Can we all agree that any alligator walking anywhere in Florida -- on a golf course, down a street, through a parking lot, wherever -- is no longer news, let alone weird news? This moseying gator, for instance, is NOT weird: In Venice, Florida, a large alligator walked through a neighborhood on Easter morning on its way to Harrington Lake, United Press International took the time to report, for whatever reason. The Sarasota County Sheriff's Office took a video -- slow crime day. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission was notified, but did not respond BECAUSE THIS IS NOT NEWS. [UPI, 4/18/2022]

Anti-Social Media

The Federal Aviation Administration has revoked Trevor Jacob's pilot's license, The New York Times reported on April 20, after concluding that Jacob purposely abandoned a plane he was flying and filmed it crashing into the Los Padres National Forest in California while he parachuted to the ground. Jacob then posted the 13-minute video on YouTube, calling it "I Crashed My Plane." The FAA said Jacob acted in a "careless or reckless manner so as to endanger the life or property of another." In the video, the propeller can be seen as it stops spinning, and Jacob opens the door and jumps out with a parachute and a selfie stick. The FAA noted, "During this flight, you opened the left side pilot door before you claimed the engine had failed." The agency also noted that Jacob did not contact air traffic control, try to restart the engine or look for a safe place to make an emergency landing. But he got 1.7 million views! [New York Times, 4/20/2022]

Bright Idea

Guests at a February wedding reception in Florida reported feeling "ill and high," "having crazy thoughts" and having "no control over [their] mind and body" after consuming pasta, salad and an olive oil and herb dip, The Smoking Gun reported. And it's no wonder: The bride, Danya Svoboda, 42, and caterer Joycelyn Bryant, 31, were charged on April 18 with allegedly adding marijuana to the food served to wedding guests, several of whom ended up at the hospital. One victim told the best man that he "felt like he'd been drugged," but the best man was "incoherent" himself. The groom's aunt, 69, reported that she became paranoid and "loud and unruly" in the ER. One catering staffer thought the guests were aware that THC was in the food; Miranda Cady, 38, a (former?) friend of the bride, said Svoboda behaved as if guests should be happy about the addition to the food. Cady was terrified and sent herself a text so if she died, "someone would know what happened." Svoboda and Bryant are scheduled for arraignment in June. [The Smoking Gun, 4/20/2022]

Remember to Backup Your Phone

A woman in her 40s on a visit to Olympic National Forest probably won't want to go back anytime soon after a harrowing experience at the top of Mount Walker on April 19, The Olympian reported. The anonymous woman dropped her cellphone into a vault toilet (a waterless, nonflush toilet typically found at campgrounds and near hiking trails) and attempted to fish it out using her dog leash. Instead, she fell headfirst into the abyss; she tried to escape on her own but ended up calling 911 with her recovered phone. Fire crews from Brinnon, Washington, fashioned a platform she could stand on, and they pulled her out and washed her off. First responders, who said she was lucky not to have been overcome by toxic gases, encouraged her to seek medical attention because of her exposure to human waste. [The Olympian, 4/21/2022]

Government in Action

Citizens in Cornwall, England, are fuming after the St. Blaise Town Council ordered that 1,000 daffodils in the Old Roselyon Play Area be cut down because they can be poisonous if eaten and could give children diarrhea, Metro News reported. But a spokesman for the Roselyon Play Park Committee called the move "preposterous" and "totally bonkers." He went on to explain that the land was once an orchard and was home to so many of the flowers that a part of it was called Daffodil Walk. Residents took to social media to protest the directive: "When I was in primary school, every year we were given a daffodil bulb to grow ... Funny, I don't remember trying to eat them or anyone being poisoned." Another said, "Daffodils are also poisonous to dogs, (but) even my mutt has the common sense not to eat them." [Metro News, 4/5/2022]

