been monitoring the elk since it was first spotted in July 2019, and though the tire did not impede the animal from drinking or feeding, they grew concerned that the tire might get tangled in branches, fencing or the antlers of another elk. CPW officers received a community tip on the elk's whereabouts on Oct. 9 and were finally able to tranquilize it and remove the tire -- which had 10 pounds of debris inside it -- after removing the elk's antlers. "We would have preferred to cut the tire and leave the antlers for his rutting activity, but the situation was dynamic and we had to just get the tire off in any way possible," CPW officer Scott Murdoch said. The elk is expected to make a full recovery. [CNN, 10/12/2021]

One Person's Junk ...

-- Go take a closer look at your garden gnomes: A Sudbury, England, couple was unknowingly using artifacts from ancient Egypt to decorate their garden. The pair of small sphinx statues went up for auction as the couple cleared out their home before a move. The couple had bought them at another auction 15 years prior, thinking they were 18th-century replicas, and expected to get a few hundred dollars for them. But when prospective buyers suggested the items could be actual Egyptian relics, bidding took off. An international art gallery ended up paying $265,510 for the sphinx statues. Auctioneer James Mander said the gallery owners determined the items are indeed authentic, although more study is needed to determine their exact age and provenance. "I wonder where they've been for the last 5,000 years," Mander said. [UPI, 10/13/2021]

-- Careful which old plate you're using to microwave your hot dogs, kids. A dish found in the drawer of a Scottish country house fetched a staggering $1.7 million in an online auction held on Oct. 6, The Scotsman reported. A ceramics specialist working for auctioneers Lyon & Turnbull discovered the dish, which features a painting of Samson and Delilah by Nicola di Gabriele Sbraghe -- aka Nicola da Urbino, a 16th-century master of maiolica pottery. "As the auctioneer, it was a real joy to bring the hammer down at over 1 million pounds on this incredibly rare dish," said Lyon & Turnbull Managing Director Gavin Strang. [The Scotsman, 10/6/2021]

Not Missing the Bus

Bus driver shortages have caused problems across the United States as students have returned to in-person learning, but when Ohio dad Sean Rogers Jr. saw his kids and their friends lacking transportation to school, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He borrowed a limousine from his father's limo company, and is using the stretch ride to take kids to school in style. "I'm going to continue to do what I can do to help these families get their kids to school," Rogers Jr. told Fox News. "If it gets to the point where, you know, the limo is not enough, then I would definitely pull a charter bus out and we'll go from there." [Fox News, 10/13/2021]

Meanwhile in Florida

When hopeless romantic Matthew Huber, 43, was questioned by police on Oct. 12 after witnesses reported him breaking into a Nissan truck outside a Walmart in Vero Beach, Florida, he wanted them to know it was a labor of love. According to the police report, Huber claimed that he attempted to get into the vehicle "to see his imaginary girlfriend Emma," whom he only sees when he is "tripping on meth." The Smoking Gun reported that Huber was arrested for burglary and carrying a concealed weapon during the commission of a criminal offense. Emma could not be reached for comment. [The Smoking Gun, 10/14/2021]

Mission Impawsable

Some pet owners are willing to go to extremes for their fur babies; some take "extremes" to extremes. Tony Wittman, 45, of Australia, was convicted on Oct. 11 on charges stemming from a Jan. 11 incident in which the former soldier donned full combat gear (complete with fake assault rifle) and stormed the Lost Dogs' Home in Melbourne. Wittman tied up a female employee and questioned her about the whereabouts of his cat, then left without retrieving the animal and was arrested the next day. Fox News reported that Wittman told the police he has suffered from PTSD since his time in the military and "felt like he needed to get the cat back and acted without thinking about the consequences." [Fox News, 10/14/2021]

Recalculating ...

The robot apocalypse may be getting closer every day, but if self-driving car technology is any indicator, it's probably still a ways off. Case in point: A dead-end street in San Francisco has seen a swell in traffic recently, but the humans inside the cars are not to blame -- the A.I. is. Those who live in the area of 15th Avenue in the Richmond district have been baffled by the Waymo self-driving cars that seem to have taken a liking to their street. The cars appear throughout the day and night; they enter and drive to the end of the street, the drivers inside take over and make a multipoint turn, then the cars go back the way they came. Resident Jennifer King told KPIX 5 that "there are some days where it can be up to 50. It's literally every five minutes." Waymo representatives told KPIX 5 they are looking into the situation. [KPIX5, 10/14/2021]