Take a Deep Breath

Tom Jozsi, a 60-year-old maintenance worker in Kenosha, Wisconsin, was in the dentist's chair when his visit turned anything but routine, WISN-TV reported on April 18. Jozsi was getting a cavity filled when he inhaled an inch-long dental drill bit. "I didn't really even feel it going down," he said, but the bit was deep in his right lung, a CT scan showed. Pulmonary expert Dr. Abdul Alraiyes and his team at the Aurora Medical Center-Kenosha decided to try a catheter that's used for the early detection of cancer, allowing them to reach the small bit and pull it out without any harm to Jozsi's lung. Today, the bit is displayed on a shelf in Jozsi's home. [WISN, 4/18/2022]

Focus

One unidentified person in Dublin, Ireland, was responsible for making 90% of all noise complaints received at Dublin Airport in 2021, United Press International reported on April 19. The person averaged 34 complaints per day, totaling 12,272 for the year. They nearly doubled their number from 2020, 6,227, and are already on track for a new record in 2022, with a daily average of 59. The company that runs the airport says it responds to each complaint and works with communities on issues such as aircraft noise. [UPI, 4/19/2022]

Police Report

The moral of this story: Always keep an eye on that gas gauge. Police in Memphis, Tennessee, were called about an abandoned Chevy Suburban on the I-55 bridge between Tennessee and Arkansas on April 17, WREG-TV reported. The truck, left in a southbound lane of traffic, had been struck by another car, and while police were preparing to tow it away, the Chevy's owner, Catherine Mardesich, 54, returned to the scene, saying she had run out of gas. But when police started to inventory the truck, she allegedly said, "I don't want you going through my vehicle." And here's why: Inside they found 229 pounds of marijuana and $17,800 in cash. Mardesich was charged with possession. Nearest gas station? 0.9 mile. [WREG, 4/19/2022]

Suspicions Confirmed

When a load of "weird" items were delivered to a Los Angeles-area charity in February, a worker there thought the donor must have been "rich or famous or whatever," KABC-TV reported on April 21. But one item drew the attention of the Los Angeles Police Department: a large stuffed reindeer that had a hole on its underside. A staff member at the charity was inspecting the hole to see if it could be fixed when three bags of white powder fell out. Officers said the substance resembled cocaine, but they took Blitzen away for further investigation. [KABC, 4/21/2022]

Oops

Henry DeHart of Chattanooga, Tennessee, stopped to fill up his gas tank on April 14 and noticed that his 12 gallons of premium fuel only cost him $5.64. He figured out that while the price of gas was averaging more than $4 a gallon, the pump was set to $0.449. DeHart told the owner, who was "on the verge of tears," since he had been undercharging for several hours. "There's no telling how much money he lost today," DeHart told KRCG-TV. DeHart said the man behind him in line was not happy that he had brought the mistake to the owner's attention, but DeHart knew it was the right thing to do. In fact, he paid the owner what he would have been charged had the pump been set correctly. Good on him. [KRCG, 4/21/2022]

A birthday party for an employee at Gravity Diagnostics in Kentucky cost the company $450,000, but it wasn't an expensive cake and decorations that ran up the bill, WLKY-TV reported. The employee, whose birthday fell on Aug. 7, asked the office manager days before to forgo the usual celebration because such affairs trigger his anxiety disorder, and "being the center of attention" would cause him to suffer a panic attack. However, the manager went ahead with planning a lunchtime to-do in the break room, which caused the guest of honor to flee to his car to eat his lunch. The next day, the birthday boy was called into a meeting and scolded for his reaction and was later fired "because of the events of the previous week," according to a lawsuit he filed against the company. In the suit, the former employee said the company didn't accommodate his anxiety disorder and caused him to suffer a "loss of income and benefits and emotional distress and mental anxiety." The Kenton County jury agreed and awarded him the six-figure amount. [WLKY, 4/14/2022]

It's a Dirty Job ...

In Australia, Queensland's Bill Edgar is known to some as the Coffin Confessor. As such, Edgar shows up at funerals and speaks for the deceased, telling off family members, setting friends straight and delivering bad news about beneficiaries, News.com.au reported on April 14. But Edgar's job doesn't stop there. His services, for which he charges $2,000 to $10,000, have expanded to removing items from the deceased's home that they'd rather the family not see: "Could be sex toys, messages of hate, love, whatever it is they've written down, that they want removed from their web browsers. One gentleman had ... a sex dungeon in one of his bedrooms. And that gentleman was 88 years of age, believe it or not," Edgar said. He even delivers his services in the United States and United Kingdom, and he said Paramount has picked up the story for a movie. [news.com.au, 4/14/2022]

Location, Location, Location

According to Washingtonian magazine, a five-bedroom house for sale in Fairfax, Virginia, listed for $800,000, will "go quickly" in a neighborhood where many homes sell for $1 million or more. It's not in great shape, granted, but the biggest drawback? The home has "a person(s) living in lower level with no lease in place." And prospective buyers can't see the lower level. Listing agent Zinta K. Rodgers-Rickert said the basement resident has "weaseled her way in" and does not pay rent, and the current owners can't "emotionally deal with the eviction." Nevertheless, the house already had attracted at least one offer, with more expected. Rodgers-Rickert helpfully drew a picture of the basement for one potential buyer and said it's in no worse shape than the rest of the house. Except for that squatter, of course. [Washingtonian, 4/12/2022]

Now, Where Did I Put That ...

On April 11, ITV News reported that a dead body had been left in a "side room" at the Diana, Princess of Wales Hospital in Grimsby, England, for four days. Once discovered, the body was removed to the hospital's mortuary, and the deceased's family was notified. Officials, who did not reveal the identity of the body, have launched an investigation and offered their apologies to the patient's family. [ITV News, 4/11/2022]

The Tech Revolution

It may have been April 1, but it was no April Fools' prank. A San Francisco police officer approached an idling car with its headlights off around 10 p.m. and saw that it was empty, SFGate reported. That's when the car moved forward, crossed the intersection and came to a stop with its emergency flashers on. As it turned out, the AV, or autonomous vehicle, was operated by Cruise, and was just trying to move into a safe position before yielding to officers. "An officer contacted Cruise personnel, and no citation was issued," the company explained in a statement. A maintenance team was dispatched to take control of the vehicle. [SFGate, 4/12/2022]

I'll Do Anything for a Frosty®

David Stover, 57, has been telling workers at the Bunnell, Florida, Wendy's restaurant that he's an undercover DEA agent ever since his buddy who worked there left, in an effort to continue getting a discount on food, ClickOrlando.com reported. The store manager told investigators Stover would even flash a badge when asked for proof. Unfortunately for the fast-food fan, the badge was a concealed-carry permit, and police were called to Wendy's on April 11 because Stover was arguing with the staff. He was arrested for impersonating a law enforcement officer. [ClickOrlando.com, 4/12/2022]

The Job of the Researcher

In preparing to reconstruct Paris' Notre-Dame cathedral after a devastating fire in 2019, scientists have discovered a sarcophagus that may date to the 14th century, France24 reported. It was buried 65 feet underground, among the brick pipes of an old heating system, and extracted from the cathedral on April 12. They were able to look inside using an endoscopic camera, where they saw a skeleton, a pillow of leaves and fabric, among other items. Lead archaeologist Christophe Besnier noted that "if it turns out that it is in fact ... from the Middle Ages, we are dealing with an extremely rare burial practice." France's Institute of Forensic Medicine will study the body and contents of the sarcophagus and try to determine the social rank of the person. Afterward, it will be returned "as an anthropological asset" and could possibly be reinterred at Notre-Dame. [France24, 4/14/2022]

Not Your Ordinary Quickie Mart

A "convenience store" called Skraptyques in a Lumberton, New Jersey, strip mall was selling more than scratch-offs and cigarettes, according to Yahoo! News. In-the-know customers allegedly surrendered their cellphones to an armed guard in a bulletproof vest and were scanned by handheld metal detectors before being shown into a back room, where they could shop for marijuana, edibles and psychedelic mushrooms with colorful packages mimicking popular food items such as "Cheetos, Life Savers, Nerds and Skittles," the Burlington County Prosecutor's Office said. The store's owners, Matthew Quinn, 44, and Crystal Cain, 30, were charged in late March with possessing marijuana and psilocybin mushrooms, along with other offenses; three employees were also charged. [Yahoo! News, 4/13/2022]

... and in Related News

Rebecca Swanner, 60, owner of a home day care in Garrisonville, Virginia, was charged with three counts of cruelty and injury to children as a result of three 1-year-olds in her care going to the emergency room after allegedly eating what the sheriff's office described as "gold fish crackers" laced with THC, the psychoactive ingredient in cannabis. The incident happened in early March; a Stafford County Sheriff's detective investigated and sent some of the crackers to a lab for testing, where the presence of THC was detected. NBC Washington reported that Swanner surrendered to the sheriff's office on April 14 and was released on bond. [NBC Washington, 4/15/2022]

Can't Possibly Be True

Edward Draper and his son, Rowan, have set a Guinness World Record for hanging up 10 items of clothing, according to SWLondoner. The pair achieved the amazing feat at Turk's Head pub in Twickenham, London, England, in March. They hung up 10 items of clothing on wooden hangers in 56.87 seconds. Seriously? Good on them for raising money for the British Heart Foundation, but geez, men. Might want to visit the laundry room more often. [SWLondoner, 4/14/2022]

The Glitter Twins, Sarah Franks, 29, and Kaitlin O'Donovan, 27, have had their charges dropped in Clearwater, Florida, after a January incident in which they "glitter bombed" one Jacob Colon at 3 a.m. at his home, The Smoking Gun reported on April 5. Franks and O'Donovan, who are married, allegedly threw glitter containers at Colon as he stood on the balcony of his apartment, then entered his home and further assaulted him with glitter, police said, but prosecutors concluded that "the facts and circumstances revealed do not warrant prosecution at this time." The "twins" had been free on bond since their arrest for felony burglary. Colon had at one time been involved in a "three-way type of thing" with them, but it had ended before the incident took place. [The Smoking Gun, 4/5/2022]

The Passing Parade

Rachel Mulcahy is in trouble with Clonard Monastery in Belfast, Northern Ireland for apparently posing as a nun and disrupting services at the church, the Belfast Telegraph reported on April 3. In recent days, she has been served with an injunction to stay at least 150 yards away from the building, but the bogus nun says she is praying for its parishioners. Mulcahy is also known around town for dancing frantically in the streets to religious music, accompanied by two evangelical preachers playing musical instruments. She sometimes falls to her knees and shouts, "Christ, come into me!" She told the Telegraph that she is "in love. Head over heels. I can't stop it. I love Jesus Christ so much that all I can think about is him." But one "insider" claimed she "is not a nun" and said "the congregation (is) quite elderly and they felt intimidated by Ms. Mulcahy's behavior. They just want to be left alone to pray in peace." [Belfast Telegraph, 4/3/2022]

Crime Report

It may not be Easter yet, but Mr. Bunny is already making it into the headlines. In Brandon, Manitoba, Canada, a 27-year-old man was in the process of robbing a business on March 31 when an employee tried to thwart him, the CBC reported. But the thief was armed with a Mr. Solid brand chocolate Easter bunny, which he used to hit the employee. The shoplifter escaped but was found nearby and arrested; the employee suffered only minor injuries. The stolen merch was returned to the store; no word on how Mr. Solid fared. [CBD, 4/1/2022]

Niche Crime

Seattle police were called to a downtown art gallery on April 5 after a man who claimed to have a knife stole an ancient mammoth tusk valued at several thousand dollars, KOMO-TV reported. The thief then escaped in a stolen plum-colored PT Cruiser, police said. Gallery owners said the theft is the second incident in recent weeks; the shop also carries fine-art sculptures. Investigators were hoping to recover the tusk, and the gallery is planning to hire more security guards. [KOMO, 4/6/2022]

Naughty

Electric vehicle charging stations in Isle of Wight, England, were hacked in the most middle-school of ways, the BBC reported on April 6. It seems someone reprogrammed the screens on the charge points to show a pornographic website instead of the Chargepoint Genie network. "We are saddened to learn that a third-party web address displayed on our electric vehicle (EV) signage appears to have been hacked," the Isle of Wight Council said in a statement. They apologized to anyone who "may have found the inappropriate web content." [BBC, 4/6/2022]

You Can't Park Here

A strange sight greeted residents of a rural area of Kansas on April 5: a mobile home resting smack in the middle of a gravel road, with no owner (or resident) in site. The Kansas City Star reported that the home was found in southern Labette County, and the sheriff’s office made a request via Facebook for the public’s help in identifying the owner of the mobile home. Of course, theories ran wild among Facebook users. “Maybe they are on house arrest and needed to go somewhere,” one user said. In the early evening on April 6, the sheriff’s office announced that they had found the owner of the abandoned mobile home, and it was later revealed that blown trailer tires during transport were to blame for its temporary abandonment. [Kansas City Star, 4/7/2022]

Dangerous Work

The night shift workers at the Mr. Chips french fry factory in East Tamaki, New Zealand, received a bit of a shock as 28 tons of russet potatoes from a farm in nearby Matamata worked their way through the factory's conveyor belts. What appeared to be just another muddy potato was discovered to be a World War II-era hand grenade. "The guys were really calm and collected and they reacted in an extremely professional manner," Roland Spitaels, the factory's operations manager, told Stuff.co.nz. Police responded to the scene and subsequently called upon the New Zealand Defence Force's explosive ordnance disposal team, who removed the grenade from the facility; X-rays revealed it was a training version of a hand grenade, containing no explosives. Spitaels hopes the police will return the grenade to the company when their investigation is complete so it can be put on display in the factory's trophy room. [Stuff New Zealand, 4/6/2022]

Now Hiring

Tired of mild winters and modern conveniences? Looking for a new gig? We know just the job for you! The U.K. Antarctic Heritage Trust charity is accepting applications for seasonal positions at its Port Lockroy base in Antarctica. The base is in need of personnel to take on several duties, including running a post office and monitoring penguins. Other open positions include base leader, shop manager and general assistant to work at the gift shop and post office from November 2022 to March 2023. The base was established in 1944 and is located on Goudier Island in the Palmer Archipelago, west of the Antarctic Peninsula. Besides average seasonal temperatures of -10 degrees Celsius (14 degrees Fahrenheit) and minimal hours of darkness each day, living conditions for the workers will include limited power with no running water or internet access. Job seekers outside the U.K. can apply, but they must have the right to work in the U.K. The deadline for applications is 7:59 p.m. EDT on April 25. [UPI, 4/6/2022]

This Couch Has a Lump

Alex Trejo, a reptile expert and owner of So-Cal Rattlesnake Removal, got more than he'd bargained for in a recent house call -- about 7 feet more. While most folks never find anything more interesting than spare change in their couch cushions, one Chula Vista resident found a snake: a 7-foot-long Vietnamese blue beauty rat snake, to be precise. "This guy calls me, is pretty frantic and he's like, 'There's a snake in my couch,'" Trejo told ABC 10 News in San Diego. Trejo said he was shocked to find such a beast in a sofa, calling it a "once in a lifetime snake rescue" in a Facebook post. The species is nonvenomous, is not native to the United States, and was apparently not interested in being captured: "He didn't (bite) my skin, but he actually got the lining of my shirt," Trejo said. The snake is in the care of a specialist, receiving treatment for a respiratory infection. The animal's owner has not yet been located. [ABC 10, 3/31/2022]